Am I a bitch or just a realist?

[saracat]

My Aunt, who is really a piece of work, but the only family except for Hubby, I have, called and wanted to talk about celebrating Thanksgiving. I told her I am not especially grateful right now. She started in but how grateful she is to be alive.,the birds, the flowers, the trees etc. And that with every cloud there is a silver lining. Gag. Now most of the time she is as depressive as can be when it is all about her, but she thinks the election won't be that bad, and what can she do about it anyway, and it's not going to effect her anyway.And I shouldn't call Bush or Cheney evil. She said I should be grateful that we weren't being attacked here, and that the war was over "there". I reminded her about the WTC on Bush's watch and she said" oh, but that wasn't here. That was in NY. We don't have to worry about it!" I said 'tell that to the people of Fahjillah" I told her I'll bet she would have thought they were evil if her son's had been blown to smithereens! And then I hung up on her. Was I too mean? I don't think so. I don't think I can stand a Thanksgiving with the newly minted Pollyanna!

[azoth]

1. No way - not too mean at all. There's enough turkeyshit around already.

[auntAgonist]

2. well, she needs to get her head out of the turkey's butt..

but . . . I think when you have a chance to get together with family you really should take it if at all possible. Especially if she and your husband are all the family you have. If you can set aside your political differences for one day, you might just have a really good time. Family is important. I don't mean to sound like you should gloss over everything .... but it IS only one day. Try winning her over with kindness maybe?

just my 2cents.

[saracat]

5. Well, it is usually dysfunctional to begin with. And they always look for

something to fight about. She has two grown son's at home . One is thirty five and has never worked , locks himself in his room, and is supposed to be a genius. That one hates women and despises feminists. Always tells me I don't know my place. The other son is forty two ,divorced and schizo(really!) and she can't get him to a Doctor. Right now he is in a sickly sweet stage .That is the calm before the storm with him.And he is not on meds. Her significant other is a Bush voter who listens to Limbaugh all day. I am not sure it is worth it. And Hubby has to work on Thanksgiving from 5PM until 2AM. We would have to drive 45 minutes each way. She says she would make dinner by noon but she has never been on time with anything!

[auntAgonist]

15. Knowing more of the situation

It sounds like you may be better off staying home and taking a break. Especially if hubby isn't going to be there with you. It does sound like more stress than it's worth. I vote for a relaxing day at home with the phone turned off. :)

[warrens]

3. Too mean

That was overkill for a misguided person. She is not one of the evil ones, who GLOAT about Smirk being able to kill more.

[FM Arouet666]

4. You are kind and gentle creature.

Reading this I had some rather violent thoughts of beating dear auntie with the corpse of a large terrestrial bird, a turkey perhaps, and smothering her in gravy and cranberry sauce. Opps, back to therapy, Yes, you are a gentle realist.:evilgrin:

[chicagojoe]

6. Nope. I'd call her back and give her another ration of shit.

[FuzzySlippers]

7. You made me feel sorry for her. It sounds like her home life

is a nightmare, but I can certainly understand not wanting to go there for Thanksgiving. I'd try to get out of it as nicely as possible.

[saracat]

8. I am sorry for her but she chose her nightmare.

I don't have to live in it too. There is a lot more to the story but believe me, she created this. She even backs the anti-feminist up when he attacks women!

[FuzzySlippers]

9. I hope you know I wasn't attacking you.

I can fully understand not wanting to get mixed up in that mess.:hi:

[saracat]

12. Oh! I know that! Thank you.

I was just sayin :)

[huellewig]

10. Ditch the fucked up family.

I bet they wished you would go away. I have right wing family too. Told them to fuck off 5 years ago. Never looked back.


And I hated them before politics was an issue.

[Robeson]

11. You are a realist. You are the best!!

[flygal]

13. I say take a year off...

maybe next year people like her will finally realize what's going on. I'm trying to deal with my repuggy inlaws. I've drafted several emails and still haven't got it quite right how I want to set them straight on so many issues.

[Guaranteed]

14. I agree with her.

Think beyond the politics a little bit. Think really, really big picture.

I mean, I'm not saying the election wasn't unbelievably fucked up. It clearly was. What I'm saying is that there's more.

[Ctrl_Alt_Del]

16. I'm going through the same thing with my mom

Last time I spoke with her was the night of the VP debate, when she actually used the word "gravitas" to describe Big Dick... I felt like reaching through the phone and smacking the shit out of her. Then she told me she was voting for the chimp because "we're at war"... to which I responded, "And whose fault is that?!?!?".

Her response? "The terrorists".

It was like talking to a wall. An ill-informed, FauxNews watching wall. My own mother. Sickening.

I'll be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone this year... and probably the next four.

[FuzzySlippers]

17. Can you agree not to talk about politics?

The idea of you spending the holidays alone makes me sad.:(

[Ctrl_Alt_Del]

18. It makes me sad, too

This is the woman who took me to a Jimmy Carter rally when I was five years old... a woman I helped put Mondale/Ferraro signs out front in our garden... now she's re-married and has adopted her husband's ass-backwards line of thinking. It's heartbreaking. Like I needed any more heartache this year...

I'll try to extend the olive branch before next Thursday. Hopefully we can agree to keep the news off the television and bite our lips through the festivities. I know I can hold up my end of the deal.

[Baja Margie]

19. Hi Saracat

No, I don't think you're being a bitch. But, since she is your only family I would call her back and do the Turkey thing, but download LadyHawks CD over on Events/Activism and maybe screen it ? And try to explain to her why you are upset ? Then try to balance it with something positive ? This whole thing is a stressor, and it has taken it's toll. sometimes it's better to let go of things for just a bit to maintain our sanity and get grounded. This sort of refreshes us, then we can come back and tackle it again.

I know I get pissed off at my elderly relatives,but then I realize they just block things out. And then they're not going to be around forever, so sometimes we have to accept them with all their faults and cherish them while they're still here, I know that's difficult. But, once they're gone, they're gone.

Anywho, that's my 2 bits. I know, I'm not into the Holiday thing at all this year, but I'm still going to cook a Turkey and watch a movie or something, I'm not going to let those fuckin GOP's take that away from me !!!!

See ya later, good luck.

[Baja Margie]

21. Whoa

wait a minute, I just read the rest of the story. Jeez, I don't know, if you can handle the guilt of not having her around, then to heck with the whole thing.

Schizo? The Holidays are the worst time for them, and their Birthdays. I know. My brother is and has been for the last 30 years. Now they have him on a new med where his blood has to be monitored weekly. He is really doing good and actually living on his own, I'm so proud of him, he's trying, these people really suffer .

Anyway, another idea is to just split for the weekend.

[AlCzervik]

20. Sometimes spending holidays with friends is much better

We live 3000 miles away from our family and most of the time i'm pretty thankful for that.