I am really depressed about my neighbor....

[sjr5740]

My family just moved a few months ago, and there is a family up the street from us whose son is in my daughter's class.

My daughter has had a playdate with this child a few times and she has spoken with the parents. Apparently the father has been out of a job for the last two years except for small part-time jobs and the wife is constantly working to make ends meet.

Apparently last Tuesday the father shot/killed himself with a gun the wife didn't know he had while the kids were at school and his wife was at work. His kids found him when they got home from school.

This really depresses me because even though I did not really know the guy there is no logic in solving problems by killing yourself and if anything it just makes it worse for your family. Also, he knew his kids schedule and that they would find him.

I find the whole thing really bizarre and can't understand why anyone would do something like that.

I just need a place to vent sorry.....

SJR

[rsmith6621]

1. The Only Positive Thing

He wont suffer through 4 MORE years of Bush.

Sad.....very sad

[ScreamingMeemie]

2. Oh God, I am so sorry sjr...

:( Venting here is a good thing. My husband found his father on Father's Day 2000. He had shot himself after losing job after job and not being able to quit drinking. My heart goes out to you and this family. The saddest part is...it will never make sense to those left behind. I try to instill in my husband this truth: They can take everything away from you, but they cannot take away the love of your family.


:hug: Laura

[fertilizeonarbusto]

3. OMG, the kids found him

How terrible, poor kids!:evilfrown:

[solinvictus]

4. That is terrible...

Apparently, he reached his breaking point. I can only imagine his constant anguish at not being able to support his family.

[sjr5740]

9. My wife thinks this had a large part in it as well

She thinks that men are more likely to have problems if the woman is the provider.

Thank you everyone for your sympathetic remarks. We still haven't told our daughter but I think she knows something is up becuase she was getting home from school when she saw all the police cars.

[DS1]

5. Sounds like he wanted to make his wife guilty for having the kids

Of course, I'm far from a trained pro.

[MsAnthropy]

6. I'm sorry for you and for the man's family

Suicide is a symptom of a disease, just like any other disease. No one can know, or judge, what his life was like. Something that comforts me when someone I know does this is when Gibran wrote "Perhaps a man may commit suicide in self-defense."

[demnan]

7. This happened to me too

When I was young I played with a girl friend in our neighborhood from a large family of kids and their father shot and killed himself one day. I guess I was about eight years old. I remember not knowing what to say to her or her family. I believe they moved shortly after that.

I think he just couldn't take the financial pressure of taking care of all those kids anymore.

[madison2000]

8. Suicide is a symptom of society

as well as an individual problem. This person had financial problems and not enough resources.

Our society does not provide enough resources for the unemployed. Few companies give severance packages except to those in high positions (who need it the least). What are you supposed to do when 26 weeks of unemployment runs out and you haven't been able to find a job? What are you supposed to do if you can't afford your COBRA coverage and have no health insurance? Depression goes hand in hand with unemployment, and if you don't have health insurance, you're a lot less likely to be treated for it.

Instead of helping the poor and unemployed get treatment for depression or other health problems, we're screening schoolchildren for mental illness and teaching them abstinence. Go figure.

[Love Bug]

10. I can't imagine the despair

I can't imagine the pain and despair this man went through that he would think his death would be better for his family than his continued presence. I know a lot of people think people who commit suicide are cowards, but I don't think that's true. I think they truly believe everyone would be better off without them, for whatever reason.

I feel for that family and especially for those poor kids, who will go to their graves with the image of their dead father in their minds.

[redqueen]

11. They're not thinking clearly

If they were they'd consider the kids, their loved ones, etc.

What can one do but pray? :(