Need help with an Acme 287A-TF2 atomic discombobulator unit

[tridim]

I don't even know where the "On" button is located. Please help!

[tk2kewl]

1. LOL!

When you get it working I hope you can get it to discombobulate our government.

[Worst Username Ever]

2. Where is the flex capacitor located?

[tk2kewl]

3. could be there's too much flow in the dyna-flow

[lapfog_1]

5. Uh... right next to the "flux capacitor" - n/t

[democracyindanger]

4. It's in the back

But you have to hold it in for a few seconds while it boots up, or your discombobulation will be pear-shaped.

[jmowreader]

13. It's only on the back on the 286A--they moved it for the 287A

On your 287A, you should see a little door on the front, right above the neutron ejection port. (That is, unless you have a 287A that was built after serial number 220252; there was a midyear production change for reasons which will soon become all too obvious.)

To start your 287A, first get a can of Westinghouse Isotopes and dump it in. Making sure the isotope hopper is closed, open the little door above the neutron ejection port and find the blue button. You'll also see three toggle switches and a knob; ignore all of them because none of them are actually hooked up. Stand to the side of the neutron ejection port--easier said than done--and press the blue button. A beam of neutrons will immediately shoot out of the port, which will fry anything standing in their path. Because the port is seven feet in diameter, you'll probably need to push the blue button with a broom handle; there is a machined-in dent for just this reason.

The midyear production change adds a starter button on top of the machine. Unfortunately, the button is in the perfect place to set things like vodka bottles.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

6. You need to upgrade to the Acme 287A-TF2.56

This was a minor oversight in the previous version.

[Worst Username Ever]

7. Don't bother

The release of the Acme 287A-TG is Jan 1.

[democracyindanger]

9. Yeah, but that has

286B written all over it. My garage still smells from the overflow.

[Worst Username Ever]

12. Remember the old 280's?

I had one, a 280B-LL. It discombobulated most of my basement! I had to buy a special recombobulation unit just to get my power turned back on. Oh, and DON'T load it with anti-matter. THAT was a mistake.

:P

[tridim]

11. Damn.. I got the thing for $3.00 at a government auction

It retailed new at $4.7 million in 1964. I knew there had to be a reason they were getting rid of it. It's a beaut, but I'm worried that the vacuum tubes will be hard to replace when they eventually blow.

In the mean time, I'll just go to Radio Shack and buy a big red ON button to install in the case. That'll do.

[oneighty]

8. You need to inject

A lot more Tritium tridim, into the discom section. That should light your 'On' button up, and other things too. Perhaps. Do not inhale while doing this.

180

[Whoa_Nelly]

10. Email Wiley Coyote!

He has all the Acme instruction books!



From the link: http://www.alexross.com/CJ063.html

[Pithy Cherub]

14. The diebold connector unit is remotely operated and

tabulates at a Cray computer rate once you opened the box. More problems with off. Off would be necessary for you to meet with the chairman of the subset committee on electrical vapor to ascertain the validity of whether you could make a return or get an estimated redacted value exchange!

[justgamma]

15. Silly, it's right behind the kanibbler pin. n/t