What WIMPS Drive VS what REAL men drive

[noahmijo]

What WIMPS drive



Take a look at this ugly hunk a shit. What kinda poser punk drives this on a regular highway? someone who is obviously scared shitless of gettin a little wind in their finely combed hair? fraid someone's gonna take your piece of the road there Calvin? Ohhh you're a big tough soldier in your wannabe assault vehicle are ya? why isn't your vehicle strapped with a 50 cal with your piddly ass in it somewhere in Iraq? Because of punk ass frat boys like you this vehicle which used to symbolize military strength on the ground has now become a symbol for lame assed red faced red voting wannabe badasses who'd break into cold sweat if someone wearing leather so much as scowled at ya. Seriously you think this vehicle represents an outdoorsman? a man who uses a horse for transporation THAT'S an outdoorsman, you're nothin but a little cell who cowers in fear in his big metal box while the rest of us face the real world head on fearing nothing not even fear itself.

What REAL men drive:



Now THIS is a man's ride right here. No reinforced anything, no barriers between person and the world, total freedom at its finest. You try getting the same rush while blasting down the freeway at breakneck speeds in a hummer. Sorry you're not getting your air conditioning or your heater in this baby. You don't get to play your Christian Rock. The world is your soundtrack. You're gonna hear every surrounding engine, every manmade and nature made noise and you're gonna love it. You're gonna feel the cold blast and the heat wave directly in your face. You are gonna be forced to adapt to the movements of others on this machine. Pull up next to a hummer in one of these and watch the punk driver squirm as you unleash the sound of illegally loud pipes which will no doubt cause the hummer driver to raise the electronic windows cause his fragile little ears just can't take it. It interferes with his Clint Black too much.

The greatest beauty? I bet by the time you gotta make a $60 gas stop, I'd still be cruising for hours.

And no a little rain does not scare me.


So just outta curiosity what famous person drives a hummer?

aahhh none other than the girlie man himself:



And what person happens to drive the very Harley Davidson Wide Glyde pictured above?





The same kind of guy who fought and bled for his country.

The same kind of guy you bastard un-American traitor sons a bitches who I spit on that would do everything you could to bring a good brave man down.

So here's to you you Republican hummer driving feebs. Fuck you, fuck your beliefs, fuck what you think you know about us liberals who you think are all spineless and wimpy.

We got more cajones in our pinkies than you'll ever hope to have no matter how many miles you put on that piece of shit, 9 mpg vehicle you drive.

*Disclaimer* This is not meant to bring anyone who drives normal cars or even normal SUV's who drive them because you got 4 kids to cram into a vehicle everyday or you live in areas that require 4-wheel drive. This was just a regular "fuck you" rant to people who drive hummers and think they're johnny badass of the road.

Also I respect bikers of ALL flavors not just the Harley ones. I happen to also ride a Honda Valkyrie (1520 cc) and lemme tell ya NO Harley owner disrespects it.

[DeepGreen]

1. Real men don't need symbols!

I have run into too many bomb/bomb/bomb saddamers on bikes. And, on the other side to many driving gas guzzling SUVs that think their
!@#$ doesn't stink!

[Krs216]

2. That Wideglide is a little better than a Honda, but

Real men ride hardtails, like this Rigid Knucklehead.

[Blue_Tires]

3. i'll take an 06 corvette, please

[vpigrad]

11. A large, wasteful V-8?

Talk about wasteful! Why not want something more responsible? You're not being a very good role-model.

[CanuckAmok]

14. spliiting hairs...

Peak Oil is coming. whether we hit it in three years at 5MPG, or 30 years at 50MPG, matters not.

Either you burn wasteful fossil fuels, or you don't. No grey area there.

[name not needed]

18. Like what?

Hey! You can't own a corvette! You might make the guy driving this shitbox cry!

[Blue_Tires]

28. it actually gets decent mileage for a V8

better than many sixes, and even better than some fours...easily the most efficient high-performance V8 in the world

[DrWeird]

Ah, corvettes.

Nope, wimpy men with mid-life crises don't drive those. Nosiree.

[Placebo]

4. Hey, I know people who own Hummers...

they're cool guys.

[Ron Green]

5. A real man would drive a human-powered bike, not one where you just

dial on the power and a bunch of Saudi oil moves your lazy ass down the road.

;)

[noahmijo]

8. That's a good point and I'll migrate to a human powered bike the day

My boss lets me be 5 hours late for work. Deal?

[Ron Green]

9. Yeah, me too. Back in the day I used to commute 16 miles each way on my

racing bike, but now I'm not as tough. My little car gets 55 mpg, though, which compares pretty well with a big motorcycle.

[CanuckAmok]

10. Luxury!

When I was a lad, my bicycle was made out of broken glass and iodine, and I had to leave for work every day, 26 hours before my shift started....

[Ron Green]

12. LOL - Yeah, I think I remember passing you and feeling bad about it some

mornings. But feeling pretty good about it others.

[noahmijo]

13. Oh yea well back in my day we had to crawl!! through broken glass!

That was the law back in THOSE DAYS son! they made us crawl on our hands and knees through snow and glass with no pads for 50 miles! no THAT'S pain baby!

[vpigrad]

15. Sigh

> My boss lets me be 5 hours late for work.

Then you should be a responsible adult and move closer to work. I'm old enough to remember when the vast majority of people were mature enough to do so. Instead now we have people regularly driving 30 miles or more each way to work just so they can afford to buy a slightly larger house. That's an example of the type of senseless irresponsible things that are destroying the environment.

[name not needed]

22. Did you ever think not everybody can be as perfect as you?

We can't all afford to move just so we can bike to work, asshole.

[Joe Chi Minh]

6. Wow.

That's some fortune you've told, there!

I was particularly taken with: "The same kind of guy you bastard un-American traitor sons a bitches who I spit on that would do everything you could to bring a good brave man down".

That's not just a firmly-held conviction ; it's red blood raging! Go noahmijo!

[CanuckAmok]

7. Bah. Harley: Manufactured Rebellion (tm)

I only ever see aged brokers and the occasional Hells' Angel on them. I aw one last year with the vanity plate "CPA BYK"

I'm sorry, but a freeflow-piped Harley offends me fare more than any SUV ever will. I think anyone caught blowing the pipes out on his bike should have it confiscated, and auctioned to pay for hearing aids for people who live on busy streets.

If I had to pick a 'real man's' bike, it would be this one:



Classy and fast, and built to last... Yhe Bonneville.

[ilovenicepeople]

27. Nice bike CA

Myself if I even for some strange reason wanted to pretend that others thought of me as a "real" man I would probably get a Lada Niva 4+4.The best damn 4+4 that "real" men love to hate.

[CanuckAmok]

29. The Niva is great!

Ever see that garage just north of Duncan where the guy has about six of them?

[ilovenicepeople]

30. I have been told of that place it's on the highway at the

intersection to go to Lake Cowichan? The ultimate bush party vehicle from my highschool years.:party: :toast: :beer: :smoke: :puke: :hangover:

[ScrewyRabbit]

16. International Men of Mystery drive Mini Coopers

eom

[PittPoliSci]

25. a friend of mine just got a mini

from someone who isn't especially fond of small vehicles, i was rather impressed with it. wouldn't ever buy one, but still, it's a very nice car.

[bloodyjack]

17. Real men drive old, unreliable diesel imports

At least that's what I keep telling myself

Real men like taking life slowly, under an overpass

[noahmijo]

19. That's balls right there

You get my vote for manly operator.

[Medium Baby Jesus]

20. Valk rider here too

Gotta love the flat six. My auto is an RX-8 rotary. Talk about a gas hog!

[tjdee]

21. Adrien Brody drives a Hummer...

He just needs someone to talk to him about it very nicely. :loveya:

[KG]

23. real men drive green pick-ups

like mine.

[grace0418]

24. I don't know about all this "real men" stuff but I am much more

attracted to a man who doesn't give a shit about what he's driving as long as it's reliable, has good gas mileage, and isn't the size of a small planet. I'd much rather he spend his time thinking about more important things. What is it with guys who think driving around in a Hummer makes them so damn irresistable? Every time I see a guy getting out of a Hummer I just want to say to him "Wow, nice ride, I didn't think they *made* penises *that* small!"

[Shoeempress]

26. Real Women also love Hogs. Mine's a 91 Softail. And the Hummer

thing, Just don't get why anyone would drive a car named after a BJ.