Choose a role, and play.

[short bus president]

I'm gonna be "Mr. Personally Offended by Everything Guy."

[short bus president]

1. And right off the bat,

I'm offended that I had to be the first responder to my own post. Hmph.

<pout>

[flamingyouth]

2. I'm the woman who's gonna tow your car if you park in my parking spot

[short bus president]

8. Are you accusing me?

Why do you think I'M gonna be parking in YOUR spot? Do you think I'm not good enough to have my own perfectly cromulent spot? WHY MUST YOU JUDGE ME?!?

[Runcible Spoon]

95. Lord Merriam-Webster recognizes no such word as "cromulent"

As a matter of fact, only Urban Dictionary, that perpetrator of grammatical defilement, has an entry. You've been warned!

[short bus president]

99. I find your commentary to be entirely dyscromulent.

Not to mention offensive!

[Runcible Spoon]

105. Good Sir, the only offensive thing about this discourse is your inability

and ineptitude to convey it without resorting to base colloquialism!

[short bus president]

106. How DARE you call me that!

I'm shocked that anybody would even use such a word. Shocked!

[Runcible Spoon]

108. Well at least the words I choose are to be found in respectable

dictionaries, not dungeons of linguistic filth and debauchery such as Urban Dictionary!

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

68. I think you are the one who got my car towed last time.

I shall start a website about this offense. I am putting your name down in my book.

[JimmyJazz]

3. I'm going to be "little miss hyperbolic freaky woman"

So - how are Althea and Stangle?

[short bus president]

13. Why are you gonna ask about them

and not about me? What am I, chopped liver? Sure, everyone loves the puppies, but NOBODY gives a damn for the guy who keeps 'em alive with the food and the vet visits and such. I see how you are.

[JimmyJazz]

31. I asked about them because they are absolutely the cutest puppies

ever, ever, ever! I would drive across the country just to touch their little wet noses! The cutiest, I tell you.

[short bus president]

39. Uh huh. I see.

Is THAT what I have to do to get any response from you? Wet my nose? Maybe lick yer face? I swear, I Lounge-stalk my fingertips to the friggin' BONE trying to fine an "inn" with you, but it's always rejection. Yet you'll halt time itself for the dogs. I'm SO offended!

[JimmyJazz]

67. I see you misspelled "in" - the grammar nazi's are going to get you!

:P

[short bus president]

79. Always with the criticism!

Nag, nag, nag, "yer doin' it wrong!" "STOP DOIN' IT WRONG!" Can't a guy get at least one nice word out of you?

Gawd! I'm just... I can't deal with this right now...

[Runcible Spoon]

81. Don't worry, they're being watched.

There is a special circle in Hell for those who defile the English language!

[Runcible Spoon]

101. Refrain from using the vernacular contraction "'em"

Does typing "them" require too much mental energy?

[BoX o BooX]

4. I shall be More-Liberal-Than-Thou Man.

If you'd just OPEN YOUR MIND, you wouldn't get so offended.

I work 110 hours a week for The Cause, and I meet a LOT of people who have cause to be offended, but THEY don't complain!

I question your commitment, you closet FReeptard!

[JimmyJazz]

17. OMG OMG OMG! I cannot believe you just posted that!

Can anyone else believe this shit???? Why I would rather eat nails than associate with any freeper! OMG OMG - you are without a doubt the nastiest poster EVAH - If they don't tombstone your ass immediately, I'll quit here, I swear it, I will!

How was that for hyperbole? :hi:

[short bus president]

22. How can you even presume to say that to me?

You don't even KNOW me! I'm so offended, I'm not even gonna tell you my whiny sob story to make you feel properly guilty for having been so presumptuous and mean, not to mention more-liberal-than-me. :P

[miss_kitty]

25. May I be your wife?

:D

[JimmyJazz]

36. First you have to tell us who you are!

[miss_kitty]

43. Damn the mods are doing such a great job

I'd hate to go and get this thread locked...

Ok, OK, I am the wife of the liberaler-than-thou guy. we speak with one voice. Whatever he says is liberal enough for me!

[BoX o BooX]

52. You may be my equal partner.

But I find "wife" to have negative connotations. I apologize for my gender's oppression of your gender. As Betty Freidan said to me when we were marching, "BoX, I believe you may be the most liberal man I have ever met."

[JimmyJazz]

82. ROTFLMAO

too funny

[JimmyJazz]

54. I knew it! OMG OMG - that is so the way coolest that you got

married! Wow - I've nver been this happy for anyone ever in my entire life! :hi:

[short bus president]

60. I'm deeply offended by your

lack of your own voice. WTF is with the subservience? It just pisses me off when people like you allow themselves to be demeaned like that and don't even know it! I'm afraid I can't talk to you anymore!

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

71. Why would you say that?

What would make you think that?

Where did you get that information?????

[BigMcLargehuge]

5. I'm going to be Mr. Complain in ATA about Inappropriate Lock Messages

Guy

[flamingyouth]

11. OH, ARE YOU?

WELL, I DARE YOU TO DO THAT! AND I'M GOING TO WRITE TO THE NEW YORK TIMES AND TELL THEM ALL ABOUT IT.

(Sorry, I lapsed into Crazy Overly Paranoid Woman there for a moment.)

[Fenris]

14. Dr. Friedburg, I presume?

Would you be a doll and play some of that wacky djembe music for us?

[flamingyouth]

24. Um, I know not of what you speak

But it sounds intriguing. :shrug:

[BigMcLargehuge]

16. I HAVE YOU ON MY IGNORE LIST NOW, BABY!

Ooop, slipped into "about to be warned for trumpeting use of ignore feature sexist guy"

[BoX o BooX]

18. Please don't be so quick to ignore.

As Progressives, we have an obligation to hear all viewpoints. When you have been serving The Cause as long as I have, you might begin to understand this.

[BigMcLargehuge]

27. I'll smash you up good mister lubrul! Lurleen, get me ma shotgun!!!

dang, flipped right into "Freeper about to come unhinged guy"

my apologies.

[JimmyJazz]

21. No - that was me - the hyperbolic crazy woman! - good job though

can i use that sometime?

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

74. Ahem

That would be ME.

Why did you do that?

What were you trying to say?

You have a check mark by your name.

[miss_kitty]

12. I'm also going to be

"Ms Giving the Mods their Props" gal, AKA 'The Suck-up'

On Edit: You mods do a great job!

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[JimmyJazz]

85. taking on the role of grammar nazi rather than hyperbole woman

JimmyJazz points out the words would be: Inappropriately Locked...


And, now resuming my role of hyperbole woman:

OMG - I cannot believe for the life of me that one of the mods made a boo-boo....

[GOPisEvil]

6. I'll be Mr. Overly Cautious

Are you sure you want to do that? It sounds dangerous. Someone could have their eye poked out.

[short bus president]

26. Are you saying I planned poorly?

Screw you and the Mexican donkey you rode in on, then, ya friggin' wus! I busted my ass making this shindig happen, and if you don't appreciate what I've done, then you can just bite me. Line forms behind Amaya, apparently. ;-)

[salin]

30. Jeez I can't believe this

absolutely cannot believe this... I don't think I can take this anymore...

[GOPisEvil]

33. A line? It won't go out in the street, will it?

[salin]

38. geez this place kills me

not bold enough to go out in the street to stand up for what we believe.. geez I don't know if I can take this anymore.

[GOPisEvil]

41. But...but...I don't want to get (gasp) arrested!

[salin]

47. this timidity

is what is goingn to drive me from this place... then again the strident conspiracy theories pushing for protest could send me over the edge as well... I'm outa here... really... for good... I'll start a thread...

[GOPisEvil]

53. What good will I be in JAIL??!

*sob*

[salin]

61. okay... I am back for now

just to tell you that few people go to jail - and the bigger the numbers the smaller the chance that one would go to jail... but keep this up and I will leave for good....!

[short bus president]

48. I'm offended by your lack of intestinal fortitude,

Ms. Loudly-Flee-the-lounge-at-the-slightest-provocation-drama-queen-person!

[salin]

63. hear that?

its the sound of a big slamming door... and its YOUR fault!

[short bus president]

83. MY FAULT?!?

They don't make an ignore button sufficient for the likes of you, you... pissing me off offensive person!

:P

[BoX o BooX]

70. Caution has no place in The Cause.

If you're not ready to get arrested, to get killed for liberalism, you are no better than a Nazi.

I marched with Dr. King. You kids have no guts these days. You think being a liberal is all white wine and pipe-smoking? Think again! We got our skulls cracked so that you could play at being liberal.

You are destroying the cause!

[miss_kitty]

7. I'm going to be "that member who just quit coming around unannounced"

well shit. I guess I blew that. I hope that offends you, "Mr. Personally Offended by Everything Guy."

:hi:

[short bus president]

88. I'm more offended by your foul language than anything.

You don't have to work blue, you know. Except for the part about - heh. heh heh. you said "I blew that." heh heh.

And I'm offended that you think it's fun and games to try to get under my skin. I'm a very sensitive human being, you know?

[da_chimperor]

9. I'll be the level 21 half-elf dual-class rouge/sorcerer

Pass the dice! :P

[Biased Liberal Media]

10. I'll be "The Fat Liberal Hippy Chick Who Loves Puppies"

[salin]

15. I'll be the angry "I'll quit and leave" lady

who keeps coming back...

[cmd]

19. I'll be I'm leaving and never coming back

Ouch! You didn't have to slam the door that hard!

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

20. I'm going to be Miss Paranoid

CHEMTRAILS ARE REAL!!! THEY HAVE INFECTED ME!!! I HAD AN MRI AND THEY FOUND A TINY MOUSE SKULL IMPLANTED IN MY STERNUM!!! IT GOT THERE BECAUSE OF CHEMTRAILS AND THE GOVERNMENT WORKS IN CONJUNCTION WITH NUNS AND THE GAY MAFIA!!!!

[BoX o BooX]

28. That reminds me of the time I was marching with Dr. King.

He turned to me and said "BoX, I admire your commitment to the cause. One day, after I am gone, you will teach others. You are very liberal. In fact, you are more liberal than I am."

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

75. I doubt that really happened.

Do you have proof?

[BoX o BooX]

87. Isn't that just like a closet conservative?

You question MY liberal credentials? ME?

I work 120 hours a week for liberal causes. I read "Lies and the Lying Liars" to Rwandan genocide victims. (Not the dead ones.) I Scream at anyone I find listening to Oxy-Rush.

Why, when I was working for the ERA back in 1975, many people remarked to me, "BoX, you are more liberal than I am... and I respect you! Many may not, but you have sterling liberal credentials!"

You kids, you just want to be liberals for the anal sex and loose drug policy. Well, that's not what we're about! You rotten kids! Now get off my lawn!

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

23. "Miss Please Let Me Drink Vodka in the Grotto"

;)

[short bus president]

32. Oh, you'll say that NOW, after you were a NO SHOW last night!

I'm SO offended!

But yer still my favorite underaged DUer, for a little while longer anyways, so I'll work on forgiving you. These other ingrates and flophouse freaks, fuggedaboudit. But for you? I can forgive. ;-)

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

58. Ooops!

I didn't see the thread :(

[short bus president]

90. smile maggie!

You're offending me!

;-)

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

94. oh!

:) :D :)

[short bus president]

98. and NO YOU CAN'T HAVE VODKA 'TIL YER 21!

I'm offended you'd even think to ask me to break the law for you! And MORE offended that if you were gonna ask me to break ANY law for you, THAT'S the one you'd choose! :P

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

100. there's more?

;)

[miss_kitty]

29. YOU MODS ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!

I hope you aren't offended by that Mr. Personally Offended by Everything Guy.

:D

[BoX o BooX]

37. The mods do a very good job.

When I was fasting with Cesar, he said to me "You will be a great leader of liberals one day."

I always think of that when I think of the mods. Perhaps they, too, can learn from me.

I am very liberal. Just ask me.

[name not needed]

46. Boycott the mods!

I hear Elad went into a Walmart once! He is the enemy! Write him nasty letters and he will die! :p

[miss_kitty]

62. no the mods are doing a great job

it's hard work. and they're only human.

Elad? Walmart? Really? I don't believe it. The mods are doing a great job.

[name not needed]

84. How dare you support the enemy!

Freeper!

[short bus president]

92. I'm offended by your negative attitude towards our beloved mods!

:mad:

[short bus president]

91. I'm offended by your support for the tyranny of the mods!

:mad:

[miss_kitty]

49. oh I know

I am your wife. what you say I agree with. because you are the liberalist!

[barackmyworld]

34. can I be a too-obvious freeper?

[JimmyJazz]

45. No you can't - you forgot to ask for pie and say stupid words like "zot"

and "ping" - not really a very good freeper are you?

[barackmyworld]

51. you've got me all wrong

I'm not a freeper, I have 10 posts because I lurk...I just want to know how we answer those lying scumbag swifboat vets when they have so many website that support their claims (that I listed in 5 posts in a row yesterday) PLEASE I need help to answer them!!!!

[JimmyJazz]

73. Oh that is sooooo much better - the best ever - yes, you are a freeper

ALERT ALERT! You forgot to say "I hate Bush as much as anybody, but..." though. You are getting much better at the freeping thing - you almost had me!

[name not needed]

35. Mr. Boycott Everything

:P

[Runcible Spoon]

40. WAIT! I wanna be Grammar Nazi and Spelling Police!

eom

[name not needed]

42. You need to boycott this evil "grammar"

I hear repukes try to use it! Freeper!!!

[barackmyworld]

44. danm! that is a good one!

[JimmyJazz]

50. No you can't be grammar nazi - the lounge is already full

of them and dammit, I know the difference between loose and lose and between chose and choose - sometimes my finger just gets a little "o" happy is all!

[Runcible Spoon]

55. fine ruin all my fun!

and whatever you're doing with your "o"'s sounds like a personal problem! :evilgrin:

[miss_kitty]

59. she's full of hyperbole

pay her no mind.

[JimmyJazz]

76. It's just a sticky keyboard for Pete's sake - what did you think

i was talking about? :7

[Runcible Spoon]

86. Well good sir, I implore you to watch your capitalization!

I say this regardless of whatever sordid shenanigans your O's and fingers seem to enjoy! :7

[JimmyJazz]

96. i really did step into that one - didn't I - hide me please

don't let short bus see that I posted things with double entendres! Please - I'll be your very bestest friend ever!

[Runcible Spoon]

103. Perhaps I will help you once you develop a healthy, respectful attitude

about the English language!

[azoth]

66. Well then, for you I'll prey. :)

[Runcible Spoon]

Dear Lord, these linguistic follies are sullying my eyes!

eom

[azoth]

56. I'll be Miss Moral Majority...and pray for all your souls.

[DS1]

57. I'm gonna be "Mr. Irrationally Combative"

:7

[short bus president]

64. I said pick a role, tardnards, not 'be yourself!'

How dare you presume to come in here and think the rules of the thread don't apply to you?!? I don't think I much appreciate that attitude, and I'm debating asking you to leave!

[Runcible Spoon]

72. fine then. "tardnard" is a glaring example of this disgusting vernacular

which is diluting the sanctity and character or our language. :evilgrin:

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

78. Short bus

I am sure they have plotted to do this on a secret internet message board.

Be careful.

[short bus president]

93. Shhhhhhhhh!

THEY'RE LISTENING RIGHT NOW!

And I'm deeply offended that you think I'd buy into that conspiracy nonsense.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

97. What are you calling nonsense?

That's it, you have an entry in my Secret Book of Enemies.

[short bus president]

102. I'm offended by that!

And more offended that I wasn't in it earlier!

:P

[Politicub]

112. No one cures that you're offended

Especially not me.

[Buzz Clik]

65. I am "The Sand in Your Underpants"

I will antagonize you no matter what position you take, and half of my postings will be deleted.

[jdots]

69. I would like kaiser roll or a jelly roll please.

isn't this the deli roll playing game,if it isn't could i be the sleepless guy that annoys everyone ?

[Liberal Veteran]

77. I'll be Mr. Hit And Run Flamebait Post....

Gay people have the same right to marry someone of the opposite sex as anyone else! What the fuck is their problem?

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

80. I think it's a consipiracy

brought on by pro-evolutionists, anti-comedians and the Gay Mafia.

I have all my research, you want me to PM it to you?

[short bus president]

104. Can't you just

"mental telepathy" it, or beam it to him, or something? Ya freak. I'm offended that they even let you nutjobs into otherwise-respectable places like this!

[BoX o BooX]

107. You're not a true liberal.

If you understood the liberal-progressive cause, you would know that we are all-embracing, all-encompassing.

Why, I was holding Miss Judy Garland's hand as she was dying. She turned to me and said "BoX, you know the homos have always stood by me... it's up to you, the most liberal man I know, to carry on the fight. Help the homos. Guide them in liberalism. Did I mention that you are very, very liberal? Also progressive. Also, only let Liza marry fags."

Then she died.

[Politicub]

111. Who gives a tish

who Leeza marries?

[BoX o BooX]

113. Well, you are not a real liberal, so I will educate you:

As long as Miss Liza Minelli only marries homos, she preserves the memory of her mother, Miss Judy Garland.

Since you seem to be moderate, I am not surprised you didn't know this. You don't care about The Cause at all. When I was rioting at The Stonewall, I turned to another rioter and said "Isn't this a wonderful thing for us to do?" And he said "yes, but people in the future will not have the same commitment we have. We are the tru liberals and progressives. The people who will claim to be progressives in 2004 will really be closet conservatives."

Then he offered to do gay things on me, which I declined, although I reinforced my commitment to his right to do gay things. But not on me.

[Politicub]

114. Big X on the forehead - Whatever!

I'm going to listen to my Neew CD and watch the Simpsons. I think Judy Garland was on mtv last night accepting some award for best kisi or something. Does she know Usehr?

[Liberal Veteran]

89. Why do so many of you hate 'murca so much?

I've only been here a short time and it seems like all I hear is murca-bashing!!!!

[Politicub]

110. I don't care about America

"in dog we trust..." big whoop de freakin doo

[Politicub]

109. I am dyslexic apathetic man

I could care sell about your tweed.