Words women use

[Renew Deal]

I got this in an email...

WARNING: all hysterical wanna be feminists should not read further.

WORDS WOMEN USE
******************************
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up.
Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to

last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the

feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.

"Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over

"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care"

You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by

"Nothing" and Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men.

A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why

she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content.

Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man.

"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back

for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word

"Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with

whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done.

You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint! Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"

when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way,

and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh,"

as she will only tell you "Nothing"

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. Very true. *g*

-----------------------------------
Would Jesus love a liberal? You bet!
http://timeforachange.bluelemur.com/

[jukes]

2. sexist

a tad?

[smbolisnch]

4. I think it's just in good fun....

As I was reading it I could see myself saying and doing those exact things to my husband. I don't find it sexist at all, but that's just me.... :shrug:
Edited to add: I thought it was pretty damn funny myself!

[VelmaD]

6. What I find amusing about it...

is that I can remember my ex-boyfriend engaging in pretty much every one of those behaviors - especially the "5 minutes" thing. I've always maintained that the things each gender accuses the other of are mostly projection.

[jukes]

8. maybe i'm OTR today

or not. i just don't like to see women objectified in this way; to me, it's no more fun than a "N" joke.

[Pithlet]

61. It wasn't the joke

It was the stupid disclaimer that pissed me off.

[bobbobbins]

7. sexist, yes...but oh so true

[jukes]

13. there may be a few women this predictable & shallow

i bet they voted for bush.

i haven't bothered to associate w/ 1, not since i grew up @ , oh, say 35. some 20 years ago.

[redqueen]

15. jukes...

I do these things. Not often, but I do. Especially the 'nothing' one.

I hope you don't think I voted for bush!

:cry:

[jukes]

23. redqueen

so do i, r/q. doesn't categorize me. we ALL are predictable & shallow @ times. i'll repeat, if this was a disparaging list of "ebonix", wd we tolerate it?

[redqueen]

38. I would

I laugh at Dave Chappelle's jokes too.

I guess you find him offensive as hell, don't you?

[smbolisnch]

16. Well

Like I said, I can see myself saying and doing those things all the time. Does that make me predictable or shallow? No, but thanks for assuming so. Did I vote for *? Nope, not that either.

Jeezus. I am amazed at how a simple joke can be turned into such a big deal! :wtf:

[redqueen]

17. Predictable & shallow

yeah, I missed that the first time.

Ouch.

[jukes]

19. call 'em

like i see 'em.

substitute "words black people use" & see how well it's received here.

[redqueen]

21. But it's okay if Dave Chappelle does it?

I don't get all the PCness. If lots of women do these things, why get upset over someone making a joke about it?

[VelmaD]

24. The question is...

do "lots of women" really do these things? And if they do is it because that's really how women are or because "jokes" like this have been told over and over so many times that it's how too many women believe they are supposed to act?

[redqueen]

30. Are you kidding?

You think women behave a certain way because they hear a bunch of jokes?

:eyes:

[VelmaD]

32. No, you obviously didn't get my point...

do women act in cliched ways becasue society tells them over and over that this is the way they should behave?

Same for the cliches we have about men for that matter.

[redqueen]

35. No, I got it alright.

I just find it an unbelievably ... ridiculous... hypothesis.

[VelmaD]

39. So you don't think societal expectations...

mold human behavior?

[redqueen]

45. To some extent, surely.

However, influencing immediate reactions to common sources of frustration? I think not.

[smbolisnch]

47. IT IS A JOKE!

I think everyone is getting a tad dramatic here. This is ridiculous. It is a joke, that by the way, rings true for many of us. Now I know that makes me boring and predictable, or whatever, but so be it.

I have never seen people get so torqued up over something so stupid in my life. We better make sure people quit posting jokes in the lounge, someone might get offended. (way too easily I might add.)

:eyes:

[jukes]

28. because

it's a gross generalization; hence, not funny.

lots of PEOPLE do these things...

EDIT: not really sure whom you're refering to, but: no, not o.k. w/me.

[redqueen]

31. .

[smbolisnch]

27. Sorry, it wasn't.

It wasn't used with those words. It was a simple joke, and not meant to hurt feelings. The bottom line for me is this: I use those words, in those contexts, all the time. So do many women I know and most likely many women on DU.

I don't see what you are getting so bent out of shape about? Please explain?? Especially the call em like you see em part? :shrug:

[jukes]

49. i see this as NO different

than making racial jokes, or ethnic jokes.

this is a sexist joke. that's how i see it, that's how i'm calling it. maybe some aren't 0offended: i am.

[smbolisnch]

57. I have seen

sexist jokes, and racist jokes etc. I seriously would NOT categorize this as one of them. I think it's funny, you don't. Fine. <<<< Yes, I do mean that in the sexist context the joke predicted I would.

You still haven't answered the question about Dave Chappele that someone else asked. I am curious to hear your answer as well. If you have answered it and I missed it, my apologies.

[rbnyc]

9. I agree.

Maybe some people to fit into these gender roles, but I think they're suffering from a kind of cultural illness that's perpetuated by things like this. This really doesn't apply toward folks in my circles.

I swear I do have a sense of humor, but I'm also in favor of cultural evolution.

[Renew Deal]

10. Oversensitive

much?

[jukes]

14. only

on offensive topix. yep, prejudice pisses me right the fuck off.

need further clarification?

[Renew Deal]

25. Whatever

It was a joke. I am not "prejudiced" against women or anyone else. It's a joke. Get over it.

[jukes]

64. probably not

but i'll judge you instead of a classification of people.

feel free to judge me, i can live w/it.

stated my views, wasted enough time on this, & you.

guess i'll go pluck the splinters from my rectum.

[redqueen]

3. Cute!

Should be 'Words angry women use'... I use some of those when I'm not angry and they mean *completely* different things. :)

[Richardo]

5. Great post...

:D

[Angry Girl]

11. You forgot this one

UP YOURS
Up yours.

:-)
Angry Girl
nightweed.com

[StopTheMorans]

12. nice, no one can accuse you of being a hypocrite with your handle

:)

[jukes]

51. apsitively

Angry Girl.

[SmokingJacket]

18. Sexist shit.

Sorry, I don't find tired old cliches funny.

Why perpetuate this crap?

[Renew Deal]

29. Why?

Because it's funny and people enjoy it. It's a good laugh. Get a sense of humor.

[bluedeminredstate]

20. Call me crazy

I think it's funny.
:shrug:

[redqueen]

22. It is

It's only not funny if you have a piece of wood jammed up in your nether regions. ;)

:hi:

[VelmaD]

26. Or it could be not funny if...

you're a woman who doesn't act in any of those ways and is tired of being painted with that broad brush.

[redqueen]

41. And if you are... and you get your panties in a wad over a joke....

then I posit that my claim regarding said wooden apparatus applies.

:hi:

[VelmaD]

46. Would you make the same statement...

if it was an African-American DUer complaining about a similar joke about "words blacks use"? Just curious.

[redqueen]

48. Yes

I gotta ask... does Dave Chappelle offend you this much?

[VelmaD]

50. I don't watch Dave Chappelle...

I don't have cable.

[redqueen]

54. Hmmmm

How about Richard Pryor? Does he tick you off?

Think of ANY black comedian who rags on *stereotypical* black people's behavior... do you get mad at them, too?

Do ANY jokes about stereotypical behavior upset you?

I think your offense-o-meter might be set a little too low.

[VelmaD]

58. Actually I do find those kinds of jokes uncomfortable...

Every time I hear them I think about the elderly black couple who have lived down the street from my parents my entire life and other blacks their age who had to live through the worst of the struggle for civil rights. I always wonder if those comedians would tell those jokes to their grandmother and expect her to find them funny.

[redqueen]

60. Oh good God

[VelmaD]

66. Wow.

What a well thought out and pithy response.

[jukes]

55. not lately

explain how this is different than a racially prejudiced joke, pls.

i've got a sense of humour, albiet, others often don't find me funny. perhaps i shd objectivify selectrd groups to get a laugh...

[redqueen]

59. It is the same

Just like Dave Chappelle and Cedric and Bernie Mac and Steve Harvey make all the time, yet I don't see picket lines outside their shows.

[redqueen]

33. BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

LOVE the warning!

Think it'll help?

Somehow, I doubt it.

[Renew Deal]

34. I doubt it too.

But screw it. The hijackers were out.

[smbolisnch]

36. haha, I'm thinking

It's gonna get this thread locked!

[Renew Deal]

44. I hope not

But lets have a Dr. Dre style brawl if that's what everyone wants.

[smbolisnch]

52. Better be careful there

watch what you say, I believe that's an awfully broad brush you are using to refer to the up coming brawl. :evilgrin:

[VelmaD]

37. I find your "warning" offensive in the extreme...

and you can officially get bent.

Gee someone called feminists hysterical again...like THAT hasn't happened before. :eyes:

[Renew Deal]

40. You should only be offended

if the warning describes you.

[the Princess]

42. Now see

WARNING: all hysterical wanna be femminists should not read further.

You're warning is much more offensive than the actual e-mail.

I didn't think men still thought like this.

Oh listen c'mere - (you spelled feminists wrong)

[arwalden]

43. The Disclaimer/Warning Was The BEST PART!!!!

[FuzzySlippers]

65. No, the disclaimer/warning

was the most offensive part. Hysterical wannabe feminists? Other than that I thought the humor was rather mild.

[bobbobbins]

53. This reminds me of the time

some guy wanted advice cuz his girlfriend was being mean to him...i suggested he bend her over a chair and give it to her good...i got hell for it =(

[Pithlet]

56. You should have put another warning on there.

Warning! I'm about to put a stupid disclaimor in front of my post that is only meant to inflame, and that I think is really clever and funny, but isn't. If you don't like stupid, inflammatory posts, don't read any further.

Just a suggestion.

[bobbobbins]

62. i thought it was funny

humors in the eye of the beholder, get over it. I'm polish, people make polish jokes all the time. I know im not stupid, thats all that matters. If you don't act like the person in the post, just take pride in the fact that you rose above the prejudice

[Bunny]

63. Good one, Pithlet.

:thumbsup:

[Moderator]

67. Locking

The "warning" you posted is flamebait.