Email: Classes For Men At The Learning Center For Adults (FUNNY)

[matcom]

CLASSES FOR MEN
AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY October 32nd.

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
(Note: this class meets at O'Malley's Brew Pub on 16th Street) Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours
beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.



Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

[ewagner]

1. ROFLMAO

Thanks Matcom.........sent it to a buddy of mine..........

[sui generis]

2. I'm signed up for #7 and #10

I flunked the first two times I took it.

[redqueen]

3. hehehehe

cute. :D

[DS1]

4. spare me your feminazi bullshit

:hi:

[matcom]

12. then SHUT UP NAZI!!!

:7

[Dogmudgeon]

5. Imagine my perplexity

Having lived alone without female supervision for a period of 19 years, I find almost all of these topics to be non-sex-specific. For instance, long ago I learned how to wash dishes, clean the bathroom, shop for, prepare, and properly eat food with clean utensils.

I still couldn't even get laid if you sent me into a whorehouse with $100,000 in cash, but at least I could manage to get by if I was the last surviving member of the human race, without leaving a mess when I finally did pass away.

--bkl
Turning Bad Jokes About Men Into Science Fiction
Since The Space Brothers Killed Everybody
And Replaced Them With Humanoid Robots

[NewJeffCT]

6. Your problem is...

Your problem is that you're not Brad Pitt. If Brad had been a little slow putting the dishes in the dishwasher or had forgotten to put the toilet seat down, I doubt many women would complain.

My ex-wife had a similar problem. She had a very large chest for her petite frame and said that one of the reasons she first liked me was because I was the first guy that looked her in the eyes when he talked to her... and, I said that was BS, because if Matt Dillon (her dream guy at the time) was staring at her rack, she probably wouldn't have complained.

[Dogmudgeon]

9. I can't say

Nor have the Space Brothers told me why, though they did compliment me on being as domestically advanced as I was, and helped me upgrade my music collection with some Mingus and Parker and Professor Longhair and the early Barry White stuff. Not for nothing are they called the "Space Brothers".

What is this thing you call a "dishwasher"? Is it something we were all supposed to get about four or five years ago, along with jet packs and monorails and unisex clothing?

All this talk of breastage is highly theoretical and I'm weak on my n-dimensional math. If you must know, women tend to stare at my "rack". Two mighty Man-Boobs have I, and the keen discernment to know when to pre-soak Permanent Press.

--bkl

[Beware the Beast Man]

7. Not funny.

You're invoking a gender war here, and I will have no part of it.






Just kidding...that's pretty damn funny :hi:

[zanana]

8. Touchy, touchy.

You guys can't take a joke.

[Beware the Beast Man]

10. did you scroll down?

[matcom]

11. achoo

:)

[dr.strangelove]

13. You are an A-hole

Calm down and relax. It was a joke.













Just kidding - Your sarcasm was pretty damn funny too.