The Perfect Christmas Present For Republicans You Must Gift, Lumps Of Coal

[norml]

Lumps of coal in stockings make for a very Dickensian and traditionally Victorian Christmas gift. Be sure to include a note telling how naughty,not nice,they've been for voting as they did.

[FDRrocks]

1. Yup

I love my family, but they have proven to me that they are bigots. I can only sit around listening to thier filthy northern-closeted-bigotry for so long before I realize they aren't worth my money, as much as I love them.

This past Thanksgiving was the last straw, when my family agreed with my uncles rant about how blacks ("niggers") and hispanics ("spics") get everything for free. On top of that they insulted Cubans ("we don't want them, they should go home") as we dually celebrated the pilgrims and the rape and murder of the Carribean area by Columbus, I stood up and walked out.

Now I guess I'm the black sheep of the family, because I will not close my mind like they have thiers. My family sucks and life does too.

[norml]

8. You could include that in your note you send with the coal.

A lump of coal in a stocking may remind them of their roots.

[lgardengate]

2. and if they buy you a nice gift then you/we look like mean,bitter jerks

no thanks.

[norml]

4. If you feel that lumps of coal in stockings are not enough

include some packets of gruel aka instant oatmeal These are all much more useful gifts than most of the clutter that gets given. You are giving them a source of heat,a source of food,and the stockings give clothing to get them through whatever cold,hungry,and naked days may lie ahead.

[Swamp Rat]

3. How about used tea bags from Boston Harbour?

Or, a copy of the U.S. Constitution or the flag wrapped around dog shit.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

5. Donate to the ACLU

in their name. Or the NAACP. Or Poverty Law Center.

[CO Liberal]

6. Or Vials of Crude Oil

They seem to worship the stuff.

[norml]

7. Be generous. Don't just give them a vial of oil. Give them a whole quart.

With a note of some sort concerning oil. That would be a very useful and meaningful Christmas gift.