For science: reading on toilet, males vs females

[bloodyjack]

First of all, is there any variation between males and females w/ regards to reading on the toilet?

Secondly, for which gender is quality literature generally necessary to enhance the experience of CRAPPING

Thirdly and lastly, WHY IS THIS SO???

These are questions which shall be answered once and for all AFTER the results have been recorded to delight and enlighten the gentle reader

[imenja]

1. Why?

We sit down more often.

[bloodyjack]

2. what do you mean

I know plenty of fellows who always find time to enjoy a good sit

[imenja]

3. I'm not going to explain anatomy to you

Ask your mother.

[bloodyjack]

4. there's no need to be rude

it was a simple question :pals:

[imenja]

5. it was meant to be humorous, not rude.

Inflection doesn't come across over the computer.

[bloodyjack]

6. irony can sometimes be lost on the internet

sorry its just that too many people have been cruel and inconsiderate to me because I didnt know that girls pee sitting down and I just feel like I'm about to snap here you know?

I dont know

[DemocratSinceBirth]

8. u din't know girls sit down to urinate

really...

[bloodyjack]

9. you dont know me so dont judge me okay?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

10. I Don't Know The Average Ten Year Old

but I would assume he's figured out how and why girls sit down to pee....

[bloodyjack]

11. will you please just let it go???????

:party:

[DemocratSinceBirth]

12. since you asked nicely...

if u really nice i'll tell you some other things only girls can do....

[Sporadicus]

7. I Only Read at Work

Someone many years ago had the foresight to construct TWO magazine racks. One contains hunting & fishing magazines; the other contains National Geographics from the 1930s...with some Maxims in the back :evilgrin:

[fleabert]

13. what else is there to do? Stare at my shower curtain?

I'll read anything, quality is not a priortiy in that moment.

[Phillycat]

17. Totally. I'll read shampoo bottles if that's all there is.

Female, BTW.

[eoberhauser]

29. I totally was going to type that

That's hilarious!

Erin

[Beaverhausen]

30. Me too! I translate the other languages on the bottles!

[Phillycat]

31. I had a lovely moment reading my shaving gel container the

other day.

[fleabert]

32. lol! yup!

i am the same way, and not just in the bathroom. I cannot stand to eat cereal and not read at the same time. I love a newspapr, book or magazine, but sometimes I get to know the side panel of every box in the pantry really well!

[Cadence]

35. Me too! LOL

Shampoo bottles, shaving cream whatever's handy.
But mostly US magazine.

[progmom]

41. Me too! Or toothpaste tubes.

I will read the same New Yorker ten times if I fortget to replace it for a couple of weeks.
Sad....

(edited for stupid spelling mistake!!)

[freeplessinseattle]

14. men seem to take longer, for whatever reason

maybe it's a treat to sit, I don't know. or maybe they just eat more, generally.

I can't help but think of Al Bundy and his newspaper, some men seem to actually look forward to and savor that private time experience in the sanctuary of the bathroom, while women are more inclined to take bubble baths as a pleasant escape. just my observations.


(wow, I can't help but wonder what kind of sheltered life someone must have to make it into adulthood without being privy to the secret that boy's bathrooms have urinals and girl's don't. Perhaps Mormon upbringing?)

[mainegreen]

15. The Atlantic is good bathroom reading

[bif]

16. I do. That's why I call the bathroom "The Office."

[Petrushka]

33. At our house, it's "the library" . . . books & magazines galore in there!

[LisaLynne]

18. Is this going to be published in a ...

peer reviewed journal of science?

[Bertha Venation]

19. I read but only

until I am done. I don't spend half the day there. I'm afraid the shit snake's gonna come up and bite me.

See what gems you can find when you click on what looks like a boring post?! :7

[scarlet_owl]

20. I read on the toilet. I especially like "Uncle John's Bathroom Readers"

They are specifically designed for such a purpose.

[Reverend_Smitty]

39. lol...I have one of those...

I got it as a Christmas present a few years ago. Short bits of interesting information, perfect for the john!

[Phillycat]

21. Remember the Seinfeld episode when George took the book

at the bookstore into the bathroom and then they made him buy it?

[Cadence]

36. LOL. Yes and nobody would touch it.

:)

[Mojambo]

51. I find the soothing pastoral images very conducive to...

;)

[dolo amber]

22. The toilet makes my bum cold

I try to not sit on it any longer than necessary.

[fluffernutter]

23. "It's been flagged!"

I always chuckle at that line from Seinfeld when George takes a book into the bathroom at Barnes & Noble.

i rarely read in the bathroom, for the simple reason that i'm not in there long enough to make it worth while.

[Sabriel]

24. Maybe it's because women realize there's a shitload of work to do

Whereas men just sit there and blow it off. I don't have the luxury of a nice, long sit-down, because our two kids would wreak havoc while I was reading Utne or whatever.

[progmom]

42. Ah, I have the reverse issue.

My husband and I both see the bathroom as our only alone time. Love the toddler, but sometimes I need "me" time. The bathroom is where it's at. Husband and I fight over who gets to go sometimes.

[bloodyjack]

25. are those the last of the votes?

results are inconclusive and frighteningly STUPID. I was trying to prove that men enjoy the sensation of CRAP easing through their colon and tickling their sphincter more than women do.

this was not at all supported by the poll results

thanks, anyways, fellows

[Squatch]

26. Only until my ass cheeks fall asleep.

I need to find a more comfortable comode.

[Droopy]

27. I shit at the speed of sound

I'm in and out of there in a couple of minutes so there's no need for reading material. I guess it's one of the few ways that I'm blessed.

[Cadence]

38. Whenever I go that fast I'm bummed I didn't have time to read.

[skygazer]

28. Both hubby and I read on the toilet

I have always wondered what people who do not read do while they are in there. Do they just sit and think? Do they nap? I'm a reader - whenever I have a spare couple of minutes, I read. I keep a book in the car in case I have to wait somewhere for something. Hubby is the same. I think it may have more to do with whether or not people are readers to begin with but you will no doubt figure that out from the results of your impressive and scientific poll. ;)

[Wapsie B]

34. I know of people who've got

small libraries in their bathrooms but I've not gotten into it much beyond maybe reading the mail or morning newspaper there. And that's very rarely.

[Reverend_Smitty]

37. I'm a female who reads on the toilet...

however I don't do it when I'm at school. I've been living with my roommates for nearly 3 years but god help me if one sees me going into the bathroom with a magazine. However I was pleased to find that there were a couple of mags on the shelf next to the toilet a few weeks ago, unfortunately they were People Magazines...so now I know all about the Brittney Spears wedding.

But I mean what better do you have to do while you are in there, what can I say I like to multi-task!

[burrowowl]

40. My father read the

paper on the toilet. When we asked mother where is Dad and when in the bathroom taking awhile, she would say he is cogitating.
In 3rd grade we had cogitate on the spelling list and I thought: wow, I didn't know they used the word meaning to sit on the toilet reading could be used in public. Cogitate always pops up dad on the toilet reading as opposed to Rodin's Tinker.

[Der Blaue Engel]

43. OMG, this thread has me ROTFLMAO! :D

Did anyone else see last night's South Park in which Cartman proves that if you shove food up your ass, you'll crap out your mouth?

Nuthin' is funnier than poo humor!

(Aw, dammit...I've gone and blown my resolution to stop posting at 199.)

[sleipnir]

44. Don't have time.

I never get to taking so long that I feel the need to read. Usually, I'm in and out in under 3 minutes, with the sanitation afterwords.

[StrongbadTehAwesome]

45. usually doesn't take me that long, so I don't worry about it,

but if I'm already reading something (which is the case more often than not), I'll bring it in.

Oh, and for research purposes, I'm female.

[RPM]

46. never understood the disjunctive...

"shit or get off the pot"

Rather, I belive in:

"shit and get off the pot"

[LosinIt]

47. My theory: the male anal orifice can only relax when eyes are moving

in a repeated left to right pattern. Seems to hold up pretty well.

[RevolutionaryActs]

48. This is, by far, the most insane thread I have ever seen,

I like. :)

[MissMarple]

49. I read, except when driving, gardening, or doing needlepoint,

things like that. When possible, like when driving, I like to listen to talk radio, books on tape, and music, in that order. I will be asking for one of those MP whatever thingys for Christmas and perhaps a serius radio whatever thing. I'm low tech person who really appreciates the high tech stuff. I think its a little like Star Trek but...too little... to late... and not so user friendly. I have hopes, however and I am optimistic. Perhaps Scotty will be beaming me up,... quite soon.

[Behind the Aegis]

50. good reading time

It is great for reading an article in a magazine! That's how most of the magazines get read by me. :) I am better than I used to be. When I was younger I would read a chapter in a book before I emerged from the john....my parents always thought I was punching the munchkin. I think I disappointed them because I always emerged with a book!

[MissMarple]

52. When I was growing up, it was the only place to read late at night,

without disturbing. :D

[Seabiscuit]

53. I don't have time to read on the toilet

I'm too busy calculating my monthly budget on the toilet paper.