I am having a struggle; I would like to know what you think.

[put out]

My struggle is mostly with myself. It's ethics.

I have a 15 y.o. son. He is a beautiful boy, does well in school, likes doing sports, and has some good friends. And, he is small.

I am also small. My father is, too, and some other of my family members. My son's dad is tall, and so is most of his family. So, after a lot of time talking about it with his dad, we have an appointment with a pediatric endocrinologist, just his father and I. My son knows nothing of this.

We thought he might be a "late bloomer", just as most of the men in our families were. Now, he is blooming and his pediatrician says he probably will grow to be 5'7" or 5'8". Or, maybe 5'6". He has been 10% on the growth charts since he was a little boy.

Now, if something (such as human growth hormone) can or should be done, it must be done pretty quickly; he is changing so fast now. When his growth plates, the places on the ends of his long bones, harden, no more lengthening of bone can occur. This might happen within two or three years.

So, his father and I decided that I should do most of the talking to the endocrinologist, and this is why: we don't want the doctor to think that we are aiming for a son jock that his daddy can coach. That isn't it at all. If he needed braces, he would have them. If acne gets to be a problem, we will see a dermatologist. I just want to do what I can for his best.

Prepare for sexist talk. Taller men earn more money. They have a wider choice of mates. They get better grades. You can equal everything else out, and tall men fare better. Hell, I'd be taller if I had a choice.

My beautiful boy will not know if the doctor says it can't or shouldn't be done. If the doc says he wants to see my son, then it is my son's decision. I am on the edge of tears about this. I just have to know I did everything I could. I would move heaven and earth for that child.

What do you think? I could use some perspective.

[Sannum]

1. I have no advice,

Just a supportive hug. :hug:

[put out]

8. Thank you so much.

We all try our best.

[Winamericaback]

2. If you think

It is in his best interests then do it.

Just talking to the doctor isn't going to hurt anything.

As an aside, maybe he will have a growth spurt.

My Father in law is 6 ft. My Mother in law is 4 ft 11. My Husband is 5 10. Not really tall, but tall enough. He kind of spurted when he turned 15. It could still happen.

Just do what you think is right. It will work it self out in the end :)

[put out]

9. We will pursue what we think is right and better for him.

Thank you. We shall see. I want the best for him, and I love him so. Short or not-so-short, he is a lovely son.

[Dookus]

3. My feeling is that

EVERYBODY has shortcomings, either real or perceived. Some are medically treatable, most aren't. I think it would be more useful to teach him to accept his height (and 5'8" isn't terribly short) than take the risks of endocrine "enhancement".

It's not like he's gonna be 5'1". He will be of slightly-less-than-average height... you guess. He may well spurt up. My father was 5'6" when he graduated from High School. He ended up 5'11".

I know you want to do what's best for him, but you can't solve EVERY problem - and in fact, I don't even think this is a problem. The fact that it worries YOU so much probably makes it worse for him.

If I can act like an old man, back in MY day, we never worried about such things. Some people were tall, some were short, and it never really mattered.

[put out]

10. "back in MY day"

You can talk like an old man, just don't act like one!

And, you might be correct, and I don't want to worry him. I will try not to project my insecurities onto his being. I am continuing to do research into the use of growth hormones. He will be of normal height, so I doubt he'd be a candidate. You are kind.

[Nordic]

4. Personally? I'd say don't play God

God made him the size he is. If he's 5'6 or 5'7 he'll be fine. It's not like he's a dwarf or something.

Nobody really knows what the long term affects of hormone therapy are.

I'd say leave it alone.

Just my two cents.

Just think if this crazy therapy wasn't available. What would you tell him? Tell him that.

[put out]

13. Yes, it is scary to even contemplate.

His father and I will do our absolute best. I can't find anything much about long-term affects of hormone therapy. We can leave it alone and he is always going to be one of the good guys. Thanks.

[proudbluestater]

5. It's hard to know how to respond to you

and have it come out in the way I intend. So I guess I'll do what I usually do, which is frame it in a "how I would do it" type way and you can read and reject or embrace as you see fit.

For me, a large part of my job as a parent is to accept my children as they are, warts and all. In this way I encourage them to accept themselves which is the greatest gift I can give them as a mom.

Good luck with your decision. We all do what we think is best for our kids and that's what counts.

[put out]

14. Thank you.

He will still ALWAYS be taller than I am, and he just loves it!

In the end, it will be up to his doctor and up to him. We have a long way to go if it gets to that point.

[Gardeaux08]

6. Tough one.

I guess I understand that you want the best for your child. Of course there could be actual health risks that others are pointing out. But I think I would wonder how it would affect his attitude at some point. Would this illustrate to him that he needs to do anything he can to get ahead? And what would that eventually entail?

I know what the studies out there say about a lot of things. But no one in my family is very tall and we are a successful bunch. You teach him to be a confident man, and I promise, he will have all he needs.

[mirandaod]

7. Get at least a second opinion.

Our son was little - way below normal on the growth charts all along. His pediatrician wasn't too concerned, because I'm 5'1" and his dad is 5'8" - doubtful he'd be very tall.
When he was about 11 and edging into a cranky puberty, a school counsellor suggested that his crankiness was due to his small size, and we'd better think about going to an endocrinologist for growth hormones. We ignored her.
When he got to be 16 he had a major growth spurt, and now at 24 he's 5'11". I'm glad I ignored the counsellor.
It's funny, tho, our younger son grew faster as a little one, but as an adult, he's 5'8".
Get lots of good advice, and at the end of the day, trust your heart. Good luck.

[Jean Louise Finch]

11. Short and sweet

I'm just 5' (little blonde woman), and my partner is only about 5'6", and I wouldn't trade him for the world. Think about all the little women or little men out there that'll love to have your son as a non-neck-wrenching option!

I can't imagine having a little beautiful boy undergo hormone treatments just to make him bigger: lots of short men go on to have perfectly perfect lives with no great trauma or drama associated with their height. Plus, if he ever wants to live or travel outside of the US, particularly in Asia, he won't be a freakishly huge Farang amidst the normal-sized people.

Check out this article on Salon about short men:

Short and Sweet by Curtis Sittenfeld
--
You can look him straight in the eye and even borrow his clothes: Some reasons why smaller men rock.

[NV Whino]

12. I say don't mess with momma nature

Besides, as a short woman, I have always been more comfortable with shorter men.''
Nothing wrong with 5'6" to 5'8".

By the way, is he concerned with his height? Or is it just you?

[put out]

19. He is stoic. It is probably me, but I don't know.

But, as a smaller woman, I always did appreciate kissing a man more my size. Always reminded me of horizontal. No sex threads.

[burrowowl]

15. Dennis Kucinich is short

and he is a Representative and damn smart.
Napoleon was short, but I do prefer Kucinich.
Abe Lincoln was tall, but would he be elected today? Would people say he needed plastic surgery?
Hormone treatment for drawfism maybe but 5'6" isn't bad, wasn't there a pro basketball player who was 5'6" or so and he was capitain (brains) and dribbled under all those big slow moving giants.

[put out]

17. Wow, I feel better, no kidding.

I'm not going to sweat this so much. It is just an appointment, that's all. I want to do the best I can do.

And he is growing up to be a liberal. If I can't give him length of bone, his daddy and I bring him that.

[Baja Margie]

16. 5'7" is not bad,

there was a program on TV on this topic a few years back, it's pretty painful & costly from what I remember. I don't know. The kids that were having the procedure done really wanted it done and were willing to suffer and sacrifice. I don't know enough about it to advise, maybe you could make contact through the net with families that have gone through this,and see what the aftereffects are, also get ahold of an American Medical Journal and read, read, read !

[Spinzonner]

18. Are you trying to solve a problem of his or yours ?

You said:

"He is a beautiful boy, does well in school, likes doing sports, and has some good friends."

What more does he really need ?

Have you studied the psychological aspects of short stature AND treatment for it and that of the parents ?

I think you (both) should go for some counseling before you proceed to involve your son in this and make sure it something you're doing for him and not for yourselves - even if its just because you think he might need it.

If he hasn't made an issue of his size on his own its hard to see why you should. Maybe you're opening up something he's mostly unconcerned about.

[MsConduct]

20. I say go for it! A friend of mine's daughter

was born with Turners Syndrome, which among other things, causes dwarfism. She went though the same dilemma. Without them, her daughter might have made it to 4'6". She decided to do it. They did
the injections from 15 to 18 and Sarah got to be 5' tall. Everyone is
happy with the results.

Good Luck!