There is no God...

[teach1st]

...damn food in the house, and I'm hungry. I'm living off leftover Halloween candy.

[smiley_glad_hands]

1. LOL! eom

[alittlelark]

2. There is no God

damn God......I wish I could believe in one, but alas, I cannot.

[GOPisEvil]

3. You don't keep an emergency can of soup in the cupboard?

I know things are bad when I'm reaching for the dusty can of chicken noodle soup.

[short bus president]

13. Naw, son...

you know things are BAD when you reach for that dusty can, notice that it's swollen and suspicious-looking, but heat & eat it anyway, thinking the magic rays from the micro-wave-box will kill the botulism, but yer WRONG! The botulism figgered out long ago to wear its tinfoil hat, and it's smarter than you are. You have no hope. You've been bested by microbes.

[Spiffarino]

4. I worship the Devil

ed Ham sandwich lying half-eaten on the middle shelf of my fridge. Is that so wrong?

[kestrel91316]

5. Borrow $5 from each of 4 friends................

go buy the biggest bags of pinto beans and rice you can afford, it will get you by until money comes in.

[JohnnyRingo]

6. I lived for months once on grilled cheese and tomato soup

It was during the Reagan Admin.

Can of tomato soup..$.40
Loaf of bread.......$.70
Kraft Singles...Shoplift unless "welfare cheese" was available.

Survive for 4-5 days.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

7. SMACK Ramen Noodles are $0.10

a pack....gather up all th change around the house and in the car. I'll bet you'll be ok for a while.
Duckie

[teach1st]

8. Money isn't the problem...

...I just hate stores.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

11. Drive-thru? Order a Pizza?

Suck it up and go to the store.
Duckie

[indigobusiness]

14. Stores

are Godless.

[autorank]

9. Yes there is! And she's pissed as Hell at us.

Corporate America controls the media and we get manufactured news.
Corporate America now controls the voting machines and we get manufactured elections.

http://www.blackboxvoting.org/

[silverpatronus]

10. i'm a jobless international student...

and i SO feel your pain.

[Ilsa]

12. Yeah, but if you're going today, you wanna get there

before the church people get out. It gets crowded then. And the donuts disappear.