Ok, so what do I do?

[warrens]

I met this Asian woman on the Kerry campaign who is pretty hot and a lot of fun. After a couple of dates it turns out she is TOTALLY HOMOPHOBIC. I mean, she suspects EVERY GUY of being gay and really thinks it is sick.

I like her and all, but is this some sort of ethnic thing or something really sick? I told her a long time ago that two of my best friends are gay, but when I was younger I was, um, cute, and got hit on all the time, which makes me understand her attitude. She gets hit on by women a lot.

Color me confused. I would think someone who is a minority, and a VERY SMALL MINORITY (she is Burmese), would have some sympathy for other minorities.

And no, after seeing the magic rat travesty, she does not smoke. I do. She is willing to overlook that.

[BoX o BooX]

1. Do whatever you have to do to please her.

I heard Burmese chicks totally put out.

[Technowitch]

2. It's probably mainly her upbringing

Nevertheless, a bigot is a bigot, even if she's 'hot and a lot of fun'.

I know what I'd do, and it wouldn't be "keep seeing this person".

'Course, I'm a girl and this friend of yours hates gay people -- so I'd want nothing to do with her anyway. ;)

[nofurylike]

3. "which makes me understand her attitude"

"she suspects EVERY GUY of being gay and really thinks it is sick."

because you got hit on?

how many times have you hit on others?

how often is she hit on by men? does she think het men are "sick"?
and you?


"sick" when it's same sex?


please hear yourself.



bye

[Lex]

6. Seriously. I agree.

And I totally disbelieve straight chicks who say they get hit on by women all the time.

Where is she hanging out in order for that to happen, a lesbian bar?

IMHO, lesbians don't just go around hitting on other women indiscriminately.

[nofurylike]

9. thank you, Lex. i agree with what you added, too. n/t

[Cadence]

11. Welllllll

I have been hit on three times by women and I'm not gay nor do I even remotely have that vibe, I'm a very girlie girl. AND I've never been to a gay bar. One time it happened at just a regular bar I noticed this really pretty brunette girl across the bar staring at me a lot....but I thought it was because maybe I knew her from college or something. Later that night she came up to me and hit on me. I was shocked! Never would have guessed. Another time was by my very butch economics teacher in college.

It happens not a TON... 3 times in ten years for me..but still it happens.
:shrug:

[nofurylike]

14. may i ask: compared to how many times in ten years by men?

i believe three times in ten years would be called negligible, no?

which seems to be about what Lex had said, versus saying it never happens.

moreover, regardless how often it happens, why is it perceived any differently than the ways hets get acquainted? - enough so by warrens, to cause him to "understand her attitude": "sick."


peace

[Cadence]

18. I don't know lately at the rate I'm going....

3 times in ten years might be pretty darn good. I'm kidding. I'm not interested in dating right now so it's good. But compared to the number of men....yeah the number of men would be a LOT more but it does happen was all I was saying.

I'm not sure I understand the second part of what you said.
I perceive those incidents differently I guess because it's just not my sexual orientation so my normal bar is having that type of interaction with men. Those experiences outside the "what I'm used to" stood out a little more but I don't judge the person that did it because it IS their orientation. It just is what it is.
I think only she can help Warrens understand her attitude. Probably just lack of understanding or exposure. Who knows.

[nofurylike]

20. thank you for replying. no one said it never happens.

and so what if it happened all the time, as between hets?

but warrens said he could understand her attitude ("sick"), having been hit on by men.....


thank you for your candor, though. sounds to me like you take it all in stride.


peace!

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

4. I don't trust girls who are homophobic.......

.......I always think it must be a test......I can't imagine any well rounded girl not having a gay guy friend.

[warrens]

5. yeah, despite the rude responses above

Why would a woman be threatened by gay guys? And to the above, did you perhaps notice I HAVE GAY FRIENDS? Jesus.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

7. Dude.......

.....give her the old one/two then dump her. Then she'll hate ALL guys........

;)

[nofurylike]

12. "which makes me understand her attitude" - quote

you.

[Cadence]

13. I don't know did she

have an experience where she thought she was in love only to find out the guy was gay and she felt rejected? That type of thing maybe?

[nofurylike]

19. "rude"? why were YOU threatened by men "hitting on" you?

some of your best friends are gay?

[Whoa_Nelly]

8. If your issue with her bothers you

and apparently this one issue does..
then, ditch her....don't waste your time. :party: On!

[HEyHEY]

10. Hey man, a little homophobic is bearable

But totally yakking about it all the time is annoying. Move on.

[UdoKier]

15. Burma (Myanmar) has an ultra-repressive military government.

There may be a connection there.

Not all Asians are that homophobic (though most find the idea of gay sex acts pretty distasteful). Also, in Asia, most openly gay men dress and act VERY feminine, if not in full drag. Their societies seem to accept it more that way. Most American gay men aren't all THAT femme, and some are pretty manly, but still very openly gay. I think that screws with their sensibilities more. Maybe that's why some Asian girls might think every guy is gay here. It's not as easy to tell as in her homeland...

[jdots]

16. call me a putz but i think phobias are attention getting...

devices to some extent and can grow worse....RUN fast !

[RoyGBiv]

17. Run away ...

Quickly.

Obviously I have very few details and don't really know this person, but just the outline you presented indicates a pattern of behavior, and it's not a good one.

Willing to look past your smoking? Yeah ... today.