Favorite curse? (explicit, don't click if easily offended)

[WilliamPitt]

Leaving off the B-word.

[Journeyman]

1. Son of a Bachelor. . .

n/t needed

[mac56]

54. "Son of a birdwatcher" is also good..

as is "sunk in a ditch"...

and the classic "got dandruff, some of it itches!".

[MuseRider]

2. Kinda partial

to fuckwad and clusterfuck myself. Clusterfuck is just such a perfect description of so many things. However, I try not to curse too much until my son is at school saying worse things that I even know.

[curse10]

3. 10?

:-)

[LincolnMcGrath]

4. Fook Mi or Fook Yu

"Twins TWINS! Basil"

[dolo amber]

5. Big fan of the dreaded

"C" word here...try not to use it much around Americans and/or women as they're so sensitive to it. I fail to see how someone (male or female) who curses like a longshoreman can be offended by ANY word, but that one does it every time. Especially fond of using it paired with any other curse in the form of a verb, i.e. "You c*nting fuckwit!!" :D

[MercutioATC]

10. The C-word does seem to be more of an issue here...

and you're right. I really can't explain why...

[Cheswick2.0]

38. you probably can't explain why because you have a penis

You don't say women shouldn't be sensitive to the word so I will assume that even though you can't explain it, you are willing to be sensitive and not use it. That is all that is required.

[dolo amber]

50. I have a PENIS!?!

:o :o

I KNEW my pants were fitting tighter, I thought it was just my ass getting wider!! YAY!! Now I can fulfill my lifelong dream of pissing standing up!! :D


</not so much having the penis, as it turns out> ;)

on edit: meh, she wasn't even talking to me, and after I wasted all that time on this oh so clever comeback...:(

[WoodrowFan]

91. That's ok

It was funny. :grouphug:

[MercutioATC]

62. You'll get no arguement from me on that...

...no ma'am...

B-)

[radwriter0555]

87. how about, "you can't possibly explain why you have a penis..."

that would be a LOT of fun to use!

[tinnyguy1777]

65. The "C" word???

All that is, is the beginning 4 letters of the phrase, Can't Understand Normal Thinking. Which does definately refer to some women, at one time or another.

[MercutioATC]

83. Extreme example of C-word senstivity:

I'm an air trafic controller. We had a female controller who complained to her supervisor that when she switched a pilot to the next frequency, he replied "See you next time". She interpreted this as "C" "U" "N"ext "T"ime". The supervisor (in our current atmosphere of zero tolerance for sexual harassment) was forced to have the pilot (a gentleman in his mid-50's) call in and had to explain to him that the controller was of the opinion that she had been called a "C" "U" "N" "T". The pilot was shocked and offended.

I don't condone the use of the language, but these things CAN be taken too far.

[JVS]

41. Yeah, it really is the last true swear word.

Back in college we gave one guy that word as a nickname because it was defined in the dictionary as "a very unpleasant person" it described him perfectly.

On edit: by last true swear word, I mean the last word that people are shocked or surprised by. Shit and Fuck have been beaten to death and wouldn't be noticed by anyone anymore.

[thom1102]

47. I have no problem using it...

Cunt, Cuntlick, cuntwad, cunt cunt cunt! No worse than twat, or pussy, or squaw. Why is it any worse than dick, or prick? How about this: dick is used frequently and without a problem, just like how it appears on a man. It's obvious and prominent, whereas the cunt is hidden in hair and the female genitalia in general is hidden inside the woman, as the word cunt is hidden from our daily language usage.

Am I overanalyzing this?

[Braden]

56. C Word

only on men though. Use that around women in this CoUNTry and they go ballistic.

[VelmaD]

6. Fuck..

fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

It's a great word and so very versatile. Almost as good as "dude" for conveying the full range of human emotion. :-)

DV

[xJlM]

7. Have to be...

Go fuck yourself. Wanna know something neat? In Russian, you say that differently to a man than you do to a woman.

[MuseRider]

9. My god

having been to Russia there are not too many women I would have dared say that to!

[xJlM]

18. No, it's the ultimate insult to say it to a man

I'm assuming you know the literal translation. No, I learned a lot of things as far as language while working with a bunch of Uzbekis a couple of years ago, They all speak Russian, but they have their own language as well (Uzbek) which sounds an awful lot like Russian. No swear words in their language, or at least so they say. But then, most of the ones I met were devout Muslims and wouldn't swear if they had a mouthful.

[Samuraimad]

34. Jesus Fucking Christ!!

followed up with a close 2nd of "Fuckin Cock Muncher" have nothing against the family, just very expressive.

[jafap]

36. I usually follow it up with

on a mo-fo crutch.
Or, if I am not quite as mad - J Horatio Hornblower C!

[leftist_rebel1569]

8. This one's pretty close...

but I gotta say Fuck over Shit. Barely though...barely.

[REP]

11. Asshat

[Terwilliger]

12. fucknut

[Bake]

13. The Universal Adjective: Fuck

I refer, of course, to the Pinkard and Bowden song by that name.

FUCK.

It's a verb, of course: Go fuck yourself.
It's a noun: He/She is a great fuck.
It's an adjective: Those fucking Republicans.
It's an expletive: Oh, fuck!
It's an adverb: I'll fuckin' see ya!

Bake

[xJlM]

21. There's a joke by that name, as well

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).

It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck"..

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
1. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
2. Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."
3. Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"
4. Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."
5. Aggression "FUCK YOU!"
6. Disgust "Fuck me."
7. Confusion "What the fuck.......?"
8. Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking shit!"
9. Despair "Fucked again..."
10. Pleasure "I couldn't be fucking happier."
11. Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"
12. Lost "Where the fuck are we."
13. Disbelief "UN-BE-FUCKING-LIEVABLE!"
14. Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!"
15. Denial "I didn't fucking do it."
16. Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."
17. Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"
18. Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"
19. Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."
20. Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"
21. Directions "Fuck off."

It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."
It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty."
It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"
It can be maternal- "Motherfucker."
It can be political- "Fuck Dan Quayle!"

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:
Mayor of Hiroshima "What the fuck was that?"
General Custer "Where did all these fucking Indians come from?"
Captain of the Titanic "Where the fuck is all this water coming from?"
John Lennon "That's not a real fucking gun."
Richard Nixon "Who's gonna fucking find out?"
Anne Boleyn "Heads are going to fucking roll."
Commander of Challenger "Let the fucking woman drive."
Albert Einstein "Any fucking idiot knows that."
Picasso "It does so fucking look like her!"
Pythagoras "How the fuck did you work that out?"
Michaelangelo "You want what on the fucking ceiling?"
Walt Disney "Fuck a duck."
Edmund Hilary "Why?- Because its fucking there!"
Joan of Arc "I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?"
Noah "Scattered fucking showers my ass."
John F. Kennedy- "I need a parade like I need a fucking hole in my head."

http://www.atlantaga.com/fuc.htm

[TreasonousBastard]

27. There is an audio similar to this at...

http://www.amishrakefight.org/gfy/

This site also comes in handy for, ummm.. other purposes.

[dweller]

14. Dipshit

[corarose]

15. Bloody Hell

I have a bad habit of saying it all of the time.

[Terran]

44. "Oh Bloody Hell!"

I like that one too. Very British (I think).

Dirk

[ironflange]

16. Oh phooey!

Oh god damn shit piss motherfucking phooey!

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. Crud...I know pretty lame, but then I can be lame at times, ask my kids.

;-)

[SOteric]

39. Your kids...? I'll be your daughter, who was in the national spelling bee

can spell 'crud.' :7

:hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

75. Why yes, I think she can....

:hi:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

19. Fucking fuck!

[VOX]

20. As necessary, I seem to utter (or shout) the classic "fuck"...

-10-lb. dumbbell falls on your toes? "Fuck!"
-Cut off by an idiot driver? "Fuck!"
-Favorite team loses in a particularly numbskull fashion? "Fuck!"
-Cat throws up just as you sit down with a tasty frozen yogurt? "Fuck!"
-Shoelace breaks when you're in a hurry? "Fuck!"
-Water and power bill outrageously high? "Fuck!"
-6.7 earthquake? "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!"

[populistmom]

22. Various fuck phrases upon pain or annoyance

"fucking prick"
"fucking cocksucker"
"motherfucker"
"fucking bitch"
or simple just
"fuck!!!"

or when I'm really feeling good
"fuck me now" or
"fuck me harder"

[Misinformed01]

23. My husband said to reply that you forgot "Sniveling fuckwit"

you sniveling fuckwit ;-)

[Ladyhawk]

24. I learned mine from the South Park movie:

uncle-fucking ass spelunker

[MercutioATC]

25. Or...

Donkey-raping shit eater...

[TreasonousBastard]

26. Redd Foxx had...

this routine:

They ask me why I use "Shit" and "Fuck."

It's because... people do.

After all, if can't fuck, well sheeeit.

If you can't shit, well FUUUCK!

[Solly Mack]

28. I never go a day without at least 1 fuck

usually more...it's my favorite.

[FDRrocks]

29. Other: Uncle Fucker.

n/t

[sasquatch]

30. Dammit all to hell

[MissMarple]

32. Yes! Now , how about " Good god damn it all to hell!"

Ouch! I didn't really mean it.

[MissMarple]

31. Now, I thought cursing needed to invoke a diety.

:evilgrin:

Otherwise, it might be termed "cussing". Or is that too midwestern/midsouthern, for y'all?

[Skittles]

33. I'M SO F***ING OFFENDED

"Fuckwit" - OK, that one made me laugh.

[Piperay]

35. Shit is the one

I like for all round usage, when I hurt myself or when I get mad, it seems to fit for everything. :thumbsup: :-) Fuck comes in a distant second. :shrug: I have a real foul mouth. :evilgrin:

[JackDragna]

37. Son of a BITCH!

No worse or better than the others. It's my favorite, mostly because of the lilt you can get out of it by placing emphasis on different words each time.

[SOteric]

40. "Fucktard"

It offers a certain gutteral relief.

[Elidor]

42. Dickbump, fuckstick, fuckwit, and my personal favorite...

Jesus Mary motherfucker!!! (best reserved for painful situations, such as dropping a brick on one's toes).

[scarlet_owl]

43. In the immortal words of Father Jack....

Feck Off!

[disgruntella]

45. I love fuckwit

even though i don't get enough of a chance to use it. My second place choice would be bullshit - I'm surprised it didn't get any votes yet.

[Zephyrbird]

46. "Well, F*CK ME!!"

Is my personal favorite.

[radwriter0555]

88. Well that's more of an invitation really...

ahem.

[thom1102]

48. How about this one:

Cocknocker!

[Maine Mary]

49. Mine is "oh my"

Notta curse but that is the beauty of it. Curse words are thrown around so easily these days that they have lost their impact. "Oh my" is so outlandishly geeky and old fashioned that people notice it. :-)

[peekaloo]

51. douche bag

or maybe goose gobbler.

Nah it's definitely motherfucker.

[mrbill]

52. tiny brain wiper of other people's bottoms.

[curse10]

53. Shitfucker

it says so many things...

[Aristus]

55. I'm with Maine Mary on this one. Having spent seven years in the Army,

I've heard just about every curse word and phrase that exists. They just don't have an impact anymore. I remember when you couldn't say 'ass', 'bitch' or 'crap' on TV. Now people say them all the time. I hate vulgarity for it's own sake. God knows, I've done enough cursing here in DU.

Having said that, my favorite exclamation is "Merciful Heavens!" Gets your attention without being profane. Sounds like something an old lady would say. I like to think that a young guy like me saying it makes it sort of cool (he said hopefully.) :-)

[TXlib]

57. I like 'clusterfuck' and 'fucktard'

'Clusterfuck' I got from military friends... often say 'CF' or 'Charle Foxtrot' if I'm not too pissed or in polite company.

'Fucktard' is courtesy of other DUers.

[Wolfman 11]

58. "Like a monkey fucking a football"

is a good phrase to employ when describing a particularly confusing situation.

[Zenaholic]

59. Shitbirds!

That's my fav. with buttnugget as a close second.

[Ediacara]

60. Jerk Ass

a la Homer

[qb]

61. I can't stop with just one.

If you hear a randomly assembled collection of the words in this poll, you'll know I've just dropped a storm window on my foot!

[Uzybone]

63. Stupid Muthafucker

there is no cuss word Ive said more in the last 3 years.

[dsc]

64. Not what you mean

but this is my all time favorite curse. May you lose all the teeth in your head but one and in that one may you have a tooth ache.

[phillybri]

66. Fuck is easily the most versatile....

It's practically a comma!

[He loved Big Brother]

67. Where is the

"CHRIST ON A FUCKING CRUTCH!!" option? ;)

[sexybomber]

68. i prefer creative ones

such as "fucktard" or "cockbag" :evilgrin:

[zekeson]

69. Voted Fuck, but prefer fuckwad

[Bossy Monkey]

70. Does "dagnabbit" count?

Now go to bartleby.com, search the American Heritage Collegiate Dictionary, and hear the supercilious motherfucker who does their pronunciations pronounce "motherfucker". Never fails to amuse (although "teenieweenie" is even funnier).

[_NorCal_D_]

71. 'Ass-hat'

I don't know, it's just a funny word.
:)

[Kat45]

72. Fuckin' motherfucker

[ComerPerro]

73. I like using the word "fuck" to make compound words

Fuckup
Fuckstick
Fuckass
Assfuck
Clusterfuck

[Castilleja]

74. Fuck is said more often,

But motherfucker is my favorite to say!

[ikojo]

76. While I am partial to F*ck....I think sometimes the feeling is

conveyed by strining a bunch of curse words together....

[Avatar13]

77. Biyatch

It can be used in every situation where the term "bitch" is used, but the intentional skewing adds a humorous flavour, which makes it applicable in many more light-hearted real-life situations. For an added dose of humour, say it like "beeeeeeeeeeyatch"

[Ivory_Tower]

78. And for my 1000th post

"dickweed"


Sigh...I had hoped I'd have more profound things to say by now.
Worse yet, post #999 was about Chicken-Dance Elmo...

But hey, at least #1000 was a response to a Will Pitt post! :)

[shugah]

79. yes, i most assuredly agree

altho i am certainly sensitive to language. i have little pitchers about...

[wiggle-room]

80. "You dopey fuck"

I love to say that, if only to myself in the mirror...

[SmileyBoy]

81. Oh, fuck.

I've always liked "cocksucker". I yell it at the refs all the time at Bison football games.

I also like the British usage "Bugger off, you grotty wanker."

[sistersofmercy]

82. Well currently I have to go with f***ing liar, f***ing idiot in reference

to any one of the sneaky pieces of poo in the misadministration but only if I actually witness them speaking. So I suppose it is my tv that bears the brunt of the insult. Otherwise, it's usually "shoot" or "damn it."

[radwriter0555]

84. Miserable fukc and pussy boy... but only when I'm ranting on the YAHOO

political chat boards.

Total potty mouth.

[AlienGirl]

85. Reagan-fuck! Nut-piss! Bitch-hole!

I prefer curses invented by my kids.

Of course, my favorite thing to yell in traffic is, "Goddamn compasshead!" Yes, as in, people who have a sense of direction. (Everybody but me, in other words...)

Tucker

[Padraig18]

86. My personal favorite

"Fuck me running!"

[radfringe]

89. combination

when speaking about a person -

Asshole
Fucking Asshole
Goddamn Fucking asshole
Goddam fucking piece of shit asshole

general exasperation/anger

shit
Fuck
Balls
sucks the rat's ass

or to put it all together

AHHH Balls! that goddam fucking piece of shit asshole really sucks the rat's ass

[leftofthedial]

90. a combo

shitfuck

[WoodrowFan]

92. Question?

Do you mean 1) curse AT someone (say, in traffic) or 2) when I hit my head on the trunk lid getting groceries out of the car?
1) A*****e or Pinhead!

2) GD MFing SOB or my wife's favorite I have picked up F*** a duck!

[lapislzi]

93. Jesus Christ in a jumped-up sidecar!

...or, fuck me, Allah, and a box of cuban cigars

(we like to be colorful in our house. Husband's favorite: "Oh, bat guano!")

[Whitacre D_WI]

94. Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!

Everybody knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?

[mitchum]

95. "I wouldn't piss in his ass if his guts were on fire" always gets my vote

[JohnKleeb]

96. other all of the above among others

[Seneca]

97. fuck a double blue duck!

Good a 400th post as any. :-)