I am going to hell for Thanksgiving

[Pacifist Patriot]

Three days in cabins in the woods outnumbered 5-1 by Ultra-Right Wing Southern Baptist Conservatives who think Bush is blessed by God. How did my liberal parents make it out of this family sane? Do you think two bottles of wine per person per day is enough to see the liberals through this ordeal? There will be oodles of immature gloating over the recent election and talks of mandates from heaven.

I think I'm ready, I think I'm ready, I think I'm ready.

So....what are your plans for this most American of holidays?

[Bunny]

1. Why? For the love of God, why??

Sounds like a perfectly awful experience! Good luck, and you may want to pack three bottles/day, just in case!

[RevolutionaryActs]

3. What they said! Good luck!! Maybe pack a bottle of Vodka or something too?

[Pacifist Patriot]

11. LOL! I just added something to the food box and discovered

a flask my husband slipped in there. I'm guessing Irish Whiskey or bourbon though. I also doubt he'll share. Can't say I blame him. These are his in-laws.

[Pacifist Patriot]

9. Because my mother has this insane idea that family reunions

are a good thing. I think she'll be cured of the notion after this weekend.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. You could always go into a corner

and start chanting, preferably in some foreign tongue. Build a sweat lodge in the woods, or a shrine to Shiva. Freak them out.

We are going to the brother in law's house in Ft. Worth. We're safe though-brother in law is a Democrat who has hated Shrub since he worked with the Rangers. We'll play for the Dances of Universal Peace, honoring all the world's spiritual traditions.

[WebeBlue]

5. Yeah...do what ayeshahappipa says

Laugh while you are doing it. Creative suggestion there, gets my thumbs up. Don't know why you are going at all...sometimes we all have to teach "family" how to respect all opinions and not stand with them, but occasionally against them. For me, with 2 soldiers in our family, and my 18 month campaign as military family speaking out in support of the troops, against the war, challenging the CIC actions, all in my family know my position well.

I am staying widely away from family Bush voters, after letting them know how disgusted I am with them for signing the death warrants for our kids across the country in their vote for Bush. Might be a bit extreme but I have said I don't want to spend time in company with co-murderers....

[Pacifist Patriot]

10. Ooo, I can do any of those things. Good ideas!

[LDS Jock]

4. take this on your trip

[Pacifist Patriot]

8. Perfect. They believe in hell, I won't need to explain anything.

[Sabriel]

6. If I hadn't used up all my Valium, I'd send you the bottle.

Sounds like you'll need some.

[Pacifist Patriot]

7. You've reminded me I have a few tablets, but

I have to save them to force myself to get on an airplane in a couple of weeks.

[Habibi]

14. I like the wine idea, but

you need to fortify it with brandy and a little sugar. Then heat it up in a coffee cup each morning, and at breakfast no one will be the wiser. Ditto a little vodka in the cranberry juice with lunch. Then for dinner . . .

Unless you're a mean drunk. Then I'd just smoke dope or something. Tell Baptist jokes. Read aloud from The Handmaid's Tale. Goodness, I don't envy you!

[donheld]

12. Why not

just stay home and drive toothpicks under your fingernails. It sounds like just as much fun.

[baldguy]

13. I was "volunteered" to host this year.

Chaos is coming to town.

[shayes51]

15. Stand your ground with these people!

[Susang]

16. I suggest you smuggle in hard liquor

But only for yourself and the pther liberals. Somehow, I don't think the wine will be strong enough to get you through this. Tequila (or vodka, less smell with vodka) might actually get you out alive. ;-)

[babylonsister]

17. Oh no! Maybe

a blizzard will suddenly form, preventing you from getting to the campsite. One can hope...

[CornField]

18. I'm stopping just shy of hell

We're heading to MIL's house where her boyfriend will sing *'s praises throughout the day -- we'll all watch to see exactly how much the aunt can stuff in her ever-expanding body -- I'll have to keep my purse attached to my person lest the drug addict BIL should take off with it -- and a good time will be had by all.

[gratuitous]

19. Humor can be your friend

Also, in the midst of their gloating, simply ask them why they believe one thing or another. Don't interrupt; let them talk as long as they can.

"I support Dubya because Dubya supports the troops!" Why do you think that? After all, this is the man who put them in harm's way for no good reason.

"Dubya has been chosen by God." Really? You know, don't you, that the Bible says that antichrist will rise up, come to power, and deceive many including some of the elect. How do you suppose that could happen? Antichrist would have to look awfully attractive to believers, don't you think?

You get the idea, I'm sure.

[Pacifist Patriot]

21. I've been memorizing biblical passages and quotations

from our founding fathers since November 3. I'm ready, just not all that mentally excited about the idea. The most likely candidate for gloating and immature goading is also the mental midget of the group. Imagine that. I can take him with ten million neurons tied behind my medula oblongata.

[gratuitous]

23. Sounds like you're ready to me

Remember, in any of these exchanges, one person will have to be the adult. That can be you.

[Squeech]

20. Yow!

Only advice I can offer is, choose your arguments carefully.

For example, anybody in your family understand finance, and worried about the deficit? (Just saw a commentator on Nightly Business Report talk about it in pretty chilling terms.)

What we're doing is hosting what Mrs. Squeech calls "Cranky Thanksgiving," for our anti-social friends who don't have anywhere else to go.

[Pacifist Patriot]

22. The only finance they understand is tithing.

I like your idea. We used to do something like that before we had kids. They were my favorite Thanksgivings.