PEOPLE WHO WON'T F***ING SHUT UP

[Skittles]

How do you deal with these terminal gasbags? I've been told to "be nice" because, well, you know. But this project manager is giving me a headache. How does a conversation about external codes remind him of HITLER'S BOAT? Jesus. Just KILL ME. :(

[GOPisEvil]

1. Hitler's boat?

:wtf:

[Skittles]

6. I KID YOU NOT

don't ask me the story; I f***ing tuned him out. I've been told that saying WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT is too agressive so I just tune him out. He's some project manager on loan from New Jersey. He has a handlebar mustache to boot. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

[GOPisEvil]

9. The funny part is...

...now that I've met you, I can SEE you ranting now!! :D

[Skittles]

16. I always have the same look going when he speaks to me

like I just found a pubic hair in my soup. Of course, he NEVER notices this. I have to just grit my teeth.

[JVS]

20. Maybe he just thinks that that is the way you look all the time

[Skittles]

22. ACTUALLY

THAT MIGHT BE TRUE SINCE DECEMBER 2000. x(

[Caution]

2. Simple

I have a conference call at <nearest convenient 15 minute interval>

Works every time.

[Skittles]

7. HA HA HA

I WAS ALREADY ON A CONFERENCE CALL; SO WAS HE. HELLO!

[rbnyc]

3. Tough one.

If it's a client, you just have to take it, but a coworker...yikes. Do you say something and risk creating a situation that's even more uncomfortable? Or do you just suffer? Is there a nice way to say that you're being driven insane? Good luck.

[notadmblnd]

30. I would say....

If we could just get back on subject, I have a few questions, or I have another meeting scheduled soon. I don't think that would be too bitchy. But between co-workers, I don't see why you could'nt jusk ask "what does Hitlers boat have to do with all this?" (maybe make it a joke?). I hate phone meetings and people going off subject during them. I think it shows lack of consideration of other peoples time and it's rude. I don't care where Bob and Sally are going to meet after work. I don't care who won the hockey game and I don't want to listen to you talk about your kids. I just want to get the damn meeting overwith so I can get back and get some real work done. :grr:

[bif]

4. I feel your pain.

I'm in a cube farm here and there's this big bag of wind who talks from the moment I get in to the minute I leave. Everyone here can hear him all day. And frankly, just about everything he says is innane--he basically thinks out loud. It's almost like white noise after awhile. But if I listen to what he's saying, AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

[Demobrat]

5. You have my sympathy.

I have had it up to here with compulsive talkers and people who are in love with their own voices, and will not, absolutely will not, listen to a monologue. I won't bother trying to cut them off, because it doesn't work, but I will get up in the middle of a sentence and leave. Rude? Tough. I won't go into a long story about my reasons, but I just don't care. It's a 50-50 conversation or see ya.

[Droopy]

8. I don't know the solution but maybe you can help me

I have the opposite problem. I don't talk a whole lot. When I meet somebody new especially. I just can't think of anything to talk about. It can be very frustrating. It's just like I draw a complete blank. I am a little shy, but I don't think that's the problem. I see other people just yacking away and I wonder how they can do that.

[bif]

10. Here are a couple of things I do

the first is not to ask yes or no questions. For example, instead of saying "Nice weather, eh?" you could say, so what is the weather supposed to be like this weekend. Another key is to get people to talk about themselves. they'll go on and on and in the end, they'll think you're a brilliant conversationalist! Try it, it really works.

[Demobrat]

11. Try listening. Seriously.

When the other person is talking, don't worry about what you're going to say next. Don't think about that. Concentrate on what they're saying and ask questions. It will be easier on you and you will get a rep as a great conversationalist. Another thing: remember what people say and refer back to it the next time you see them. The smaller the detail the better. Watch out, though. Get too good at this and people will be falling in love with you left and right.

[Droopy]

14. thanks bif and demobrat

I'll give it a try

[bif]

18. Good luck!

Let us know how you do.

[Skittles]

13. maybe you're just not good at "small talk"

as far as those people you see "yacking away", study the faces of the people they are talking to - do they have those "AWOL" stares (Asleep WithOut Lids)? If so, don't freakin' aspire to "yack away". :O

[redwitch]

29. AWOL- I love it!

I hate the feeling though , I try not to keep looking for the emergency exit- and they keep going and going...:boring:

[SOteric]

12. I used to have a boss who wasted my time.

Everytime he started another 'fascinating' glimpse at his personal universe I'd interrupt, look at the clock and ask him in a very even, deadpan manner "is it really worth $47.50 of your departmental labour budget at my contractual pay rate to tell me this story?"

Invariably, he would cease pestering me and sod off forthwith. Your mileage may vary.

[Demobrat]

28. I had a boss like that.

He was a total gasbag who expected everybody to listen fascinated to the most minute details of his personal life. Of course he couldn't stand to listen. But what I did was whenever he came into my space I would immediately start yacking about some project. You know, sort of like you would if your boss was actually there to work. It worked like a charm. He would leave immediately.

[Fenris]

15. Handlebar Moustache, Hitler's Boat, external codes

Yep, I imagine that's what Satan looks like.

:( Sorry Skittles. Hang in there.

[Skittles]

17. I call him Buffalo Bill

I asked him how he got his mustache to defy gravity and he said EAR WAX. I don't EVEN want to f***ing know if that's true or not.

[StaggerLee]

23. Whoa!

Nearly shot Diet Coke out of my nose on that one.
:D

Not to make light of it mind you.

Someone like that would certainly test my limits.

[Fenris]

24. I'd hope not

Probably pomade. I use it on me hair. But that is the most disgusting answer I have ever heard. I think I know his type now. Annoying, tells bad jokes, winks a lot, gives stupid answers. Woo boy. Sorry.

[GOPisEvil]

26. There is such a thing as mustache wax.

Seriously...what it's made from I don't know...but there is such a thing.

[Bossy Monkey]

19. Say very quietly Susususususususususu

short for SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP...

Girlfriend and I frequently have found ourselves doing this in restaurants when we're seated in the Chatty Morons section.

[Skittles]

21. as I said before

I've been told to "be nice" to these people from out of state lest I......freak them out. :(

[Bossy Monkey]

27. Ok, just think it (n/t)

[Skittles]

31. COME ON

LIKE SKITTLES ISN'T ALREADY THINKING SHUT UP! SHUT THE F*** UP! I tell you, if I ever see this guy and we no longer both work for the same company I WILL KICK HIS ASS.

[Wickerman]

25. Hitler's Boat

Ya know, I saw this really interesting special on Hitler's boat one time and how this guy spent nearly his entire fortune trying to restore it and....

nevermind.

that does suck - I used to work with this windbag who could talk for hours without saying a damn thing - we had all day staff meetings and we could count on an extra hour each meeting because of her prattling and oftendidn't get half of what we wanted accomplished.

my sympathy to you.