I am pulling my hair out! Warning venting!

[Rainbowreflect]

My friends (and I am using that term loosely right now) are in the middle of a really nasty divorce. I am stuck in the middle with both of them telling me their twisted view on every event that happens between the two of them.
If it was just them I would tell them both to kiss my ass, but I am very close to their daughter and this is tearing her apart.
They are both telling all the horrible things the other is saying about them to their daughter, but neither will face up to the fact that they are doing the same thing they are accusing the other one of doing.
I am at my wits end, but want to be there for the daughter whom I love dearly.

[Cerridwen]

1. A suggestion for you; tell them pretty much what you said here

I am here for your daughter, I don't want to hear what you have to say about _________.

Then leave it at that.

This is sort of generic but maybe you get the idea.

[barackmyworld]

2. ahh yeah

that is my parents :)

How old is the daughter? My parents divorced when I was 16, (I'm 19 now) if you want to have someone for her to talk to, I can PM you my screen name

[Rainbowreflect]

7. Their daughter is 10.

[skygazer]

3. Let me get this straight

They're badmouthing each other to the daughter?! Did I read that right? If that's so, I would tell them both flat out to quit acting like a pair of spoiled brats and think about their child instead of their own selfish concerns. A parent should NEVER do that to a kid - it is so unfair no matter how old the child is. A child should be able to love and respect BOTH their parents regardless of the parents personal relationship with each other. Inexcusable.

[shesemsmom]

4. Ditto

tell them not to share with you, you love them both and your their for the Daughter. Leave it at that. Been there done that. Worked out okay

[Lydia Leftcoast]

5. Gaaaack! Another of those divorcing couples who

really need their heads knocked together.

Please knock their heads together and say that it's from me, okay?

[myopinion]

6. Tell them to talk to a professional

Hi,
I, myself am currently going threw a bitter divorce; believe me the emotions get very heated and all sorts of crap gets thrown around. Don’t get stuck in the middle but don’t choose sides either. The best thing that happened to me is in N.H. I had to attend a “Child Impact Seminar” that I thought would be a waste of time, boy was I wrong! Remind them that it is their responsibility to protect their daughter from the ugliness of the situation. Never discuss your issues in front of her, a small request of the other can turn into a full blown shouting match in minutes, I know. Suggest to each separately to separately talk to a therapist or consoler, it is well worth the time and money. I have found that to discuss issues it is better to it over the phone or even e-mail, at least with e-mail you get a chance to rethink how bizarre a statement you have just made.