CO Liberal
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Thu Dec-02-04 06:06 PM
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A Workplace Joke for a Thursday Afternoon |
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A woman is hired at the assembly plant where Tickle Me Elmos are produced. She is told to report to work at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM, there’s a knock at the personnel manager’s door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she’s incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem.
Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and starts sewing the little package between Elmo’s legs.
The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, “I’m sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.”
:-)
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lapfog_1
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Thu Dec-02-04 06:13 PM
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Scrooge
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Thu Dec-02-04 06:13 PM
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That is one that I will pass on!! HAHA!
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bigwillq
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Thu Dec-02-04 06:17 PM
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McKenzie
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Thu Dec-02-04 06:24 PM
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4. aaargh... here's a bad Harley Davidson joke |
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and no, it's nothing to do with grabbing overhanging branches being better than applying the brakes on a Harley.
Harley and Davidson made good bikes but they knew it. When they died and got to heaven they took delight in telling everyone how wonderful their engineering skills were, how perfect their bikes were and, above all, how they never ever made any design errors.
This pissed the entire population of heaven off bigtime and, eventually, none of the souls or angels would engage them in conversation. They'd shuffle off if Harley and Davidson even went near them. This pissed messrs Harley and Davidson off because they just loved telling everyone how wonderful they were.
One day they saw a guy in a white robe with a big beard who didn't shuffle off so they walked over and started to say who they were but this person stopped them in mid sentence saying "I know perfectly well who you are, for I am god". "Oh really" they said, "then you're the guy who made that wonderful piece of engineering we know as man?" "Yeah yeah" said god, "piece of piss, did him in my spare time" "wonderful piece of engineering Mr God but you made woman too didn't you?" "Yes, another little spare time project" "Hmph" said Harley, "From an engineering perspective we think you fucked up with woman Mr God because you put the inlet valve too close to the exhaust valve. Things get mighty confusing, especially in the dark" God thinks about this for a minute, looks them both up and down and says "Oh really? I bet more people ride my products than ride yours"
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DU
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Fri Apr 26th 2024, 04:05 AM
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