Tips for keeping kids from getting depressed?

[Dukakis88]

I've been showing my kids a lot of movies lately, because movies are my passion, and I'd like to pass it along to them. However, I've noticed a lot of the time, after the movies, the kids seem down, depressed, sad, scared, what have you. I know the movies aren't the most up-beat, but they are important educational tools, so I don't want to necessarily stop now, if I don't have to. Some of the movies we've watched lately: Silkwood, The Day After, Bambi, Old Yeller, On Golden Pond, Shoah, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Shining, Dr. Strangelove, Mask, The Passion of the Christ, The Elephant Man, The Killing Fields, Kramer vs. Kramer, Breaking the Waves, Watership Down, 1984, and Sophie's Choice. I think the education these films are giving my kids is priceless, though I do admit to having second thoughts when I see them drawing crude little pictures of themselves hanging from trees in nooses, not eating their cereal or lunch and barely touching dinner, staying in bed all weekend long, asking their mother whether they are going to die soon, etc. Can anyone give me some advice on helping the kids deal with the important ideas in these films without becoming grumpy? I'm not going to let these kids bully me into sitting through feel-good trash with these temper tantrums.

[Must_B_Free]

1. Give them legal mood enhancers

And plenty of Jesus, followed by switch whippings when they seem not to be getting the message.

[shraby]

2. How old are the children?

If they are under 13, maybe a little lighter subject matter is in order for them. Some of that is heavy even for a teenager.

[Dukakis88]

4. Seven and nine.

But they are advanced for their age. They are already reading books by themselves. The other day I saw Piper reading a biography of Sylvia Plath on the toilet and it was pretty cute, I must say.

[bloodyjack]

3. wait...you have kids now?

¿¿¿what is going on here???

[Dukakis88]

5. Well, I said that to simplify the issue.

Didn't want to get into the whole thing about them being the neighbor's kids.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

6. You had me going for a second there..

but seriously, when I was still teaching, eighth grade English was THE most depressing subject of the year. First we started off the year with "The Scarlet Ibis." Anyone ever read that short story? Give it a go and keep the kleenex handy.

Then some Edgar Allen Poe just for flat out creep factor.

Then it was off into the land of the Holocaust and the diary of Anne Frank. Fun stuff, that. And eight weeks of it.

Next was literature of the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression and then The Red Badge of Courage, a very realistic Civil War novel. We got to talk about what field hospitals were like back then (including surgeries), what decapitation means and how often they resorted to eating horse meat.

Poor kids. I'd see them coming down the hallway, talking and laughing with their friends, happy and young, and then they'd remember. English next period. Death and Destruction and Let's Write About It.

[LeighAnn]

7. Balance it out with Clockwork Orange?

Roman Holiday, Terms of Endearment, and Splendor in the Grass should also be on your list.

Think of how much fun you'll have watching movies when they get to where they're learning about the birds and the bees! I'd start with Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Porky's. Those films made quite an impression on the teen that I was.

[realisticphish]

8. money, and lots of it

:evilgrin: honestly, i dont know. in my experience, if a kid doesnt want to watch a movie, they WILL NOT watch a movie. just my .02


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[drhilarius]

9. Well, there are films that are good teaching tools that aren't...

all that depressing. Take "Life is Beautiful" for instance. Yes, it is about the holocaust, but beneath that it is about the need for humans to find beauty, and life, in situations that seem the ugliest, most full of death.

It's also important to teach them to do something. The stuff that happens in those movies only happens when people do nothing. Empower them, let them know they can change the world.

Most importantly: there are things that are educational but also beautiful. Take them to an art museum, let them read some e.e. cummings. It's important to illustrate that life, though full of death and nastiness, is also, at times, unbearable beautiful, and that it is something worth preserving, something worth living and fighting for.

I hope I'm not being presumptuous in my suggestions, only I've found that these things work in dealing with young students, and even some of my older, less serious (frivolous, really)friends.

[Tom Kitten]

10. Geesh

I think you need help, you sound like a child abuser to me.

[Systematic Chaos]

11. Two words: SLOW DOWN

While I agree that there are some good picks on your list (namely Bambi, Old Yeller, Mask and Watership Down), I think the majority of these movies are way too dark and/or cerebral for even the most gifted of children in that age bracket.

From my own experience, I can tell you that in the early 80's I went through a phase where I was convinced that the world was going to end at any moment. I was terrified of nuclear war, and I spent a lot of time reading books like "1984" and "The Closing Circle". I was about 14 when I was at my worst, and it took me until I graduated high school just after my 17th birthday to calm down even a little in that regard.

These kids are going to become depressed because they haven't yet mastered the concept of suspension of disbelief. They are going to tend to interpret what they see in movies more literally and assume that some version of what they've seen may happen to them. They are about 7 years too young to properly handle a lot of the subject matter in those movies, no matter how intelligent they may seem.

Another thing: Movies may be your passion but they're not everyone's. I love all kinds of oddball and progressive music but I understand that some people are more comfortable with mainstream music. I may not like it, but attempts to convert people are almost never successful. Spend your time with these children sharing in activities that they really like and WON'T provoke tantrums. Grab some board games or spend time doing arts and crafts. As much as you may want them to, they just aren't going to grasp all of this material at their age without being traumatized.

[Nevernose]

12. Slap them around a little bit

They'll come around.

Antidepresants should help, too. Not for you, them -- there's obviously something wrong with them, and large amounts of prescription medication may be just the answer you're looking for.

[jdots]

13. i tortured the familly with joke books

at dinner we would play punch line,thats someone doing a punch line then everyone has to come up with the joke. The best cure for depression is to let them talk about whats going on and listen to them.

[Nevernose]

14. Have you taken them to a morgue or a funeral home yet?

Perhaps the burn ward of your local children's hospital? Wounded (but not killed) a domesticated animal with a high-powered rifle while they watched?

IMO, the only parenting mistake you've made is sheltering your children from the harsh realities of life for this long. Slap them again, too, just to let them know who's boss.

[FuzzySlippers]

15. Oh Dukakis.

You really are bad.

[Dukakis88]

16. UPDATE: I don't know if this changes the situation, but...

There were three kids, but now there are only two. Not sure why, and when I asked the kids what happened to Hunter, they aren't very communicative. They said something about playing "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," but I don't know what they mean there as the only props I saw in the room were the pillows scattered around Hunter's head, I guess to cushion him when trying to help him start breathing again? I'm a little sketchy on the details as the noises from their room went on for a long time while me and their mom were watching the Muppet Movie for old times' sake.

Anyway, I'm going to try to get their minds off of this tonight with ice cream sundaes with a special viewing of "Taste of Cherry" on top. They are big Abbas Kiarostami fans and have been looking forward to this one for weeks...