|
Edited on Wed Nov-24-04 03:43 PM by MrScorpio
From now on, all my conversations with minions of the great unwashed are going to follow this format:
1. Whenever any problem, regardless or not of any political implications, rears itself during any conversation, I'm automatically going to blame the Republicans. Sometimes, GWB specifically, but not too often. One other thing, I really don't give a damn if the blame is warranted or not. They're just going to get blamed for all problems, both big and small.
2. I will always preface any reference to the Republicans with the epithet, "Goddamned."
3. I will use these following reasons for blaming the Republicans; Corruption, runaway budget deficit, incompetence, arrogance, insensitivity, partisanship, God's wrath against republicanism... Well, you get the picture.
4. I will follow up each statement with one of the following admonitions, each complete with the appropriate epithet: "Something ought to be done about those fuckers", or the ever popular: "Those assholes really did it to us this time".
5. I will justify blaming them for all things bad, solely because THEY ARE IN CHARGE!
All in all, conversations will sound like this:
THEM: "Hey, did you hear about that plague of locusts that struck Israel?"
ME: "Yeah, I heard. It's really a shame. You know who I blame for that?"
THEM: "No, who?"
ME: "I blame those Goddamned Republicans."
THEM: "Really, why?"
ME: "Because, it was the Republicans that cut subsidies in the trade budget for international pest prevention. And with their overextended tax cuts and runaway spending habits, there's no way that we can afford to help Israel out now. The Republican budget deficit will see to that."
THEM: "Wow, I didn't know that."
ME: "The Republicans are supposed to be Israel's best friends. But because of their mismanagement, the assholes ended up stabbing them in the back."
THEM: "I wouldn't go that far..."
ME: "Well. of course they are to blame. Why? Because... they've BEEN IN CHARGE FOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS!"
The way I see it, if the Republicans can blame anything and everything bad in this world on the Big Dog's Clenis or all those years, we in turn can blame those goddamned rat-fucking Republicans for all the shit that's going to come down in years to come.
It's only fair.
PS: If the person retorts with a defense of the Republicans, my instant reply will go a little something like this: "So, what do you expect them to do to fix this? Work weekends to balance the budget? Right, didn't think so."
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
