Scientist Humor

[HawkerHurricane]

Two atoms are walking down the street and one asks the other, "how are you?"
"Not so good" says the other, "I lost an electron."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive."

A Neutron walks into a bar, and orders a beer.
The bartender passes it over, and the Neutron asks, "How much?"
The bartender replies, For you, no charge".

Bumper sticker seen at the CSUN physics lab:
Beware of Quantum Hyperducks. Quark Quark!

Neutrino says to Earth:
"Just passing through."

Did you hear about the new Quark Bar?
The first candy with both flavor and charm.

Bumper sticker seen years ago in Midland, Texas (Permian basin oil country).
"If you don't like Geology, upper Jurassic!"

If Avogadro's number is a mole, what is avocado's number?
guac-o-mole?

In Geology, Glaciation periods are named after their discovery location. One such glaciation was discovered in Wurm, German. Confusion resulted when it was further discovered that the Wurm glaciation was actually TWO glaciation periods overlapping, now refered to Early and Late.
Recently, a Neanderthal skeleton was discovered making what appears to be a obscene gesture at the first glaciar.
The Headline:
"Early Wurm Gets The Bird"

I have a bumper sticker that says:
"Heisenberg may have slept here"

[Bossy Monkey]

1. Oh, the hurting, the hurting!

Kidding. All brilliant.

[sans qualia]

2. Seen on a t-shirt at an amusement park

"I wish I was a derivative, so I could be tangent to your curves."

[democracyindanger]

3. Stop me if you've heard this one

0110100101, 01001111010.

"0100101101?"

"0, 1101101 01110001 11101010!"

That one cracks me up every time.

[sans qualia]

6. Which reminds me

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

[democracyindanger]

7. lol

[arcane1]

4. lol

loved the first two, and the last one :D

[SemiCharmedQuark]

5. Hurrah for Charm, the best Quark!

[baldguy]

8. My favs

[xpunkisneatx]

9. Ha. my friend has a shirt that says...

Why don't we get together and cross alleles?

on edit...

Another science pickup line...
You're so hot you denature my proteins :)