40% of AOL subscribers don't have computers?!?

[JohnnyRingo]

Though this is older news, I guess it got past me with all the cabinet news last week.

I had to think about it awhile ...40% don't know what the internet is!
Then I realized how many people thought Saddam orchestrated the 9/11 attack....Or how many thought GW cut taxes for working people.....
Or how many believe they could "have a beer" with George Buxh.

Has America devolved mentally? The ex-employee of AOL leaked this memo to the right media...Fox News.

How many loyal Fox viewers were watching the story on TV and turned to their spouse and said: Hey honey....Don't we get that there "AOL"?

http://watleyreview.com/2004/111604-3.html

<excerpt>
"Well, I got the disk in the mail, and it said if I wanted to subscribed I should send money to these people," said Carl Lewen, an AOL subscriber in Kentucky who does not own a computer. "It never said anything about having to do anything with the disk. I thought it was kind of like a souvenir."
<snip>
AOL was able to get away with this, apparently, because so many people are unclear as to what the internet is, or what benefits to expect from an online account.

"I kind of thought it was like subscribing to the yellow pages," said Lewen. "We kept getting copies of the phone book, so I thought AOL was doing that. I also wanted the virus protection, because it was flu season."
<snip>
"Well, these documents do explain one thing," said Kowshik. "I always wondered how AOL managed to maintain a customer satisfaction rate of 40%. Now we know exactly which 40% of their client base that is."

[autorank]

1. How many Fox viewers don't have TV's?

[Journeyman]

2. Excellent articles there on "The Watley Review". . .

I was especially taken with the article titled China Secretly Towing Taiwan Closer to Mainland, and the expose on how Homeland Security Plans to Rely on Dinosaur Patrols.

[JohnnyRingo]

5. Ok...I admit it .....I never looked over there on the right..

....or the disclaimer.

I...I guess I'm about as smart as those Fox viewers.
At least i know it....*sigh*


Don't tell the other guys...OK?

[Journeyman]

8. I hear ya, JR. . .

I've done it myself, so I can only laugh with you.

[UL_Approved]

9. We all make mistakes

But don't worry. At least you won't get somebody calling you a troll over it!

[AngryOldDem]

12. It's OK, Johnny...

I always love to read satire and parody. Thanks for the link!

:hi:

[burrowowl]

3. LOL!

Thanks for link!

[mazzarro]

4. Wooooooow! This is tragically hilarious

"I kind of thought it was like subscribing to the yellow pages," said Lewen. "We kept getting copies of the phone book, so I thought AOL was doing that. I also wanted the virus protection, because it was flu season."

Now that explains a whole lot of the support the present administration is getting.

[smurfygirl]

6. I had to threaten to sue aol once because they

had used my phone number to bill me for someone else's account and then refused to tell me who that person was or cancel the account unless I could tell them the person who opened the account and their phone number. It was so crazy. I finally told them I would have my attorney call them. They called me back and canceled the account and took the charges off my phone bill. I hate aol.

[blueblitzkrieg]

10. Yea AOhelL sucks..

I cancelled my membership and they kept on charging me anyway and then demanded the money for internet service I wasn't even receiving! And their customer service people are all BASTARDS!!! So unhelpful and just plain rude!

[Viva_La_Revolution]

13. years ago....

way back in 84-85? I got AOL - then I got the bill for the first month, $500+!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They didn't tell me that the # I called to get the service long distance wasn't the same price as a long distance phone call, it was a "data transmission" price. 4X the price of a phone call!!!!!!!!!!!!! AOL is SATAN in disguise!! Wow, didn't realize I was still so mad about it..

[NuttyFluffers]

7. heh, that's some quality parody right there!

for a moment there i almost believed it, perhaps i'm giving less credit to the american public than i should. :D but, darn, if it couldn't be mistaken in this current "looking glass" world. heh, and that pop-up blocker doesn't counteract cialis, just viagra. ;)

[MostlyLurks]

11. Although this is parody...

Even though it's tongue-in-cheek, it's an absolute certainty that most of the subscribers to services like AOL (Prodigy, CompuServe, etc.) aren't in the upper echelons of computer users.

I worked at CompuServe for a while and was sitting in on some calls with a tech support guy one day when he got a call that totally flummoxed him.

The guy called in and said his computer would not shut down - no matter what he did, the HDD and power lights always stayed on and the fan was always running. The tech went through diagnostics, ran stuff from the command line, etc. Eventually, after checking everything he could think off, the tech support guy told him to power down the computer and then reboot. So the guy on the other end says "OK", we wait about three seconds and he says "OK, it's back up".

Now, no computer on earth can cycle down and up in that short a time, so the tech puts him on hold and starts laughing. I had no idea what was going on until the tech looks at me and says "He's turning off his monitor, not his computer". After a few minutes of *very* delicate, probing questions, that was exactly what was happening. He was just switching the monitor off without ever doing a real shut down.

He had an e-mail posted in his cubicle that had been passed around the tech support department of "CompuServe User Manuals" we'd like to write. The only one I remember for sure is "The Old Man's 'I Can't See, Think, Hear or Do' Guide To CompuServe".

[skypilot]

14. Moderators should move this to the lounge...

...so that people won't think it is a serious article.