I have this friend who is an ER doctor. He's seen a few interesting cases

[yvr girl]

He had one woman who got a light bulb stuck inside (you know where.) Has anyone had to make a rather embarrassing trip to the ER?

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

1. Wow ... what a bright idea that was ...

[Dora]

2. Yes, the sex was illuminating.

[Worst Username Ever]

7. Sounds like the lady was real bright.

[yvr girl]

3. Not to mention... ouch

could she not have come up with something more resembling ...a banana

[GingerSnaps]

4. What did she think that she was a Light bright game?

:shrug:

[northzax]

5. wait, why did she put a lightbulb in her ear? I don't get it?

and what does this day aobut her boyfriend's well, anatomical configuration?

[yvr girl]

11. Me thinks there was no boyfriend

Even if you ignore the problems presented by the initial insertion, what if the thing had broken, rather than been stuck. Ouch. I don't think Band-aide makes a location appropriate product.

[StopTheMorans]

6. 5 years ago;I once fell down a flight of stairs in a bar completely wasted

opened a huge gash above my eye (i was only 20). got home, and my dad (he's a big guy, 6'3) said "that needs stitches". I disagreed, but he was adamant. we got there, and the dr. took me back into the ER. he said, "how did this happen?" i, still very drunk, said "i fell down a flight of stairs." he said, "come on, you can tell me, you're safe here." i wasn't really sure what he meant, and repeated my first explanation. he said, "i know you didn't fall down the stairs, and i saw who brought you here. you can trust me". at that point, i finally realized that he'd thought that my dad had hit me. so, a bit pissed, i said "look, i'm underage, i went to a bar in PA, used a fake ID to buy a whole lot of shots in an hour, and then fell down a flight of stairs. are you happy now?" he stitched me up without saying a word:)

[northzax]

8. I don't remember that one from Operation

have they updated the game for a new generation?

[Logiola]

10. please

last one to leave the orifice has to turn out the lights..

[mainegreen]

12. Snort!

Welcome to DU!

[Logiola]

17. thanks

i have enjoyed lurking here for some time, thought i would start posting and double my fun.

[bicentennial_baby]

9. My Ex...

had an entire, large, didlo slide up his ass and had to go to 2 ERs before he got it out. The hilarious part was that it had batteries, and he had put rechargeable ones in it. Rechargeable batteries were $$$ at the time, so when the doctor removed it, he asked for the batteries back! and got them!!

[CO Liberal]

13. Was She Having a Tryst With Uncle Fester?

:-)

[leftofthedial]

14. whatever, er, turns you on

I kill me.

[Rambis]

15. Truck up the nose

My sister in law is a cop and gets called to escort an ambulance to the hospital because this 5 year old stuck a truck up his nose and couldn't get it out. 45 minutes later she hears that an ambulance has been dispatched to the same location. Guess what, dad tried to figure out how the kid did it and he was on his way to the ER with the same truck stuck up his nose.

[Saffy]

16. Orifice obstructions!

Well, perhaps not the most exiting of orifices, but I've had to take my kiddo's to the ER for a plethora of nasal and ear canal obstructions!

Kiddo #1: a marble in the nose.
Kiddo #2: a peanut (shelled) in the ear.
Kiddo #3: ok, granted this one took some digging, but he managed to get his a shred of fingernail stuck in the soft tissue of his anus. Yes, I said anus..but he was only 1 y/o, and I don't believe it was on purpose. (YIKES)
Kiddo #4: Nothing to garner an ER visit, but she did once choke on a pomegranate seed (Heimlich maneuver saved us an ER visit).

[BigMcLargehuge]

18. locked

before hamsters and other small furry creatures and non-native habitates start showing up in this thread bringing both commandos from PETA and many other militant groups banging down the doors and making wild accusations about me, two flamingos, and a handful of deformed clothespins...

Big McLargehuge
DU Moderator