Now..sex..Sex..SEX...Where were we?

[jus_the_facts]

:evilgrin:



Well, had I got as far as the penis entering the vagina?

Well had I done foreplay?


Headmaster: Well, as we all know about foreplay no doubt you can

tell me what the purpose of foreplay is... Biggs.



Biggs: Don't know, sorry sir.



Headmaster: Carter.



Carter: Er... was it taking your clothes off, sir?



Headmaster: And after that?



Wymer: Putting them on the lower peg sir?







Headmaster: The purpose of foreplay is to cause the vagina to

lubricate so that the penis can penetrate more easily.



Watson: Could we have a window open please sir?



Headmaster: Yes... Harris will you?... And, of course, to cause the

man's penis to erect and har...den. Now, did I do vaginal

juices last week oh do pay attention Wadsworth, I know it's

Friday afternoon oh watching the football are you boy - right

move over there. I'm warning you I may decide to set an

exam this term.



Pupils: Oh sir...



Headmaster: So just listen... now did I or did I not do vaginal

juices?



Pupils: Yes sir.



Headmaster: Name two ways of getting them flowing, Watson.



Watson: Rubbing the clitoris, sir.



Headmaster: What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hm? Why not start her

off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight

for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.



Wymer: Suck the nipple, sir.



Headmaster: Good. Good. Good, well done, Wymer.



Duckworth: Stroking the thighs, sir.



Headmaster: Yes, I suppose so.



Another: Bite the neck.



Headmaster: Good. Nibbling the ear. Kneading the buttocks, and so

on and so forth. So we have all these possibilities before we

stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.



Watson: Yes sir. Sorry sir.



Headmaster: All these form of stimulation can now take place.







... And of course tongueing will give you the best idea of how

the juices are coming along. Helen... Now penetration

and coitus, that is to say intercourse up to and including

orgasm.



http://www.intriguing.com/mp/meaningoflife.asp

[Mick Knox]

1. LOL thats a great scene

to bad will be locked.. but funny anyway

[jus_the_facts]

7. I SWEAR....I posted this BEFORE I read Skinner's thread.....

.....just watched this again the other night and this scene cracks me UP....heh the whole movie does but I thought this particular scene would be an eye catcher in here....then low and behold...I'm a dissenter!! :evilgrin:

[Toby109]

9. Weird

I just watched this too. Now, can I have your liver?

[jus_the_facts]

10. ....."....but...but....I'M USING IT!!!"

:D

......this movie is THE FUNNIEST COMEDY EVER MADE...IMHO!! Because it's soooooooooo spot ON!! :thumbsup:

[jeff30997]

2. Hehehe...

I love that movie.Remember the fat barfing Guy in the restaurant ?

[jus_the_facts]

4. OH SHIT....it's MR. CREOSOTE!!!!

[pk_du]

6. Eh weffer theen ment Sir?

..go one , just wan?

[bloodyjack]

3. "suck the nipple, sir"

[flvegan]

5. And then he mounts his good woman like so...

That scene is a classic. Python...gotta love it.

[zbdent]

8. This man has to be listed as one of the true greats of comedy

if only in film, theatre, and TV.

If not on "standup".

I would watch a half hour film of him staring at a rock.

[jus_the_facts]

11. I concur.....

.....started watchin' MP's Flyin' Circus on PBS in elementary school!!! :D :D

[zbdent]

13. I was looking through the TV listings around age 10 or so and saw

a listing for a "Flying Circus". Now, I imagined airplanes or stuff.

So, I tune in on the local PBS station.

I believe that was the exact moment I earned my truly warped sense of humor . . .

The man could probably make me laugh reading a eulogy for my mother . . .

[jdots]

12. every sperm is sacred

all thier stuff comes true..

[jus_the_facts]

14. ....IF A SPERM IS WAAASTED.....GOD GETS QUITE IIIIRAAAATE!"

:7

[Moderator]

15. Locking

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=2025683&mesg_id=2025683