I Ruined My 15 Year Old's Thanksgiving!

[chiburb]

I had the windows open while cooking dinner. I was also listening to some music and singing along, completely forgetting that Country Joe's "Give me an F! Give me a U!..." may NOT be appropriate for the neighborhood OR my 15 year old to hear me shout at the top of my lungs.

So my daughter turned down the music, I acted like a 2 year old and turned it up, then she turned it off and told me to shut up. Instead of realizing that my loving daughter must have REALLY been embarrassed to say and do such out of character things, I escalated the situation and now nobody is speaking or eating.

I fucked up...

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

1. I applaud your daughter's maturity and reasonable sense of decorum.

You must have done something right in raising her, even if you had a momentary lapse into complete insanity and utter disregard for the feelings of everyone else in your vicinity, especially the child you presumably love very much.

Keep working on growing up. Your daughter is a good example for you. :hug:

[chiburb]

14. Thanks for the encouragement, but...

This is actually a copycat thread. You'll see the original somewhere on the Lounge front page. I wouldn't have mentioned it, but your post was spot on (even if this didn't really happen to me)!

Thanks again!

:-)

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

16. Yeah, I just saw it a minute ago.

Um....the other one was a joke, right???? Right??? :scared:

[Placebo]

2. Errrr...

:eyes:

[chiburb]

4. Oh?

The original was satire, wasn't it?

:shrug:

[FuzzySlippers]

7. I thought so.

I had to check twice to make sure it wasn't a Dukakis88 post.

[DeepGreen]

3. :)

That's great :)
Not that you aren't getting talked to but the image
made me laugh!!!

Do you remember the fist Country Joe and Fish album?
I love it.

[madrchsod]

5. ok, that is funny !!!

country joe on thanksgiving....

[LeighAnn]

6. Windows open!

That part must have been nice. If I had my windows open, everybody would freeze their @$$#$ off.

[Maddy McCall]

9. Same here--and I'm in Mississippi.

The other story has a stench to it. It seemed like lunatic behavior on the parental part, from beginning to end.

[JVS]

8. I realize that this is a copycat thread and I agree with the point you ...

are making, but the rules say that we are not supposed to make fun of each other's problems

[Maddy McCall]

12. I think the point that the OP is making is that...

the other story wasn't a true story, but a satire. I happen to agree with him.

[FuzzySlippers]

19. I also enjoyed the satirical replies of all those who said

you had to crack down on these uppity youngsters. That it was my way or the highway. Funny stuff.

[Pithlet]

52. I missed the satire in the replies

I thought they sounded like they were serious. I'm not so sure the OP was, though.

[FuzzySlippers]

57. I was being facetious here.

Those people were, in fact, scaring the living crap out of me. If you want to see my real feelings on the subject, please read #178 in the OP.

[Pithlet]

59. Okay

That's what I thought, but with the other replies on wht is and is not satire, I'm so confused :crazy:

I agree, it's scary.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

13. I just saw the other one.

Um....


:wtf:


Surely the other one was the satire?? This is the one that's for real? If the other one wasn't satire, um, :wow:


I am really confused.

[Maddy McCall]

17. The other one was posted first...

some DUers suspect that it's satire. This is a copycat satire thread.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

18. Thanks for explaining.

Let us all pray together (or chant or hope or whatever) that the other one was a joke.

[Maddy McCall]

20. Sometimes disruptors come in and post such lunacy...

just to get a reaction from DUers. :shrug:

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

21. Yes. I won't call anyone a disruptor, but it seemed like they were

--if they weren't totally kidding to try to be funny -- trying to get a bunch of DUers to agree with them, so as to make us look like lunatics who are less mature than teenagers.

But I'm still hoping for it to be a joke.

[Maddy McCall]

23. Exactly

[chiburb]

22. A couple of points:

1. I swear the original MUST be satire. Kind of like the mother/daughter thing on "Absolutely Fabulous", right?

2. The "other" parent doesn't seem too upset or like she has a "problem" (as you put it). But I'm a good DUer... if you think this is out of line, feel free to hit alert and let the Mods decide.

[JVS]

24. I too would hope that it's satire

but I'm not so sure

[FuzzySlippers]

25. I think all reasonable people can agree that it's satire.

[jonnyblitz]

26. the original is not satire.

obviously.

[juliagoolia]

10. Time for Humble PIE

Dear Darling Daughter

This is a special Day.
It is true I am the adult
It is also true I make mistakes
I admit it, I made a mistake.
Will you forgive me and lets try to enjoy this day.

Adults do not always make the right decisions, but I must have made a few right ones, because I have raised a lovely sensitive daughter like you. I will not promise I will never make another mistake, but I will ask you to forgive me of this one.

Love as always
Dad.

By the way.. there is a pile of really good food your tacky Dad made in here for us all.

just realized on edit you are dad.

[DeepGreen]

11. Unfortunatley I was a couple years to young to go to Woodstock

I wish I could turn back the time !!!!
I was in a band with older guys. They wanted me to go
but only 15 and in Ohio, that wouldn't have gone over.


Sure like singing along with CJ when I see the movie!

[Robeson]

15. LOL

[NightTrain]

27. Umm....

Has it occurred to you that your making fun of another DUer's domestic strife might also not be appropriate? Particularly on a holiday, when many folks at least try to make an effort to temporarily put their differences aside?

You fucked up all right, but not in the way you think you did.

[chiburb]

28. Sorry, NT... I don't see it that way.

My sentiment expressed here is no different that what many posted in the original thread. Besides, if the original wasn't satire (and I think it was) the OP doesn't even seem that upset at the whole thing. Read it again, and her replies to those that commiserated with her. A "real effort to put differences aside" or a "please agree that my daughter is bad" thread?

Respectfully.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

29. Um.......

If the original post wasn't satire, and if it wasn't a disruptor attempting to make us all look like immature jackasses by rushing to his/her/its defense, then your argument STILL doesn't hold water.

How exactly is it promoting peace and the putting aside of differences for the neighbors to have to hear someone shouting profanities out the window? Much of my family is in law enforcement, and I assure you that anyone engaging in such puerile behavior could be arrested for violating noise ordinances and disturbing the peace.

[progmom]

30. She was singing along...

...the window happened to be open.

What kind of world are we living in that we're talking about arresting people for singing along to the Woodstock soundtrack in their kitchen on Thanksgiving?????

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

31. I am running late for work; it will be tomorrow before I can read your

reply, if any.

But you asked what kind of world we live in.

We live in a world where your rights end at my nose, and if you are screaming or singing FUCK while I'm trying to have a peaceful Thanksgiving dinner with my family, you are disturbing the peace and violating any noise ordinance my city may have.

I just asked my brother and my father (who have 47 years in law enforcement between them) what SOP is for something like this. They both said they would ask the person nicely to cease and desist, and if they didn't, they would get to go downtown and tell it to the judge.

I'm sorry that it's unpalatable to you; it's just reality.

Conversely, if your freeper neighbor was screaming or singing Bible verses out the window, you could call the police, too - it's just as much disturbing the peace and violating the noise ordinance.

Off to work......

[hickman1937]

32. How about just close the window?

I still don't understand Me First, Me Only tolerance.

[progmom]

36. I think maybe our misunderstanding stems from our interpretation of the...

...original post. I didn't read that the profanities were being shouted out the window, but rather that the 15-yr-old was shocked to hear her mom swearing and mortified that someone else might have heard it. I was remembering what it was like to be that age, and how easily I was embarrassed. Certainly, if anyone was shouting profanities - or anything - out their window I would have a serious problem.

BTW - like your DU name!

[progmom]

37. Oh - and what a shame to have to work on Thanksgiving! nt

[NightTrain]

33. Progmom, since you're still kind of new here, let me hip you to something.

DU has a contingent of holier-than-thou types who, in many ways, are just as bad as the right-wingers they claim to disdain. The DU Puritan Wing is extremely uptight, white-bread and petulant.

With my foul mouth and anything-goes attitude, I've incurred the wrath of more than one of those people during my time at DU. At this point, I rather enjoy pissing them off! I just wish they'd make it more of a challenge. :evilgrin:

[Left Is Write]

34. I really didn't even see the profanity as the issue.

Not the main one anyway. It was the impetus for the daughter's initial behavior, but to me the main issue was the way the problem was treated by the parent, the escalation of the situation, and the ultimate "ruination" of Thanksgiving.

[Carson]

42. *yawn* n/t

[NightTrain]

51. Thanks, newbie, You just proved my point!

[Pithlet]

54. Well, I'm not a newbie

And I disagreed with your post.

Someone could just as easily say that there is a big asshole contingent on DU that wants to do and say whatever they want with no consequences, and anyone that objects or disagrees are net nannies or holier-than-thou types. That this asshole contigent are nothing but a bunch of bullies who feel they should be free from criticism.

The post this thread was based on is more than likely satire. On edit, that poster showed up in this thread and says it's not.

[Pithlet]

58. Do you not see the irony

You're doing just the thing you're talking about others doing that you hate so much. If you hated this thread, why didn't you just stay out? You felt the need to reply with your disapproval, no?

[underseasurveyor]

40. Um you need to go over and sit on that bench marked

Group "W" :wow:

And no playin' with the pencils :evilgrin:

[progmom]

43. Huh?

Are those fightin' words?

Are you calling me a freeper??

Why I oughta...!!!

:bounce:

[Chimpanzee]

35. Alcohol makes me into a complete tool too!

[put out]

38. I read the original thread.

Many of the dissenting posters seemed to be very very very...

young. You know, lots of smart comments and lots of righteous indignation, and lots of "I, Me, My", but just not all that much to contribute. Could be they're pissed off at their parents tonight after being expected to be at home and try to be human. And then, the shock and horror of actually seeing a parent be a human. Oh, the humanity! My empathy goes to the parent.

[sandnsea]

39. As a parent

We're supposed to be the adults. And knowing that a 15 year old girl freaks out any time her parent does the slightest thing out of the ordinary is part of the job. On a summer day at a backyard bbq, maybe a different story. But not Thanksgiving and it's the parent's job to make sure silly fights don't ruin the day. IMHO

[JVS]

41. Hell yeah.

Also, kids need an example and while that may not be a fun job it is tough on them when they don't have one. If you have a kid learn to be a grownup.

[Pithlet]

55. I agree.

Don't let anyone else bully you into thinking otherwise.

[NJ_Lib]

44. Do you feel better now?

If making fun of other people's problems makes you feel better about your own life then by all means, go right ahead... I really couldn't care less what you think...

Funny thing is, I had no idea what a DU distruptor was, until I read your post... If you think I would post that for the whole world to see just to start trouble or to get attention, you really need to get out of the house more often...

Yeah, that's right... I said the f word in front of my kid... What a terrible mother I am... What an awful role-model... Maybe you should call child protective services... Since you seem to know so much about me without even asking a single question...

I am really shocked at your hatefulness... Don't you have better things to do than to kick someone who is already down?

I think I already know the answer to that...

[chiburb]

45. LOL!

You mean your thread WASN'T satire? Wow! You had me fooled for sure.

What I find especially interesting is that you ignored my "critical" post in your thread, and all the others that "called you out". You also saw this (my) thread last night and ignored it. So... are you really that hungry for attention that you needed to kick this for the day crew?

As for the substance of your post in this thread, I wouldn't even know where to start in response. The words you put in my mouth? The intentional misinterpretation of what I found upsetting?

Hatefulness? Not yet, but I could learn...

[Tsiyu]

47. I believe she admitted to being wrong

AND to apologizing in the OP.

So what? You didn't get any self-flaggelation out of your "critical post?" I don't believe you were the first to state basically the same thoughts, so why your feeling of self-importance? What WAS your contribution to this thread?

If you ARE a parent, you know that fights like this are never truly over the immediate issue at hand. They generally build up over time. I'm sure, if this isn't just satire, that the 15-year old has been testing the limits in all sorts of ways. Natural occurrence, coming-of-age, etc.

As a Hippy-hillbilly mom, I've gone through it. My oldest two thought I should be more conservative. My four younger kids adore me just as I am so far - they accept my failings, I accept theirs.

What did you want out of NJ Lib that wasn't given to you?

[NJ_Lib]

49. Wow...

Wow... Is that what the problem is? I ignored you? How many times did you want me to say "I'm sorry"? The first three weren't enough for you?

Oh so you didn't get the reaction or attention you craved from the original thread, so you decided to start a new one?

FYI... Not all of us know the ins and outs of DU yet...Yeah, I saw this garbage last night... Some people like to THINK before they post stuff that may be harmful and hurtful to others... Some people like to weigh their words very carefully... I know you're not familiar with this concept but it really works... Had I responded last night, I may have matched your hatefulness and I didn't want to do that...

Furthermore, I would much rather be the kind of mother who occasionally says the f word, than one who teaches her kids that judging people you don't know is Ok and while we're at it since they're having a bad day, kick them when they're down and make fun of their misery...

I think I now know what the problem here is... If I ignored you in my original thread and didn't point to you as the genius you feel you are, I am really sorry... I guess you felt you had no other choice but to make MY problems all about YOU!

[NightTrain]

53. Some people have no life and have to make themselves feel big by...

...browbeating others. Fuck 'em all!

Not literally, of course. Imagine how painfully dull that sex would be! :evilgrin:

[Pithlet]

56. You? Browbeat?

Never!

[Tsiyu]

46. Don't let 'em get to you, NJ Lib

Some people know EVERYTHING, never have problems, raise their kids perfectly, never curse and in general exist only to point out the miserable failures of the rest of us.

In our house, we call them "Filler People." I got that term from my friend Katie, who explained that Filler People are here to take up space, annoy the rest of us and to never, ever do or say anything helpful or productive for society.


They come to earth, live a shallow little while, insult everyone and then they leave. Since they'll never make a positive impact, don't allow them to make a negative one either.

Your story made me laugh on a Thanksgiving evening. It's just a slice of life of "Real People." Ignore Filler People.

[NightTrain]

50. "Filler People," huh?

That's a lot nicer than what I've called them! ;)

[Tsiyu]

60. It's become a family Code Word

When you have to be polite...:evilgrin:

[Phillycat]

48. I disagreed with you on the original thread, however

I think this thread is totally uncalled-for. I also think it's against DU rules and maybe you should alert on it.