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and show why it is untrue:
YOU MIGHT BE A DEMOCRAT IF...
by Steven Plaut
* You feel Fidelity means not cheating on your mistress.
Nope, I don't feel fidelity means not cheating on your mistress. And my husband agrees. Fidelity is being faithful to your spouse. So zero points on that.
* You think that pornography corrupts women, but find nothing wrong
with a 50 year old president seducing a 21 year old intern.
I don't necessarily think pornography corrupts women and I'm pretty clear on the concept of marital infidelity being wrong. I just tend to resent it when the government spends MILLIONS of dollars and a lot of the government's time witchhunting what amounts to a private matter between an elected official, his spouse, and his God.
* You cry every May 4th over the four people killed at Kent State, but have never been to the Vietnam Memorial.
I've never cried over the Kent State killings (in fact, I didn't even know the date, but this guy did....could HE be a Democrat?) but, while I haven't been to the Vietnam Memorial (sorry, airfare and hotels ARE expensive), I've cried plenty over the death and destruction of the Vietnam War.
* Along the same lines, "Four Dead in OHIO" by Neil Young gives you
goosebumps, but "19" by Paul Hardcastle means nothing to you.
I've never heard of "19" or Paul Hardcastle and "Four Dead in Ohio" doesn't give me goosebumps.
* You say shows like "Leave It to Beaver" are out of touch with America today, while you flip to your soap opera.
My, my, my. What would this guy do when confronted with a Democrat who doesn't watch TV at all? How in the world would he stereotype me?
* You know of the stockpile of biological weapons in Iraq, but think
that the US is wrong for not signing the land mines treaty.
Well, erm, first of all, no stockpile of biological weapons exist in Iraq, and they didn't exist there when we invaded and attacked that country on March 19, 2003. And yes, I do think the US was wrong for not signing the land mines treaty. Seems you have to believe the US needs to act like a greedy ass selfish bullying bastard to be a Republican.
* You want to know why we don't offer schooling in prisons (hey, isn't that what public schools are for).
This Democrat thinks you either put money into schools or you build bigger prisions. And every Republican I know is in favor of building bigger prisons and NOT funding public schools. Hmmmmm.
* You think those stupid ribbons actually ac! complish something.
What ribbons? I knew it. It was inevitable, he is starting to become completely incoherent. The only ribbons I see are magnetic ones (you know, so you can take them off) on the backs of cars.
* You tout the NAACP, but criticize anyone referring to a black man as a "colored person."
Well I've never "touted" the NAACP. And I've not heard anyone call a black man a "colored person," so I guess they lose out on this one, too.
* You think a mother has a right to kill an innocent 5 month fetus
because her pregnancy would interfere with her career, but feel we shouldn't put to death the man who raped and murdered 14 women.
What a sensationalistic and totally untrue example. This guy needs to do a bit of basic research--a woman cannot have an abortion at five months. Unless her life is in danger. Or did bush change that, too? I don't feel the state has the right to engage in murder anymore than the criminal does. Remember "Thou Shalt Not Kill?" Republicans care about life as long as it's an embryo and not a sick child of low-income working parents or an Iraqi child.
* You feel that banning smoking in public indoor places limits your
constitutional rights.
Heh? This one doesn't even make any sense. Is he for it or against it? Hard to tell. I'm really quite neutral on the smoking indoors thing. Having chronic bronchitis means I can't really be around cigarette smoke, but if a place allows it inside, I simply won't go there. Real simple.
* You feel that being convicted of treason is an infringement on your first amendment rights.
This needs just a wee bit more information. Why was the person convicted of treason? One thing's for sure: this Democrat knows you can't make snap judgements from one sentence soundbites, something the republican author doesn't seem to realize.
* You honestly feel that alcoholics deserve social security disability benefits.
Where did THIS come from? Are they receiving SSD BECAUSE of their alcoholism? I haven't heard of that. And I wouldn't support SSD payments solely because of alcoholism. So there goes THAT theory.
* You outwardly said "I would have voted for Elizabeth Dole" knowing
darn well you wouldn't have because she is a Republican.
LOL!!! I've never in my LIFE said I would vote for Elizabeth Dole. And just for the record, I wouldn't vote for her. Am I saying it loudly enough for this guy? I WOULDN'T VOTE FOR ELIZABETH DOLE! EVER! But then, I've never voted for a republican, so that shouldn't be a big shocker to anyone who knows me.
* You think it is ok for a President to commit perjury on his sex life, but criticize Dan Quayle for spelling potato/potatoe wrong.
HA! Let's examine this, shall we? Did Quayle undergo months and months of investigation for misspelling a word? Did he have to give sworn testimony? Etc etc etc. This guy is comparing apples to Cadillacs. Again, makes no sense. Just shows what big crybabies republicans are. They can SURE dish it out, but they can't take it.
* You stood on a soapbox demanding that Anita Hill be heard, but want Paula Jones' accusations to be swept under the rug.
Wasn't involved in either of those things. I'd have to know more about most cases to say. But no, I don't have such blind allegiance to a party or person that I automatically think anything that looks bad for "my guy" needs to be swept under the rug. I leave that to republicans (recent repeal of the 1993 congressional ethics rule by GOP caucus in the House is a GREAT example of this).
* You think the guy who drops out of High School and builds your jeep deserves more money than the doctor who went to college for 10 years and saves your kids life.
I'm really wondering where this guy gets these things. Ohhhh! Nevermind, it's an anti-union rant! Gotcha. Yeah, I believe in organized labor and collective bargaining and I damn sure am not going to apologize OR back down from that belief. Unions gave ALL of us benefits we enjoy every single day, but guys like this are the first in line to tear them down.
* You sang along to "Give Peace a Chance" during the Gulf War.
Oh it's an anti-peace person. Which means he must be pro-war. For the record, I never sang that song. But I do believe in peace. Guess he doesn't.
* You've filed for unemployment within two weeks of getting out of high school.
LMAO!!! No, I was moving to go to college.
* You went to Woodstock II and felt that it was a significant
historical event, changing the way our country thinks.
Eh? When was Woodstock II?
* You own something that says, "Dukakis for President," and still
display it.
Nope.
* You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on, "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so..."
Nope. In fact, I hear more republicans arguing that way...
* You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
Oh now YES! He finally found one! I do support the ACLU and ironically, if this guy's rights were to be infringed upon, if HE called the ACLU, they'd be there defending him to the TEETH in a heartbeat. Funny how that works.
* You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
Ah someone who hates the environment too. Lovely. What DOES this guy like, anyway?
* You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
Can't say that I have, dude, sorry.
* You've ever argued that with just one more year of welfare that
person will turn it around and get off drugs.
I argue that corporate welfare costs us a hell of a lot more than welfare for people, and corporations don't need it. Corporations pay a vulgarly low tax rate, but that seems to be A-OK with repukes like this guy. Welfare fraud accounts for less than one-quarter of one percent of the budget (IF that much), corporate welfare costs BILLIONS every year, but guys like this get their panties in a bunch about the wrong issue. Every. Time.
* You think Lennon was a brilliant social commentator.
Eh. I don't really have an opinion on him.
* You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
LMAO! I don't know anyone who does that! Why would they? What a strange thing to say!
* You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe
does.
Um, do what?
* After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is
undertaxed."
No, not after looking at my paystub. Payroll taxes are pretty high (I think this guy must be, too). But I'd GLADLY pay more in income taxes if I knew that it was going to really help people without health insurance, fully fund schools, and clean our air and water among other things. THAT would be fantastic. But I imagine those are all issues this guy couldn't give a flying shit about.
Is that all he's got? He got ONE thing right on that whole list about me, and I'm a true-blue Democrat.
So much for that!
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