Stephen Donaldon's "Thomas Covenant" series is just intolerable shit

[Rabrrrrrr]

has to be the worst shit dreck ever written in the fantasy genre.

Tried to read it in high school, said "Pfagh!" during the first book.

Read it after college, got as far as into the second book, and said, "Pfagh! This is shit!"

Then, tried it again at 29, just to give it one more chance, and made it into the third book, and stopped.

Donaldson has far too much of my money for the shit that he pawned off on me (since I rebought the trilogy every time I tried to read his shit).

I have never read prose as pedantic, miserable, and just plain shittily written as his. Which is too bad, because the basic storyline and the creativity that went into the characters and the locations and the plot is genius. But the writing is utter shit,to the point that I couldn't give a damn about anyone or anything, and then, finally, couldn't even give a damn about finishing the series and finding out what the hell happened.

I have better things to do with my time.

[Fovea]

1. I agree with you entirely.

Props for trying, but some things are just not worth it.

[Systematic Chaos]

2. ROFLMAO Hell yeah those books SUCK

Your post cracks me up because I was really big into reading fantasy and sci-fi in the late 80's, and I bought the entire first trilogy in one shot just like you did.

I remember getting the books home, starting into the first one and thinking at the start that the premise sounded awesome. About halfway through the first book I began to notice that every single interaction between characters consisted of a greeting to rival the verbosity of Homer's Odyssey, followed by a bunch of pompous stupidity, and then a reprise of the greeting in the form of parting wishes and who-the-F**K-knew what else. And, if memory serves, it seemed like the hero just got EVERYTHING handed to him in spite of an aura of self pity that would make a fundy preacher charged with pedophilia proud.

I gave the series of books away to someone and promptly forgot about them... until you brought them up. Thanks for the chuckle.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Odyssean and Pompous Stupidity

I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks those books suck rubber dinkey lungs.

Pompous stupidity is an excellent descriptor of it.

And yes, everything gets handed to the miserable whiner.

[skygazer]

4. That has actually been a problem to me with a lot of fantasy

I never read his books so I can't say anything about them but so much fantasy that I have read has been so badly written that it's tough to wade through. The ideas are often very good and what keeps me going but there have been many fantasy books that I've just had to toss down in disgust - my mental red pencil is doing so much work that I can't concentrate on the story itself.

Stephen King remarked in one of his books that there are books you read for the story and there are books you read for the writing. Every now and then there's a book that combines both (his example was Lord of the Flies which I wholeheartedly agree with) - an incredible story written with lyrical skill. It seems to me that too few fantasy writers have that skill.

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. You are right - a lot of fantasy fiction isn't the world's best

But I've never come across a fantasy novel or set thereof that was unreadable in the way the Thomas Covenant books are. And though there are many that I wouldn't necessarily go back and read again, there is no book that I never finished once I started, except these books.

[skygazer]

6. Guess I won't bother then!

That's a pretty damning review. And bummer that you kept buying them - I'm a library nut. If I bought all the books I read, I'd need a separate house just for them!

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. Well, a friend of mine loved the books. Would go on and on about them.

So in deference to my respect for his taste (we pretty much awlays agreed on things we liked to read), I kept giving the book a try, hoping that maybe I'd "get it" more as I got older.

[China_cat]

7. I guess you haven't tried the Gormenghast trilogy, have you? :)

[Minstrel Boy]

9. hey, easy there!

Gormenghast is a treasure.

Thomas Covenant, well, I've owned the books for 25 freakin' years, and still haven't got through them.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

10. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......................................

I have tried a read it a few times as well. Covenant's incessant whining puts me off every time: "Oooo! I'm a leper. Unclean!! I think everyone around me should die defending my sorry ass!"

[pdx_prog]

11. A friend of mine recommended these

to me in my early twenties.....I read a few chapters and my head hurt. An ordinary cheap gold wedding ring turns you into the most powerful man in a fantasy land.....yeah right. The fantasy crap is just that, "crap". Why would anyone want to waste their time with it.....that's time you will never get back. Read something real for gawds sake.

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. I agree and disagree

We are in agreement that the book is awful.

However, the broadsweeping generalization that fantasy literature itself is crap, is crap. Fantasy literature is just as legitimate as any other form of literature.

[ReadTomPaine]

13. Looking for superb fantasy? Try Karl Edward Wagner...

He's the perfect antidote for the high concept fantasy writing typified by Donaldson and others mentioned on DU recently. His Kane series are simply the best sword and sorcery stories ever written. I believe they are out of print currently, but not hard to find.

RTP

[Wat_Tyler]

14. Poorly written stuff.

A combination of the worst of Terry Brooks and the worst of Stephen King.

[ReadTomPaine]

15. Terry Brooks.. worse than Donaldson I think.

Fisher-Price fantasy.

RTP

[Wat_Tyler]

16. They're both lousy.

When things are that bad, it's difficult to work out who's worse.

[ReadTomPaine]

17. I'm surprised no Donaldson fans have popped up...

... they tend to rabidly defend him, and there are a lot of them. Perhaps his writing appeals more to conservatives than liberals.

RTP

[Rabrrrrrr]

18. That could be. Part of the whole "People are here to do things for me

while I piss and moan about my life as a suffering white guy" attitude might be more attractive to republicans.

[DS1]

19. I'll take your word for it, fellow Kinkade fighter

:-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. Woo hoo! Thanks!

I feel so affirmed!!

And your post reminds me, I've been spending so much of my hatred toward our war criminal president, that I haven't bothered to hate Kinkade at all for the last 4 or 5 months.

I'll have to remedy that, but it's gonna be tough to get in the spirit again. Kinkade seems so utterly inoffensive in comparison to the steaming pile of rodential shit in the white house.

[DS1]

23. Get your hate on, right here

:-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

24. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

[Ladyhawk]

20. My brother loves them.

Is there a hidden reason why he might like them?

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. A hidden reason? Sorry to say, your brother is probably an axe murderer

and a cross-dressing sycophant.

[Ladyhawk]

26. Well, he's an Ayn-Rand-, Rush-Limbaugh-loving neoconservative asswipe. nt

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. That could be very telling, then...

sorry to hear you have a brother like that.

[Philostopher]

25. I never bothered with the Covenant books.

Was told ages ago they were shite. I read another one of his, back in the '80s, and all I remember was that the lead character -- a young woman from the modern world, somehow thrown into the Middle Ages -- spent much of her time in the book panicking, screaming and fainting. I didn't even notice how execrable the prose was until halfway through the book, I was so pissed at how crappy the development of the main character was.

Tad Williamson is better, or at least I like his style. I'm not a big fantasy reader, these days -- even back when I did read some of it, I was more into SF.

Anyway, you're right about Donaldson being a hack, as far as I'm concerned -- and I think I've jumped into the Kinkade threads before and helped you joyfully deconstruct Kinkade fandom. And that little town they built up east that was based on his nauseating paintings. Hork!