I've been thinking a lot lately about having a second child.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

I'm from a family of two kids. I'm five years older than my brother. I remember I was very lonely before my brother was born. I think giving me a brother was one of the greatest things my parents ever did for me. We played together a lot, but often I wished we were closer in age so that we could do more together.

I feel a strong urge to have a second child and to have it soon. I feel like my family is not complete without two children. My son just turned two a few weeks ago. I think three years would be a good age gap. I also want to stay home with my kids, for as long as I can. The sooner I have a second child, the sooner I can return to the work force.

The only issue is finances. We are not very financially stable. We never have been. This didn't stop us from having our son, but he was unplanned. Now that I have the chance to plan a pregnancy, I feel like I should be all practical and logical about it. I have a hard time doing this. I also think that perhaps we might never make the amount of money that we'd like to make. I cannot predict the future. I'm afraid if we wait too long on it we might never have the second one. I think I would really regret not having a second child. I want to give my son the opportunity to be a big brother.

I come from a lower-middle class family, so I'm used to struggling. It just seems like a fact of life to me. Sometimes I think it might be nice to be well-off money wise, but ultimately I care more about having a good family and friends.

My husband is not adverse to the idea of having a second child (he has two siblings), but he is concerned about the additional stress that comes with having a second one. We both want another one, we are just unsure of when we should do it. For me, since I'm the one who would be pregnant, I feel the sooner the better.

Anyone have thoughts on having a second kid?

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

1. with the looming disaster this country is facing? I have two

wonderful daughters, I love them dearly, and I like children in general, which is why I would not want them to have to go through what I fear will come here.

Me? I would say no.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

2. I have no kids so take this with a grain of salt

but remember the saying where there's a will, there's a way. And best wishes to you, your husband and your son.

[LearnedHand]

3. I agree with NSMA!

Listen to your heart, not your pocketbook. Yes, your expenses will increase, but so will your joy, since you WANT another child!

[Maple]

4. By all means

have another child.

You want one, and it's time.

Bringing a child into the world with love, is never wrong.

The world will always have difficult situations. If that had stopped people from having children, none of us would be here now.

Don't worry about money or time. As my father used to say, 'One child takes all of it, so two can't take any more.' :)

[Old and In the Way]

5. I have 2 kids......

I say, go for it.

[mike_c]

6. normally I would not presume to offer this advice...

...but you asked, so I'll offer.

Don't do it. Please try to think beyond your own desires in this. There are too many humans on the Earth. I say that not as a Birkenstock wearing dreadlocked earth muffin but as a professional ecologist. If EVERYONE were responsible enough to step back and reflect on whether the world would be a better place with more humans or with fewer, we might have some hope for saving our world from drowning in our waste or sputtering out from our over consumption. Let me remind you that reaching human carrying capacity will not be an abstract event-- it will be a time of misery without parallel in human history. Everyone with the capacity to decide whether to have more children has a say in determining the kind of world their offspring will inherit.

Do you know "The Tragedy of the Commons" by Garrett Hardin? Here's an HTML version if you don't: http://dieoff.org/page95.htm

It summarizes the issue better than anything else I've seen. The tragedy is that when anyone exploits common resources for their own reasons, the benefits accrue to them but everyone else bears the costs. Nowhere is this more true than in human reproduction. When everyone chooses to serve their own interests, everyone loses.

Truth in advertising disclaimer: I'm 50, have a lovely daughter, and had my vasectomy 2 weeks after she was born, 25 years ago. I hope you won't think my advice too presumptuous.

[tooncesj0nes]

7. my wife and I ...

..decided no to kids in this world of instability...with all the hatred toward the US, I wouldnt want to see my children suffer when the bill comes due for the actions of Bush. Bioterrorism scares the hell out of us....it wouldnt be fair to subject a child to such a world...

[Maple]

8. I had my 2 kids

when Viet Nam was going on, riots were taking place, and a population explosion that would overwhelm the earth was predicted. Everyone said not to have kids because the sky was falling, the world was ending, civilization as we knew it was over.

None of it happened.

And I would have missed SO much joy.

So I'm glad I ignored all the well-meaning advice.

Go for it.