Blonde Jokes

[name not needed]

Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Judy plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Buffie, in great detail.

The robbery begins.

Judy drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Buffie, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"

"Perfectly," said Buffie.

Buffie goes in the bank while Judy waits in the getaway car.

One minute passes . . .
Two minutes pass . . .
Seven minutes pass . . . and Judy is really stressing out.

Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Buffie. She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out.

The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away, Judy says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!"

Buffie said, "I did . . . I did exactly what you said!"

"No, you idiot," said Judy. "I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"

[matcom]

1. what does a blonde do immediately after sex?

she thanks the team :spank: Matcom :spank:

[Danger Duck]

2. I love a good safe joke.

[SOteric]

3. A two-fer: A blonde joke and a brunette joke for a chaser.

Blonde Joke:

Q. What's the blonde's mating call...?
A. I'm soooooooo drunk.


Brunette Joke:
Q. What's the brunette's mating call...?
A. Is the blonde gone yet?

[illflem]

4. A blonde was walking along,

when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says,
"Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"

[Her Blondness]

5. Hey, I don't get it!!!!!! What do you call a smart blond??

A GOLDEN RETRIEVER!!!!! :crazy:

OK, equal time here for Brunette Jokes:

Q: What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

Q. What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
A. Brown-bagging it.

Q. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
A. No one else wants it.

Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
A. Invisible.

Q. What's a brunette's mating call?
A. "Has the blonde left yet?

Q. Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
A. The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

Q. Why is brunette considered an evil color?
A. When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

Q. What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A. The invitation

Q. What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A. A hostage

Q. Who makes bras for brunettes?
A. Fisher-Price

Q. Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
A. It matches their moustache.

[illflem]

6. One thing good about Blond jokes

is they make the same amount of sense when you substitute bush for blond.

[kiki]

7. The Italian Job joke.

Picture a party in the early 1970s. All the happening, gear celebs are there. At this party, it's evident that a woman - she's blonde, for the purposes of this thread - has just finished performing fellatio on the entire line-up of the Rolling Stones.

Suddenly, Michael Caine walks in and says (all together now): "You're only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off!"

[rug]

8. ouch

A blonde walks into a bar . . .

[proud2BlibKansan]

9. A blonde is tired of being called stupid

So she tells her friend one day that to prove how smart she is, she has memorized all the state capitals.

So her friend says , 'Okay, what's the capital of Washington?'

And the blonde says "That's easy. It's W!'

[BlueJazz]

10. The Foreman and his two Blond helpers pulled up to...

Mrs. Smith's house to lay some sod. As they were getting out of the truck, the lady from across the street came over and asked the Foreman if she could get an estimate relating to her yard. The Foreman said "Sure, I'll be right over as soon as I instruct my helpers on how to lay sod". A few minutes later the Foreman walks over to the lady's house and starts talking to her, all the while, keeps looking over his shoulder at the house where the Blonds are laying sod. After a few minutes, as the lady and the Foreman are talking, the Foreman looks over his shoulder, turns around and hollers across the street. "Girls, Girls!..The grass side UP, the grass side UP!

[gmoney]

11. A visual...