My boyfriend called me racist because I want a Jewish hairdresser

[pink-o]

...I need BIG help to deal with frizz issues, and gentiles have invariably ruined my hair because they don't understand it. I live in San Francisco, where unlike east coast cities, there aren't a bunch of ethnic neighbourhoods, aside from black or white. But when I explained to my boyfriend that African Americans have their own stylists he wasn't buying it. Now I'm really on the defensive--not a place I like to be.

Listen, I've had hairdressers look like deer in the headlights the first time they've run fingers through my unruly tresses. They cut it all wrong, they sell me products that don't work, and one even told me not to come back!!!! So to pretend my hair isn't ethnic is ridiculous! It's not as thick or tightly curled as African American hair, but my people are the only other ones who ever had Afros. Remember Abbie Hoffman? Or that redheaded dude from Welcome Back Kotter? Ya think they celebrated Christmas?????

Anyway thanx for the rant platform. FYI I don't even practise the religion (all that sexist old testament stuff--no thanx!) and I'm bascially agnostic, but it sure shows up in the stuff that grows outta my head!!!

PS...anyone know a good Jewish hairdresser in San Francisco????

[cavanaghjam]

1. What,

you want your head circumcised?

[BoX o BooX]

2. That's not racist.

That's just smart. Whenever I go clothes shopping, I'll only let a woman or a homosexual man help me. If I want inappropriate clothes, chosen by a straight man with no taste, I'll do it myself.

[Spinzonner]

5. Queerist

Is that a word ?

[Politicub]

3. Haha -- the Jewfro strikes again!

Someone had a funny thread going about his jewfro a few days ago.

I don't live in SF, but good luck in your quest!

[CatWoman]

15. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"Jewfro"?????

LOLOLOL!!!!!

[MuseRider]

30. My husband had

the greatest Jewfro until his hair fell out!

[kitchen girl]

36. So did mine!

I used to tease him about his "Sleep 'N Go Hair".

[MuseRider]

37. I loved it and I miss it.

One of my sons has it. Must be nice. Get up, scrunch your hands through it and go.

[kitchen girl]

38. I miss it, too...but he misses it more! n/t

[CBGLuthier]

4. Or Adam Sandler

Have you seen the commercials for Adam Sandler's new movie. His 'fro is as tight as they come.

My mother is a hairdresser and it is a fact that some hair types require different treatments and cutting to get good results.

[tjdee]

6. I have this exact problem--I'm thinking of trying Dominicans next.

My hair is not the same as many black people's...so it's not so much that they do it "wrong", but I've never been happy with the outcome.
Plus, they tell me how I have "so much hair", one told me I was making them work for it.... White folks, however, do what you say gentiles do. They don't know what to use, one time a caucasian girl blowdried my hair with hilarious results....

Finally I cut it so no one had to touch it!

It's SO not racist to want someone who KNOWS your hair because they have that kind of hair. Take race out of the equation, still not a problem.

[CatWoman]

12. There's a girl at work with BEAUTIFUL hair

and she has a dominican hairdresser.

I wear braids most of the time, and only perm my hair once or twice a year.

I, too, have a lot of hair -- thick and getting longer and longer.

Next time I perm I'm gonna have to check those ladies out :D

[Kahuna]

22. Where I live in NJ, Domenican hairdressers are very popular. Because..

Domenican hair can be any texture. So they're used to the diversity.

[liberal democrat]

7. You are not racist.

Just because you want someone who understands your unique situation does not make you a racist. I don't live in SF, so I can't help you find anyone.
BTW, I am Jewish. Even though I don't consider myself to be religious, I always feel different. It's probably related to our awareness of our heritage and our constant persecution through the ages. The Jewish emphasis on social justice is what makes so many Jews democrats.

[pink-o]

21. Thanx for the validation!

Yeah...different hair is just the beginning of the issues, isn't it? I've gone off on the total neurotic Woody Allen tangent too many times in front of a clueless audience who start sidling for the door when I speak:-) .

Also, have you noticed how many Jewish schitzophrenics there are? It's like we analyse and analyse until it drives us crazy and the voices start to take over.

BTW, not many of us are sociopathic. That seems to be the territory of rich white faux-Texans who steal presidential elections!

[pink-o]

24. Thanks, you guys.

I feel a lot better now! So let me tuck my hair up in a baseball cap and venture out for tHAIR-apy:yourock:

[212demop]

8. that guy Paul Mitchell-- I don't know if he's Jewish or has salons

but he's got frizzy hair on the commercials

My suggestion is to go stand outside a reputable salon and watch the various stylists through the window-- look for someone with hair like yours or cutting hair like yours, or even go in and explain to reception

[raggedcompany]

9. If you can't find a jewish hairdresser,

why don't you just go to a black hairdresser? I guarantee they'll have better ideas for how to cut your hair than the white shops do...

p.s. tell your boyfriend to chill out. racism this is not.

[noiretextatique]

17. i second this suggestion...a black stylist

is probably more used to dealing with a curly texture of hair.

[Kahuna]

25. Nooooooo! They only have one mode. A permanent relaxer for everyone..

Whether you need it or not. And, they use the super strength lye relaxer for everybody, regardless of the texture of the hair. Bad, bad bad idea. Or, you could end up with a weave.

Domenicans know how to work with curly and straight hair. Stay away from the sisters. They messed up my hair. And the horror stories I can tell you are endless. I don't go near them.

[tjdee]

31. That happened to my mom....

The relaxer did big damage.

But I don't know if they'd give a white girl a weave?

Also, I'll take this opportunity to tell anyone who cares to hear about how my sister waited 5 hours to have her hair done, I've waited upwards of an hour many times....the black stylists that I have come into contact with tend to overbook, maybe because it's about getting your hair done AND chilling out, talking, etc.?

That's why my mom was left sitting with the relaxer on her hair while the stylist was curling someone else's, why I was sitting under the dryer for 45 minutes, etc.

[Kahuna]

40. Tjdee...

I was kidding about the weave. }( I'm just saying they only have a few modes.

[tjdee]

44. Slow on the uptake tonight....

:hi:

[noiretextatique]

33. there are a lot of natural hair sylists in the bay area

and frankly, stylists here (especially in oakland) are used to dealing with the hair textures of mixed race and biracial people because there are a lot of them here.

[Hello_Kitty]

10. There's nothing wrong with wanting a hairdresser w/similar hair

And that person would be most likely found within your own ethnic group. I realize Jewish is a religion, not an ethnicity per se, but within the population there are different nationalities who would share hair characteristics.

Maybe if you can't locate a hairdresser you could attend a local Jewish event. If you see a lady there with hair like yours who has a becoming style, you could ask where she goes. Sometimes you have to do research. I have very difficult hair too. It's not quite as curly as yours probably is but it's very coarse and thick and tends to frizz mightily in the slightest humidity. Which is why I'm glad I live in AZ now. When I visit my sister in S.F. its ponytails and hats for me the whole time. Good luck, I feel for you, I really do. :hi:

[noiretextatique]

11. i have locs again now

but i've learned the hard way that not every stylist can deal with my hair...some just don't seem to have the training. when i wore my hair short, i could tell by the way a stylist used the clippers if they knew wtf they were doing. if they start zigzagging against the grain, that was my clue to end the session.
that's not racist, it's just the truth. i don't know any jewish hairstylists, but i used to look for salons that indicate they can handle all types of hair.

[Spinzonner]

13. Epstein ?

AKA Robert Hegyes

Since when was his hair red ?

[gollygee]

16. I think she means Horseshake (sp?)

His hair was brown but maybe reddish

[bettyellen]

14. i understand completely. But the best way is too check out other

people with similar hair that looks great and ask them where they got it cut. This is the best way to find a cutter.
They'll be happily flattered and you'll get some good leads...This also helps narrow down so that the stylists style is compatible with your own.
also Artec Textureline Smoothing shampoo and conditioner, it rocks! Buy it when they have the big bottle 2 for 1 sale at salons or else it's pretty pricey!!

[Kahuna]

18. He's being ridiculous. You DO need to go to a hairdresser that

understands your type of hair. My hair is curly and a lot of other things besides. If it isn't cut just right (between the curls instead of on the curl) it frizzes and won't stay straight. I actually cut my own hair. It took me years to figure out that my curls have to be properly dealt with. What would I look like as a black woman going to a white hairdresser to get my hair done? They wouldn't do it. And it would not be because they are racist.

Now my granddaughter is having the same problem. She's half Latino, half black. Her hair is wavy and curly. Her Caucasian aunt (in law), cuts her hair and has destroyed it. I told my granddaughter that she should not let this woman cut her hair because being white, she doesn't understand the nature of her thick curly hair. My granddaughter got mad at me because she loves her autie-in-law. I said, okay. Get mad. But one day you'll come begging for me to cut your hair. She apparently has stopped letting that woman cut her hair because her ends are in much better condition now.

[sariku]

19. My sister grew up with an afro

She's had black friends who told her that her hair was worse than any black person they ever knew. We're both quite white. So no, black folks and jewish folks aren't the only ones who have problems with friz, fro's and the like. My sister uses whatever hairstylist can deal with her hair, white, black, whatever. I am the same way. My hair is probably similiar to yours - very curly, but not nearly to the afro stage. The best person to ever cut my hair was a white woman.

If you're more comfortable having someone who is jewish cutting your hair, that's fine. However, just because they're jewish won't guarantee that they know how to deal with curls and frizz. My tactic is to simply ask a new stylist, have you ever cut curly hair? If they say yes, I ask them about their techniques - because one size does not fit all with curls. You can learn a lot about who to avoid by the answer to that question.

[212demop]

20. Also John Frieda makes so many frizz products I'd think one of his

salons would be sympathetic-- If he doesn't have salons in his name yet, he is affiliated with Sally Hershberger who has a place in NY, but I don't know about San Fran

[Darth_Kitten]

35. I used his products, to straighten my wavy hair.......

Great stuff....don't need much, and it really works, doesn't weigh down your hair with gunk. :)

[bettyellen]

23. I understand completely, but the best way is to scope out ......

people with similar hair that looks great and ask them where they got it cut. This is the best way to find a cutter.
They'll be happily flattered and you'll get some good leads...This also helps narrow down so that the stylists style is compatible with your own.
also Artec Textureline Smoothing shampoo and conditioner, it rocks! Buy it when they have the big bottle 2 for 1 sale at salons or else it's pretty pricey!!

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

26. Hardly anybody knows how to cut curly hair

Mine is very curly and sort of fine. I could grow a big afro easily. When I was a child, I looked like a refugee because nobody in my family knew how to style it. For most of my adulthood, I have been to countless hair-stylers that hacked it into weird-looking topiary shapes.

Finally, six years ago, I found a woman who knows how to cut it and it finally looks nice! Plus you need the right products. I use conditioners, intensive conditioners and Be Curly by Aveda. There's also a company called Ouidad that specializes in curly hair products, kind of expensive, but they work great.

My hair stylist is always thinking of a career change and I say, "No, you can't!" She said she would cut mine at her house if she changes careers.

Look around at people when you see someone with curly hair that looks good, ask them where they go.

Maybe the problem hair is a Mediterranean trait too, because I'm Italian-American. The frizziness seems to come from the dryness and can be tamed with the right conditioners. Sometimes I also put olive oil on my hair and let it warm in the shower for awhile and then wash it out. That works too.

[Padraig18]

27. Try a Black stylist.

They'd know more than most goyim would.

:)

[Kahuna]

28. No No No. See my post above.

nt

[GettysbergII]

29. Geez! That's really petty!

It really irritates me to hear such bogusness. There's just so many real incidents of racism/sexism/religious bias that accusations like that just make dealing with them more difficult. Is he some kind of control freak or or is he really that shallow?

I'm a white guy and for 17 years I've taught at a 100% African American, 90%+ poverty rate public elementary school on the southside of Chicago with a staff thats about 80% African American and 80% female. I can guarantee you that we're all going to be laughing our asses off at my school when I tell them about this on Monday.

[Book Lover]

32. Get across the bay

and into Oaktown. Many different flavors of sisters there (unlike SF, where they apparently rounded up everybody not-white and put them east of Third...) who'll help you out. I'd recommend the Lake Merritt area.

edited for spelling

[Deja Q]

34. That's not racist. That's reverse anti-semitism!

:crazy:

[kitchen girl]

39. A few thoughts...

If you're more comfortable with a Jewish stylist, that's one thing, and that's cool. However, IMHO, what you really need is simply a stylist who can work with your hair type. My suggestion would be to ask people who have your hair type and look great for the name and number of their stylist. But before I hit the shampoo bowl, I'd schedule a consultation with them and really grill them about their experience with your hair type and what they can do for you. If you're satisfied with their answers, then they get the honor of doing your hair. :)

I personally don't believe people can only work with hair types specific to their ethnicity. I knew a white woman who had her own salon near the town where I grew up - and at least half of her customers were black. And a black stylist makes my stick-straight, wasp-ish hair look the best it has ever looked.

Good luck!

[mr_hat]

41. Jamaican stylist. Dreads. Everybody's happy.

[Rabrrrrrr]

42. Not racist at all - go with what you trust and like

I like Jewish dentists. For whatever reason, they just seem to be a lot better. I also like Jewish doctors and eyedoctors.

I also like Asian and Indian doctors and eyedoctors.

Why? I don't know. But I've not gone to a caucasian of any of the above in a long time. Maybe because my pediatrician was Vietnamese and my eye doctor was Jewish when I was a kid. Maybe it's just that I've learned over the years to trust and be comfortable with Jewish people, more so than the caucasian.

Who knows?

But you aren't racist.

[GreenPartyVoter]

43. You are neither crazy nor racist. We had an Asian girl at our tiny little

waspy school. She went to a waspy hairdresser for a perm and looked like a poodle because the hairdresser didn't know that Asian hair tends to take curls a little _too_ well.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

45. I have the opposite problem, hair that is fine and relentlessly straight

I mostly cut it myself, but when I do get a professional cut, I choose a stylist who has that kind of hair and knows what it can and cannot do.

[Nikia]

46. What a great idea

I doubt that there are many if any in my part of Wisconsin. I suppose that I could first try going to a real salon instead of Costcutters or a similiar place, but then I might be out twice as much money for a bad haircut anyway. I have thick curly (though not tight curls) hair. I don't want it straightened or cut off. I want it to be long and beautiful.

[ariesgem]

47. Racist? NOT!

I'm an African American woman who went to a good friend's salon (she's a white licensed stylist and caters to white/latino/Asian clients). She wanted to give my hairstyle "a makeover".

I was amazed that she nor any of the other girls who worked there didn't have a CLUE on how to care for black hair in its natural state. There were no tools or haircare products in her shop to work on black hair. (Hot combs, required oils & conditioners, relaxers, bumper curling irons, etc)

She told me it's not a requirement to learn how to care for black hair to get a state license and she really thought that working on my hair would be as easy as "wash, cut and blow dry". Naturally I declined her hair care offer but I got my nails done. She does amazing work for her clients but there are times (like this) that you need to discriminate.

[fleabert]

48. soooooo not racist!

I have very short, fine, ultra-straight hair. I will not go to a hairdresser with really long, thick, curly hair. I want someone who is extremely familiar, on a personal level, with my type of hair. It just turns out better in the end.

My husband is the same way. He has hair you could use as thread it's so thick and straight, and it's almost blue black too; he has had some of the worst haircuts in the world, because he didn't go to someone used to cutting or styling his type of hair.

My husband and I would never go to the same stylist!