Estranged, Christer, W-Voting, Hypocrite Brother

[Modem Butterfly]

E-mail from my brother:

Hi Sis. As you know, Mom and Dad are coming out to our house for Thanksgiving this year. Mom says that she invited you and your live-in roommate Will since you guys live an hour away or so. Mom didn't discuss it with us. Sis, as you know, we're a Christian household and we take Thanksgiving pretty seriously. Even though you never say anything, I know that praying makes you uncomfortable, and it makes me uncomfortable when you don't bow your head with the rest of us. Also, I know how much you and Mom like to talk politics, but we all take that really seriously too and I think it would only embarass my wife and her parents to know that Mom thinks like you do. So we think it's a good idea for you not to come. I know it seems harsh, but it's really for the best. We want to have Christ come in and share our meal and our home, and I'm sure that that would make you uncomforble. I'm sorry this means you'll end up spending Thanksgiving alone. Sorry. Love, -------


Here's my response:

Thank-you for your e-mail. I had the feeling Mom was talking out of turn. You and I haven't seen each other in years and haven't spoken since the last time you got fired.

As an atheist, I do not pray. I believe prayer has no power and consider it a custom, like kissing under the mistletoe for good luck. I am, however, made very uncomfortable when you pray. I remember selling my bike in college so your wife's sister could abort your baby. I remember the last time we saw each other when I had to drive 100 miles to bail you out for shoplifting so your in-laws wouldn't find out you're a theif. When Mom and Dad cashed in much of their retirement to pay for your house and it turned out you lost the money gambling, I remember her calling me at work, crying hysterically. I think about that every month, when Will and I send them money so they can buy food and gas.

You like to say that God judges the person inside, not the person the world see. Well I see exactly what kind of a person you are inside. Every time you look in the mirror, you see it, too. You may have to live with that person, but I don't.

Will and I don't celebrate Thanksgiving as such. We spend the day at a "Feed the Hungry" event, then we have dinner with a group of friends. This hardly qualifies as spending the holiday alone. But I certainly appreciate your concern, in the spirit in which it was intended.

Have a good Thanksgiving. Sis.

[trotsky]

1. What an asshole.

Great response, BTW.

[iamjoy]

2. This Is A Joke...Right?

At least I hope it is.

[Modem Butterfly]

9. I wish

He's a real piece of work. He's a good looking guy who's always slid by on his charm and looks. Unfortunately, he's also an undiagnosed sociopath (okay, maybe that's going too far, but he doesn't seem to have much regard for other people).

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

3. thats just sad.

your brother (if you should even call him that), doesn't even deserve the respone you sent him.

[BigMcLargehuge]

4. Great response!

sheesh... can't pick family huh? Criminy.

[cmf]

5. Wow, he really takes the cake, doesn't he?

It would embarrass his wife and his in-laws to know your mother thinks like you do? Does she know he sent you this email? What a jerk.

Good response.

[Modem Butterfly]

20. His in-laws are very white and very old south

They are the kind of folks who would consider it embarassing to be related to a Democrat. Mom and dad share my political opinions in a big way (especially mom) but they tone it down in front of his in-laws.

I don't want to drag Mom into this any further than she already is- it breaks her heart that we're not close. He's her baby, so she's kind of blind to his faults. I don't want to hurt her. To be frank, I shouldn't be expending even this much emotional energy on it, but I am so fucking pissed right now I have to talk to people who understand where I'm coming from.

[CatBoreal]

6. Yea Gods....

We want Christ to come...??? If Christ is going anywhere it'll probably be at your Feed the Hungry event whether you believe in him or not.

You go girl. Your brother is a twit.

Cam

[RogueTrooper]

7. Athiest, or not Modem

I have a feeling that Christ would more likely be at the Feed the Hungry event with you and Will.

:yourock:

[Bertha Venation]

21. "Christ would more likely be at the Feed the Hungry event" -- absolutely.

eom

[Downtown Hound]

8. Damn, I think you should go just to piss him off

[Modem Butterfly]

11. I did that once

His in-laws are really creepy. It's like they were taken over by the pod people or something. I had to go outside for a cigarette, and I don't even smoke. I actually started that weekend just to get away from them. And since he's the baby of the family, if I say anything, it's my fault for starting shit. Yes, I know, once you're over thirty you need to let sibling rivalry go, but this has been going on for a while now.

[ronnykmarshall]

18. You go Modem!

What a great reponce!

I hope you and your "live-in roomate" have a great turkey day.

I'm sure Christ will have to step out of your brothers house for a smoke as well!

[fwiff]

10. Youch!

And your response, double youch!

I love it how you took the high road...


B-)

[alittlelark]

12. Sounds like a typical fundie hypocrite

Sad that he's your brother, sounds like you gave him quite a few chances - he deserves no more.

Your Thanksgiving will be much more spiritual than he has the ability to envision or experience.

[one_true_leroy]

13. I'm sorry you have to be in that position...

How tragic that your brother would use Jesus to divide a family.

Your reply very much reveals him to be a hypocrite... of the worst kind.
You should also consider e-mailing it to his in-laws, since he's so worried what they would think of you. It might do them a favor to know what their daughter has gotten into.

Can your mother have TWO T-Day meals (or post T-Day)?

I may have to work through T-Day... so I'll be around :hug:

[Modem Butterfly]

24. I appreciate it.

His in-laws will find out who he really is soon enough.

He has a new baby, so Mom and Dad definitely want to maximize their granddaughter time. That's cool- we spent a week together over the summer. Will's mom has been sick and work has been kicking both our butts, so this will be a nice, long weekend to spend together.

[pk_du]

14. Now THATS a reply

to be reeeallly proud of....good on ya!

[rockymountaindem]

15. That was a very appropriate response.

I think you did the right thing and you're certainly ahead of him in the morality game. I'm sure all those hungry people really appreciate your help, and a hell of a lot more than your brother appreciates your love (or what love you used to have, if you don't have any left).

Even though you don't believe in God, I think that a loving and peaceful God such as I believe in would rather have the whole world populated with righteous non-belivers such as you than with hypocritical believers such as your brother. I think God is disappointed in people such as that (and I know some myself).

I grew up as the only Jew in my circle of friends. The rest were divided into a few different groups: atheists/agnostics, real Christians (those who practice what they preach and actually demonstrate love for others), and fundies (who I actually am still friends with). I think the relationships between myself and the real Christians were the best because we had the most in common.

Again, I think it is more to God to have 1 non-beliver who enriches the world such as you than 10 false belivers such as your brother.

[Aiptasia]

16. I feel good/bad for you

Torn that your family members have to be estranged hypocrites like that, and happy for you that you live a sane life where you are free to think for yourself.

And when did Thanksgiving become a religious holiday, anyway? Did I miss the meeting?

Perhaps you need to point out to these morons that Thanksgiving was a chance for the pilgrims to give thanks to the local indian population for helping them NOT STARVE TO DEATH!

What if those indians (heathens, mind you) decided to have the same attitude your brother has? Some puritan christians might have discovered cannibalism cooking that winter.

Forgive me for going off on a rant, but the level of brainwashing being imposed by this latest round of religious revivalism is scaring the cranberry stuffing out of me.

Oh, and if you need a table, you're welcome to share ours. There was a time when this was considered the christian thing to do.

[skygazer]

17. Man, you can pick your friends

but you can't pick your family. What a flaming hypocrite! Probably figures none of that stuff you mentioned matters because he's "saved".

Doesn't sound like it would have been much fun anyway, that's for sure. Sorry you got stuck with such a loser for a relative.

[Bertha Venation]

19. MB, you so totally rock.

You just made my day (and my sister's day, too). Thank you for posting this!

I am sorry your brother is so lousy to you and your parents.

[Coyote_Bandit]

22. Good for You

A spade should be called a spade after all.

I too am not looking forward to the holidays. No problem with the parents as we have common political and religious beliefs. But my fundie brother and sister-in-law are hosting Thanksgiving and inviting her Baptist minister parents and seminary student sister. My sister-in-law miscarried very early in pregnancy several months ago. We have all been informed that as part of our Thanksgiving celebration we are going to go spend some time at the cemetery where a commemorative tree was planted even though there was no fetus to bury and even though we will all be in the area for at least a week and could easily have scheduled this separately. I sincerely understand the need to grieve. It is hard for me to fathom that being thankful and grieving such a loss are mutually compatible attitudes and emotions than can be fully experienced in the same few hours. Thanksgiving has to be my favorite holiday and I really feel like I will not celebrate it with my family this year - even though we will be together.

[LincolnMcGrath]

23. Does his wife know about the abortion?

Any chance the wife or family will see this email?

[Modem Butterfly]

26. That was two wives ago, actually

And I don't think she's very web-savvy. She's barely old enough to drink, and kind of prides herself on being uninformed on a lot of things.

[UdoKier]

25. Fantastic response.

If your brother is really like that, you have my sympathy.

Why is it that piety and hypocrisy always seem to go hand in hand?

I would not have been able to write such a cool, levelheaded response. My compliments on not unloading with a bunch of curse words on him.

[Modem Butterfly]

27. You should have read my rough draft

I've been working on that since 7 this morning.

[arwalden]

28. What A Delightfully Droll Response

I wonder if any of it will get through to him?

[Politicub]

29. Your response is amazing.

WTG!

[Bunny]

30. He got his wife's sister pregnant?

And you had to sell YOUR bike to pay for the abortion? Wow. He is seriously f-ed up. Your response was great, BTW.

[Modem Butterfly]

35. He was right out of high school and going into the military at the time

Since he already had a baby with his first wife, I didn't want him to mess things up there, so I helped him out. Well, totally enabled him is more like it. The marriage ended after only about a year or so, but I don't think the sister ever told.

My parents didn't give him their retirement to buy a house, but to put a down payment on one. His mother-in-laws parents died and he and his wife got their house as a wedding present. He says that it was after he lost our parent's money betting but I think he went betting because he knew he had the house. He sold our folks a line about how he was trying to get a bigger down payment.

Thanks for the response. It's really cathartic to hear that other people think he's a loser, too.

[MsAnthropy]

31. Ain't family GRAND?!

I've got one of those brothers, too! There's no such thing as a rational discussion with them but your letter was wonderful, right on the mark. Aren't they a TRIP? I loved the line about having Christ come in and share the meal. I hope he helps with the damn dishes! Since when has Thanksgiving become a Christian holiday? I thought it was a national (secular) holiday! Those Christians have to ruin everything.

Thank goodness for friends, the family we choose for ourselves!

[progmom]

32. You so totally rock.

That's all. Thanks for sharing this with us. And for working the "Feed The Hungry" event!!

:toast: :yourock:

[Sabriel]

33. There'll be more than one turkey at that table

Thanks, Modem, for making my brother look moderate. Egad.

[Arkana]

34. What a bastard

It's a good thing my uncle and aunt are raging liberals, much like the rest of my family. Sorry about your asshole brother.

[MountainLaurel]

36. Bra-fucking-vo!

I need to send this to my friend who will have to deal with his fundie uncle at the T-giving table -- there are similar issues with the uncle -- used a retirement account to buy his way out of jail when he got caught with a shitload of coke.

Edited to add: PLEASE let us know what his response is, if he can manage one.

[Dora]

37. At least you know what you have to be thankful for

It's small consolation, but your brother and his ilk are suffering more than we can ever imagine.

At least you know where the love is in your life, and where to find the peace you need.

Have a very happy Thanksgiving.

[caduceus]

38. Is this real?

I don't mean to belittle your family life, but I showed this to a friend of mine at work, and he refuses to believe it is real. He says the lines are too convenient to be real. I don't know how you can prove it to him. Just asking.

I have extremists in my family also, including myself, so I believe it to be true.

[Modem Butterfly]

39. I'm not sure what lines are too convenient.

But unfortunately, it's real. Beyond that, I don't know what to tell you.

[caduceus]

40. My Grandmother often told me,

"Truth is stranger than fiction."

[warrens]

41. You are a goddess

That was beautiful.

[GreenPartyVoter]

42. *hugs* Hard to deal with, I know

-----------------------------------
Would Jesus love a liberal? You bet!
http://timeforachange.bluelemur.com/

[jukes]

43. *SMOTE*

his fundy ass! gud job, "Sis"!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

44. And therein lies the EVIL of the entire "saved/born-again" thing

The most despicable sociopaths have the PERFECT excuse to become socially acceptable. See also: Dubya, George.