DU moms and moms to be

[jlucu]

I have a question for you.
Have you found any good liberal leaning and intelligent message boards for moms and moms to be? I am going to be a first time mom this spring and have only perused a few very mainstream websites and they just don't seem to be my style. Maybe that is too vague...it isn't only liberal leaning that I am looking for, but I am also not a "cutesy, decorate the nursery in pink or blue type" mom-to-be either.
So, if any of you thoughtful DUers has a good recommendation or two that would be appreciated!

Thanks!

[KCDem]

1. well, you may be pleasantly surprised with the "mainstream" ones.

I've had two kids, and each time, I went with the list found at www.iparenting.com (formery pregnancytoday, or something like that). The first time, my list was huge--about 80-90 women (okay, maybe that's not huge). Many of them seemed very intelligent, professional, interesting. After the babies were born, about 20 of us broke off to form a smaller, more political group. Almost all of us are die-hard liberals. Yeah, we discuss paint color, but we also talk about immunizations, circumcision, homeschooling, etc.

My other list only has about 25 women on it to begin with, and is mostly apolitical, but the few times politics is discussed, a bunch of us come out as liberals.

A friend of mine goes to some political moms boards, but she complains that most of the women there are freepers. Bleh.

Another possibility--do a search at yahoogroups for your criteria. You might be able to find a localized group of liberal women. I found one here in Houston for liberal Houston mamas.

Good luck, and big congrats on your pregnancy! If you have any questions, feel free to PM me whenever. I've got more free, unsolicited advice than you can imagine. :P

[jlucu]

2. Thanks for the advice

I must admit I had looked at babycenter (haven't posted), and I checked out a message that was about starting a book club- the first book mentioned (that everyone wanted to read) was "Let's Roll!"

That turned me off :)

I've been focusing on the "birth club" sections and perhaps I should look at some of the other topic areas a little more closely.
Thanks!

[Ilsa]

3. Here's one for you:

http://mothering.com/discussions/

Mothering Magazine is heavily about "natural" mothering and parenting, but the readers are generally very liberal and have a wide readership of Dems and Greens, and yes, some very socially conservative homeschooling families. Their forums cover details about birthing, breastfeeding, homeschooling, vaccination, circumcision, discipline, and activism, etc. Think of it as a pot luck dinner, and you might enjoy some of the forums there.

[populistmom]

4. Another vote for Mothering

http://www.mothering.com
I have 4 children 11, 8, 5, and 2. I used to frequent other parenting boards, but it's all sheepville out there pretty much asside from Mothering (which leans a bit left of me even regarding parenting, but I agree with 95% of their philosophies as well).
Occasionally now I go to Mothering, but for the most part, the last thing I want to talk about in my spare time is parenting stuff because I've spent and continue to spend so much time doing it although I felt differently a few years ago and really needed more support and reassurance on mom-related stuff. Not to mention too many issues that start fights. Think the Clark vs. Dean fight get bad. Try when a stay at home mom vs. work outside the home mom thread starts. Now that (in all seriousness) gets way more viscous, personal, and emotional (not to mention as a mom who worked part-time, I didn't really fit with either argument and understood both sides and it got really old).

[KCDem]

7. yes, those SAH v working-mom threads are nasty!

Whereas Clark v. Dean can get bad, most of us don't feel _personally_ insulted if someone chooses the other. But the SAH v. working debate--wow, some people take major personal offense. Same thing with circ v. non-circ (thankfully, I had 2 girls so I never had to decide), breast v. bottle, etc.

I've occasionally gotten Mothering magazine, and I find it a bit too "far out" for me. I vaccinate, eventually let my kids CIO, stopped nursing when I wanted to (20 months and 18 months), used paper diapers... a bit too mainstream, I guess, compared to many who subscribe.

Anyhow, I'm thinking of getting a part-time job, now that my youngest (and, hopefully, last) is almost 2. Will I be ostracized? ;)

[populistmom]

11. Ditto

I also vaccinate, use disposibles and my nursing cuttoff has been 2&1/2. I tend to not do CIO until 2, but after then, I want my bed back!
I used to be on an e-mail list that was perfect. It was semi-crunchy moms or something like that. That fit me perfectly since I was more like a Mothering type of mom, but not totally either. It's hard to find your nitch sometimes with the parenting boards, so I gave up.

[Iris]

5. Salon has"mothers who think"

[davsand]

17. I loved MWT!

The "Table Tarts" as they called themselves! It was a great board that tended to stay away from the political stuff, but still was a good group. I gave that up when Salon went pay to post, and I've never been back. I should.


Maybe we oughtta start a few Mom threads in the meeting room and just keep it going with Mom discusions? Anyone else interested in that? A DU mom meetup?

Laura

[populistmom]

18. Sounds like an great idea. n/t

[SoCalDem]

6. Congrats to you !!

:loveya:

A really nifty nursery idea for you, since you don't want "cutesy..

A friend of ours did their son's nursery in a "woodland" scene.. They had a friend who was an artist, but you could probably find wallpaper or decoupage pictures for the same effect.. His bedroom walls were done up as a forest scene, complete with sweet little deer and birds in the trees... the ceiling was light blue with puffy white clouds, and the window shade had a "winking moon" painted on it ...

His first word was "birdie"..:)

It was a soothing place to be in.. It would work for a girl or boy.:)

[SoCalDem]

8. another idea.. stay offline and form your own real-life group.

Mother-to=Mother is the best way, and it socializes your babies as well.. If you have time off from work or do not work (I was lucky I did not work), start approaching mothers with babies or pregnant women you see in your neighborhood.. They are probably as eager as you to find kindred spirits.. That is just one step away from the BEST THING ON EARTH.... a totally $$-free babysitting co-op.. That was the first thing I started working on whenever we moved.. I started 3 of them and as far as I know, they continued long after I had to move..

It's the mothers who create community.. We enjoy the online participation, but the face to face really beneifts us all more and it's great for the kids too..:)

Co-ops are easy to form and all you need is a pencil and a phone :)

[latebloomer]

12. Yup, I too started a group years ago

Advertised it thru "Mothering" magazine but then added women I met through the organic food coop and La Leche League. We all took turns bringing the bagels, our babies played, and I got to know a few more women who think outside the box.

[DemExpat]

13. I'll second this idea!

I made long-lasting friendships with women meeting them at La Leche League breastfeeding help meetings when I had my babies.

We formed play and talk groups once a week- these went on for years and I still have good contact with some of the women.

Working and stay-at-home Moms, and none of them were the cutsey/frilly types.

DemEx

[latebloomer]

9. Damn, wish I hadn't lost my bookmarks!

There's a zine called "hipmama" that used to have some really cool, political, holistic, arty, counterculture discussion boards. Unfortunately, the boards were disbanded, but there were several very intriguing spinoffs. Unfortunately my husband converted to a new operating system and most of my old bookmarks somehow disappeared-- and I can't remember any of the URLs.

In the absence of those, I too would recommend "Mothering".

[populistmom]

10. Oh yeah, Hipmama was great

I used to go there too occasionally, but since they disbanded, I didn't even think of it. Didn't know there were spinoffs.

[KCDem]

14. Hipmama was the 'zine that made me realize

that I was not a hip mama. :P

Geez, I must be really mainstream. I guess I'm a pick-and-choose mama who didn't want to conform to any one group. Both my girls were born in a bathtub. My second daughter was an at-home birth with a midwife. No drugs with either, obviously. Breastfed. But, as I mentioned earlier: paper diapers, used Gerber's organic brand baby food once I brought them onto solids (as opposed to making my own), kicked them out of my bed at around 4-6 months, (but, they were both ready by then), etc.

I guess I always felt offended by some of the LLL group and some APers that if you didn't follow them 100%, you weren't one of them. :shrug: And I know a lot of other women who are also put off by those groups for that reason.

[latebloomer]

15. I'm not a purist either

and some do get fanatical about their beliefs. I had the babies in a hospital, just in case of emergency, but used midwives exclusively during pregnancy and birth. I breast fed 2 kids for a total of 6 years-- just kinda went till they were done with it. We co-slept, but it was born not out of principle but desperation-- couldn't get the little creep to sleep without "hotdogging" him between us. Lived to regret it, but I do think there were benefits.

We do try to eat organic whenever possible, but my kids also do consume too much sugar--even when it's Newmans organic chocolate chips, it's still sugar. But I will say they seem to get sick a whole lot less than their peers-- never get ear infections, have only been on antibiotics once.

The attachment stuff can get a bit much--- yes, kids need a huge amount of attention and physical contact, but in order to keep Mom sane she MUST have a little SPACE now and then!!

[SoCalDem]

16. There is a happy medium

and most of us figure out that they will turn out ok even if we do make some mistakes.. Babies are tough little creatures, and there never was a perfect mom or a perfect dad.. We all do the best we can, and cross our fingers..

I rememebr with the first one, we boiled stuff to kill germs.. By the time the 3rd one came along, we just picked the cat hair off the pacifier and handed it back to him :)

They all lived to tell the tales of their childhood..:)