Yesterday, my friend asked someone when her mother was due...

[Glenda]

And the mother wasn't pregnant!

:dunce:

I know this happens all the time. Some women *look* like they're pregnant and they're not. THe woman in question was a fitness instructor, so what was she doing with this basketball-sized stomach?

What can I say to comfort my friend?

:)

Glenda

[Feathered Fish]

1. I avoid that comment like the plague

I learned that in junior high when I asked a teacher the same question. I almost got slapped.

[TNDemo]

2. Unless you see the baby's head emerging,

you don't assume they are pregnant. One of my daughter's friend's mother had this big pregnant looking stomach for years. A couple of years ago it turns out she had ovarian cancer with a big tumor that had just been missed all that time and she died soon after. I know most big stomachs are just that but after this woman's experience that is always what I think about.

[Glenda]

9. I didn't see the baby emerging from my acupunturist...

so I waited until she brought the topic up: "Oh, did you know I was pregnant?"

It seems weird to me that asking a stranger about their possible pregnancy is so accepted. To me, it's in that category of things that are personal. But then, I'm not one to fawn all over babies when they come out either.

Now puppies, that's another thing altogether!! :)

[classof56]

3. A friend once sent me a "list of things to never say/do" (funny stuff)

One was: "Never ask a woman if she's pregnant until you see the baby emerging from her body." You probably can't say anything that will comfort your friend that much (except that, of course, we all make mistakes, some worse than others, and at least this one wasn't fatal). But you might give her the advice my friend gave me, just for future reference!

[Tsiyu]

4. To Quote the Mountain Gynecological Vernacular

sounds like her "Menstruater's fallen."

Lotsa stuff in the female gut. And pregnancy often weakens the stomach muscles.

Better to keep one's mouth quiet about pregnancy, with obesity rampant. But doesn't the foot taste good?

[scarlet_owl]

5. Tell her to never ask when someone is due unless

she can see the head emerging. I'm one of those women who looks pregnant but I'm actually just fat. I'm also infertile, so it really upsets me when someone asks me when I'm due. Just let her know that everyone makes mistakes and gets embarrassed.

[sariku]

6. Someone asked me this...

About two weeks after my youngest was born. I knew I still looked pregnant. I'd gained a lot of weight with this particular moose, er.. child. But still, it was like "Ok, I'm just going to go home and cry now." :)

[GingerSnaps]

7. One thing that people should learn in life

Never ask a woman when she is due. We all have done it and we learn by our mistakes but the golden rule in life is to never ask a lady if they are pregnant :grr: Tell your friend that people are ignorant and it was a mistake and that their mother doesn't look like she is going to have a baby. Comfort your friend in a time of need because comments of this nature are hurtful.:hug:

[KMG]

8. I did that once

I saw a woman at the laundrymat folding maternity clothes, obviously pregnant as her tummy protruded like 7 or 8 months pregnant. OOPS, I asked her when her baby was due. How was I to know she was only washing those maternity clothes so she could pack them away? She said "I had my baby 6 weeks ago!" Yikes...I've never asked anyone that question sense....:cry:

[skygazer]

10. Rule number 1

NEVER, ever ask a woman when she is due or if she is pregnant unless she or her husband or SO or mother has told you definitively that she is indeed expecting.

Your friend does not need comforting, he/she needs to be belted over the head with that advice until it sinks in.

[blondeatlast]

11. I've gotten that comment HUNDREDS of times.

Oddly enough, when I was pregnant, I NEVER heard it.

I make sure to tell people who make such a rude comment:

"What makes you think I'm pregnant, 'cause I'm decidedly NOT?"

I do this even with the most well-meaning people, because it's just a rude as hell thing to say.

My husband was about to sign the final papers to buy his Lexus--yes, Lexus, when the salesman said something along those lines.

We left, but not before getting a good memory of the salesman's face.

Edit: BTW, I'm pretty trim, not at all "plump" but not skinny, either.