Biblical marriage now!

[Ratty]

Sorry if this has been posted before. It's currently making the email rounds here'bouts:

It was recently mentioned that the Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: "Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With many forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government."

I'm sure any good religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment codifying marriage entirely on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.) Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

B. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed.(Deut 22:13-21) Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

C. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

D. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

[Bill McBlueState]

1. thanks for the laugh!

I'm getting married in a couple weeks, so I sent this on to my groomsmen and my fiancee, who will appreciate it. :D

[scarlet_owl]

2. Congratulations and Welcome WMass astronomer!

:toast:

[Iris]

3. kick n/t

[Deja Q]

4. Oh come now, convince me to believe Christianity is really worthwhile!

All I've seen are examples of an utter joke. (Good job!)

Concubines, oh I love the hypocrisy Christianity offers!! :D

Wives, plural, that's even better! :D :D

What if the non-believer is a concubine, surely that must be allowed as Christianity, if tried to be taken seriously as a whole, utterly fails to have any credibility whatsoever? Even "Doctor Who" has better continuity between its stories... :eyes:

Forcing the brother to marry the widow, that is hilarious! Only one shoe, won't he just buy another? How about execution as punishment, that really fits the crime! :evilgrin:

Best of all, it solves the divorce problem in a nimble and neat way. I love it! :loveya: Better be careful who you marry then! and since men can have wives, it doesn't matter for him. He can ignore her all he wants, though she's not allowed to have multiple husbands. :-(

Hey, what happens if a man dies and his brother shortly later dies, or both at once in a plane crash caused by rogue Saudis who try to make it look like a disgruntled 3rd world government who gave the finger to a superpower who tried forcing itself onto the 3rd world government? Does the uncle or cousin then be forced to marry the widow? Whassup?

Bushco* will make sure that only the parts he wants will become law. Discard the rest. Typical born-again hypocrisy. Makes me hate organizaed religion as much as I hate organized crime; though both are already similar in many ways...

[Liberator_Rev]

5. Thanks, Congratulations, Welcome, friends, and Sorry that this didn't

get the play that it deserved. It's hillarious! I'd like to use it on my http://www.LiberalsLikeChrist.Org/ web site, if that's alright, probably on http://www.LiberalsLikeChrist.Org/ChurchvsGays .