I am the very model of a partisan Republican

[mac56]

(Cleaning out old files. Found something I wrote and posted about a year and a half ago. Offering it up again for your dining and dancing pleasure.)

I am the very model of a partisan Republican.
I whine about my taxes much more loudly than the public can.
I know about Bill Clinton and can dish the dirt historical
From Gennifer to Monica, in order categorical.
I praise the war on terror in a manner of tautology.
I love deregulation, both of media and ecology.
I fawn on right-wing pundits to the level of insanity---
With many cheerful facts about Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity.

For my theocratic yearnings gave John Ashcroft the authority
To ban the law’s protection from each lib’ral and minority.
But since I can afford to live much better than the public can
I am the very model of a partisan Republican.

[procrastinator]

1. Now you'll have that tune going through mind

for the rest of the day!!!!!!!!!!


(Ever heard Tom Lehrer's rendition of "The Elements") ?

:-)

[realisticphish]

6. lol

i love that one


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[yellowdogintexas]

2. Now I want to go watch "Topsy Turvy"

[Droopy]

3. Very nice, mac56

Do you write a lot? If not you should. You've got the knack.

[mac56]

7. thanks

(blushes, grinds toe into carpet...)

I'm a tech writer by trade, but don't usually get to write fun stuff.

[Droopy]

8. I was thinking about going into tech writing when I was in college

But I, was; really bad: with grammar, rules. And I just, couldn't seem to; get things sorted, out. ;)

[mac56]

9. Never too late.

No matter how bad you may be with grammar rules, you're light years ahead of most engineers. And God love them for it. The rules they are used to following keep bridges from falling down.

Also: learn to write an index, and you'll have a ready income stream.

[mcscajun]

4. Thoroughly priceless!

Thanks for posting this. :)

[StClone]

5. I remember it!

Good stuff too close to home though! :-)

[hollywood926]

10. That's really cute. Thanks for the chuckle. :-)

[porkrind]

11. From Kuro5hin, but works for Republicans...

I am the very model of a K5 personality.
I intersperse obscenity with tedious banality.
Usernames I have plenty of, both genuine and ghosted too,
On all the countless stories that my drivel is crapflooded to.
Your bandwidth I will fritter with my whining and my snivelling,
And you're the one who pays the bill, downloading all my drivelling.
My enemies are numerous, and no-one would be blaming you
For cracking my head open after I've been rudely flaming you.

I hate to lose an argument (by now I should be used to it).
I wouldn't know a valid point if I was introduced to it.
My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia,
Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.
The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery,
Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery.
I say I'm frank and forthright, but that's merely lies and vanity,
The gibberings of one who's at the limits of his sanity.

If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to;
If only Mom could find a circus freak-show she could sell me to;
If I go off to Zanzibar to paint the local scenery;
If I lose all my fingers in a mishap with machinery;
If I survive to twenty, which is somewhat problematical;
If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical;
If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate;
Would I still be the loathsome and objectionable punk you hate?

But while I have this tiresome urge to prance around and show my face,
It simply isn't safe for normal people here in cyberspace.
To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity
Would be a fitting punishment for my egocentricity.
I always have the last word; so, with uttermost finality,
That's all from me, the model of a K5 personality.