I just got finished talking to Jesus.

[BoX o BooX]

He wants you to stop masturbating and do some chores.

[autorank]

1. Could you ask him who is going to win the Kentucky Derby. Thnx.

[Dogmudgeon]

2. Yeah? Tell him to stop biting his nails.

It ain't dignified.

--bkl

[mr_hat]

3. But Jesus! Ain't this the day of rest?

[BoX o BooX]

4. That was yesterday.

Today is the first day of the week. Check any calendar.

[EstimatedProphet]

5. ROFL

That gave me a good laugh!

[MrScorpio]

6. He must be thinking of the kittens

[Liberal Veteran]

7. Um, that wasn't Jesus...that was your roomate.

:)

[nickgutierrez]

8. Hola, Jesus! n/t

[belladonna]

9. I did my chores yesterday

Just so I could spend today masturbating. Jesus can take a hike, no change of plans here

[democracy eh]

10. did he happen to mention why my dog keeps throwing up?

I assume it was something she ate,
but it might be some kind of holy omen that I am missing.

so if you are talking to him again, and wouldn't mind asking...

[jukes]

11. ask him

how he let things get so fucked up?

[Arkana]

12. Really?

Cause I just got off the phone with Jeebus, his evil twin, and he has convinced George W. to hide in the bathroom, masturbating frantically.

[liberalitch]

13. Geee, funny thing. I spoke to Jesus this morning too

he asked me if I wanted to put the sugar in the cup before he started my cappucino and would I like more steamed milk or foam.

[Tweed]

14. Did he say how Alan is doing?

[Midlodemocrat]

15. Can you ask him to send me the lottery numbers? Thanks.