Oh, yes, my pretty ones…It’s time for a Monday night DU…CONFESSIONS

[Itascapark]

*song “Talking In Your Sleep” is playing, voice like Barry White*

Atop the virtual (for the Doctor is in Vegas) Paramount Building in Times Square, and broadcasting across North America, it’s a special Monday night edition of DU…CONFESSIONS!!

I know it’s been well over a year since our last session together, but Dr. Itascapark is here to listen, to console, to renew.

Do you have a secret? A fetish unrevealed? A momentary moral glitch unconfessed?

Unburden yourself to the Doctor…no judgment here, just an ear. So grab a Tab, a Beer, a bottle of Nighttrain…it’s time for DU…CONFESSIONS...

[Worst Username Ever]

1. I have had impure thoughts. n/t

[Itascapark]

3. Relax and tell the Doctor ALL...

}(

[Hillaryin08]

57. I googled an old boyfriend

and I liked it.

[whodiedandmadeUSgod]

84. I flirted with a guy 10 years younger than me!

Met him working with the DFL and he was cute!

[Itascapark]

85. Haven't you heard?

Older women with younger men offend all the right people.:bounce:

[JVS]

2. I faked Bob Denver's death, and I refuse to recant. Here I stand...

I cannot do otherwise!

[Itascapark]

8. And a good fake death it was too

Experimental plane crashes into the ocean...clever.

[JVS]

11. Bob, not John

[Itascapark]

18. The doctor's bad

[skygazer]

4. I touched myself inappropriately

:cry:

[Der Blaue Engel]

9. I touched my elf inappropriately

:dunce:

[skygazer]

20. That sounds like more fun

D'oh! Now I'm coveting your elf! My sins are multiplying like rabbits. :spank:

[Itascapark]

21. As long as the elf consented

Nothing wrong with that...

[Padraig18]

5. I took the Lord's name in vain twice, and I smoked a cigarette

I am soooo ashamed.

;)

[Itascapark]

15. The doctor himself has been

smoking and drinking heavily since the "election"...relax and have a fruit cocktail...

[JVS]

6. I don't like the tone this thead is taking

A bunch of sick perverts and masturbators! Ought to be locked up!

[Sannum]

7. I told a telemarketer who had called me three times in three hours...

to go fuck themselves and never call me again...And I don't regret it.

It was probably the PMS.

[Itascapark]

13. No shame in that

The doctor says they deserve your ire...

[Sannum]

16. They wanted to sell me aluminum siding.

I live in a 1930's era high-rise apartment building. They couldn't imagine why I didn't want siding. I am not a person that you want to cross when I am in a bad mood.

[Left Is Write]

10. I confess.

I confess that I am too boring to have anything of consequence to mention here.

[Itascapark]

25. The Doctor does not like to see anyone so down

How can DU help?

[Left Is Write]

35. Oh, just a bowl of popcorn

and everyone else's confessions should be sufficient.

[Itascapark]

55. With extra butter??

I love extra butter...

[Left Is Write]

90. Sounds good to me!

[mondo joe]

12. I told my neighbor who wanted one I had no eggs, but I had a half dozen

He's too irritating and moochy.

[Itascapark]

28. Share when you want, share when you must

If it makes you happy, not sad.

[bloodyjack]

14. I wear spandex and a cape and fight the unmentionable forces of evil

I also sometimes accidentally say "LOL" in regular conversation

So you see I'm a hit with the wiminz

[Itascapark]

24. mention some...

[bloodyjack]

32. .

[Itascapark]

34. Oh, my!

You are a very...um...creative...and, um...very creative..."Don't you leave me, you fucking bitch..." :silly:

[bloodyjack]

38. So glad to have gotten that off my breasts--I mean, chest.

I'm going to edit the everliving fuck out of those posts now, if you don't mind.

[Q3JR4]

17. I confess.

I've had a bad case of gas for a couple of days (damn refried beans) and no one but me knows it.

[LSparkle]

22. That's what you think

I'm getting a contact high even now ...

[AlCzervik]

19. I lied about my weight on my drivers license

by 10 lbs.

[Itascapark]

26. No, not a lie

That's what you plan to gain/lose...right?

[AlCzervik]

29. Hey...yes, thats the ticket. Thank you!

you are excellent at your work.

[Sannum]

23. I have another!!!

When I was in the first grade, I got in trouble for cutting Lauren Jacobson's hair (which Lauren wanted me to do by the way) and the teacher said that she would call my parents and I would be in trouble. As luck would have it, we went out of town that weekend, and so the teacher could not leave a message, I unplugged the phone before we left so she could not leave a message on our huge 1980's era machine.

NOBODY knows this!!!

[kitkatrose]

27. I wasted my 1000th post in GD.

Foo. :cry:



Oh, yeah, I'm also turning into a perv. :evilgrin:

[Itascapark]

31. About your first point...

Why do you think it was wasted...perhaps it make someelse's day. About your second point: Welcome to the club :+

[kitkatrose]

47. I think most of my (and everyone else's) posts are wasted in GD.

:D It seems like an exercise in futility. you can go check for yourself here, towards the bottom.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x2737873

[RUDUing2]

30. sorry I only play Midnight Confessions

(when I tell all the world that I love you...)

[Itascapark]

33. And I you

at any time of the day or night, sweetlight. :hi:

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

37. I have to go for my yearly womanly exam on Wed. and I'm nervous

as hell. I think I'll take an extra Xanax. Ick!

Now that's personal.

[Itascapark]

42. and a glass of warm milk...

relax and the exam will go fine...keep thinking "healthy" thoughts.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

52. Itascapark, thanks for the advice. I'm lactose intolerant, so I'll drink

some 'Silk' (or as Lewis Black puts it, the non-"Moo Cow F*ck Milk") instead.

[charlyvi]

36. I think my brother's an idiot, Oh Wise One!

He voted for shrub and listens to Rush Limpballs. I am sorely ashamed. How can I repair my family name? Kill him?

[Itascapark]

39. Oh, now that's much too harsh for the Doctor...

Forgive your brother where you can, and keep telling him the truth...perhaps he will see the wickness of his Ditto ways...

[charlyvi]

40. Okay.

Maybe I'll just lie and say I don't know him. Would that be okay?

[Itascapark]

44. Whatever you need to stamp out the darkness

The Doctors parents sound like your brother...Oy!...

[Sabriel]

41. I participated in a gratuitous self-interest thread to reach 1000

Actually, I'm not really sorry about it. Should I confess that, too?

[Itascapark]

46. "You can't always get what you want..."

"But if you try sometimes, you get what you need..." Nothing wrong with a little self-interest now and again.

[Sabriel]

49. That's IT?! For $300 an hour, you quote Mick Jagger? n/t

[Itascapark]

67. It's $400...and no lollypop for you!

[NC_Nurse]

43. I'm drinking heavily on Monday night....

I am SO STRESSED....

I don't care about anyone's problems....I'm over them ALL!

Can you forgive me?
:cry:

[Itascapark]

48. The Doctor is with you every sip of the way my child

Relax and drink less, enjoy what you drink more!

[Baldsicle]

45. I've got the hots for..

Ophra Winfry.
But I'll never admit to it even if torchured.

[Baldsicle]

51. I'm not in love with Ophra

...for her body or her mind....I would just like to have half of her money.
I'm ashamed to admit this.
But I can't help myself.
I've always been very greedy.

[Itascapark]

65. We all have vices...

I WOULD like a free car!!

[Itascapark]

53. Is it the queen of daytime talk

that you really love, or her ability to give away cars? think about it

[Cuban_Liberal]

50. I lusted after my life-partner.

To make matters worse, I actually acted on my lust--- 3 times.

;)

[Itascapark]

60. Just three....

The Doctor says, get it while the getin's good!!

[Cuban_Liberal]

63. Well, just three that night.

We both had school the next day.

;)

[Itascapark]

66. Whoooohoooo...Smokin'

You HOT thang, you...:evilgrin:

[thestatusquo]

54. I LOVE FEET!!!!

I don't know why, i just do.

[Itascapark]

61. There's nothing like a nice pair of feet

attached to a good pair of legs, etc, etc.

[Neoma]

56. I have a phobia of sleeping

being unconscious for a number of hours is not pleasant to me because i like having my brain intact to think,and at night time my weirdest thoughts come around and I'd rather stay up to ..think

that and i cannot remember my dreams and that worries me because dreams are the next best thing to thinking,if i dreamed I'd be able to think what my dreams meant in the morning...

Does this make sense? maybe i just have insomniac /shrug

[Itascapark]

62. Sometimes the Doctor has the same problem

I always try and repeat "I will dream something wonderful tonight." It seems to work well 80% OF THE TIME...I remember my dreams and wake up refreshed.

[Guy Fawkes]

58. I read a little bit of a playboy...

just for the Tech article! Gaah, I'm such a geek!

[Itascapark]

64. Ah, and I get it for the vollyball scores!

:evilgrin:

[Guy Fawkes]

70. no, really.

What, you think I wanted to look at naked women? sicko.

[Itascapark]

72. How silly of me...

course not:dunce:

[SarahB]

59. A doctor in Vegas?

How ironic considering my confessions. :D

[Itascapark]

68. Hmmmm...do tell

the Doctor loves Vegas confessions

[SarahB]

69. Well...

Let's just say you are not the only one who fits that description. The one who fits that description that I know personally I am rather lusting for at the moment. :7

[Itascapark]

71. Will this lust bear your satisfaction, or is "Dr. Vegas"

a character on TV?

[SarahB]

73. not fictional

Just a handsome PhD I'm in a state of mutual, um, admiration with for a bit of time. I believe my satisfaction will happen in the not-too-distant future. Furthermore, so does he. :D

[Itascapark]

75. So, good news then...

We all need some good lovin'...keeps us happy and healthy.

[LincolnMcGrath]

86. Confession Time: I am scared SKITTLES will kick my ass!

:scared:

[achtung_circus]

74. I have lusted in my heart

but more usually somewhat south of that.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

76. I have a fetish unrevealed.

There's a DUer who appears in my dreams occasionally, only when he talks he sounds like Big Dawg. He's usually wearing leather, and I've usually been *very* bad. :evilgrin:

[Itascapark]

77. A DUer in Leather who sounds like Clinton...

I say make your dreams come true!!!!!:pals:

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

78. I don't know what he sounds like IRL.

I've only seen his picture here.

And my dreams won't ever come true because he plays for the other team, if you know what I mean.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

[Itascapark]

80. And yet there are so many of us here that play

for your team...

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

81. True, true.

I shall think about it. I just have whole hours at a time where I can't get his beautiful face out of my mind.... :cry:


(No, I'm not obsessed or a stalker. I said "hours," not "weeks." But really, he's soooooooo achingly beautiful....)


Edit: I'll prove my point. An achingly beautiful gay male DUer. You all already know the object of my crush, don't you? ;-)

[tjdee]

93. No, there are a number of them here.

Reading your posts with interest, as I'm an incredibly nosy person when it comes to who likes who.

:)

But DU's gay men are very cute....the ones I've seen...

[nini]

79. I have nothing to confess..

I'm an O8)


:-)

[Itascapark]

82. The Doctor finds this a little hard to believe

but will give nini, the "angel" the benefit of the doubt.

[nini]

83. ask around..

just be careful who you ask :evilgrin:

[Zomby Woof]

88. I know for a fact

Nini enjoys the special thrill of riding the rails to the North Pole!

[mark414]

87. i'm bombed in the stoned age

stoned in the bomb age? i dont know

[T Bone]

89. I once dropped a water balloon from a height of 7 stories

onto the front windshield of a 1970 Ford Mustang. The windshield looked like it had a Moon Crater in it. The glass was still there, just rather badly shattered and cratered in.

Should I have left a note?

[OldLeftieLawyer]

91. Here's some free legal advice

Yes, you should have left a note.

It should have been friendly and upbeat, asking after ther recipient's health, what kind of day they've had, and how much you've always admired them.

Then you sign it "Oprah Winfrey" and go home.

[Itascapark]

92. Yes, what he said n/t