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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:19 PM
Original message
when you're out shopping and your wife / gf says ...
"see this honey, I like that" ..

WHY DO 'some' men translate that to .. Lets buy this .. and say ..
We're not out shopping for that right now, lets stay focused?? ? ?

wft??

is IT a man thing?
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:22 PM
Response to Original message
1. Yes, it's a guy thing.
They are left brained, and are conditioned to be goal-oriented problem solvers. These comments take them away from the purpose of the shopping trip, and they are unable to change in mid-gear. :)

At least that is the pop psychology theory of male/female behavior. You know, that whole Venus/Mars thing? :eyes:
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Pirate Smile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:22 PM
Response to Original message
2. Yes, I've heard it is. We females just like to share information. They
(men) take it that they are supposed to "solve" whatever issue we are bring up - buy it for us, fix it, whatever.

At least this is what the "experts" say.



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Flammable Materials Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:41 PM
Response to Reply #2
10. I think men are programmed to presume passive aggressiveness.
Other men have had it burned into their psyches by mentally abusive ex-wives/ex-girlfriends.

I am one of those men. I'm damaged for life, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
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Pirate Smile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:57 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. That sucks. At least if you are aware of it maybe there is hope.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:23 PM
Response to Original message
3. Because if we don't buy, they'll be pouty, obnoxious bitches
Edited on Sun Dec-05-04 07:24 PM by Rabrrrrrr
for the next three weeks. They know how to manipulate us, believe me.

(I say that partly jokingly, partly tongue-in-cheek, partly with all seriousness)
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:26 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. laughing !!
some women do I suppose .. but for me .. "like" doesn't equal buy it.
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:25 PM
Response to Original message
4. Well some men, and I am one of them, don't like shopping
and thus don't want to make the experience any longer than we have to by lingering and looking at stuff.
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ayeshahaqqiqa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:27 PM
Response to Original message
6. My husband never says that
namely because I can't stand to shop and when I have to go into a store I run in, buy what I need, and run out. We were in KMart yesterday, and while getting my new purse I noticed some gloves. I asked him, "Do you need gloves?" He said, "No." And we left.

I think if I ever saw something I liked, I'd say so and then add that I don't want it now, as we can't afford it. So maybe he doesn't have a chance to do anything about it.
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DrZeeLit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:32 PM
Response to Original message
7. The word "shopping" means something different to men and women.
I learned this early in my current relationship.

We went "shopping" for a new television (ours had died).

I, of course, thought "shopping" meant we were actually BUYING a televisoin and coming home with it.

My husband considers "shopping" an excursion to compare prices, find out what's out there, then go home and stew about it.

We came home, alas, without a t.v., at which point, I had to ask, "What was that about? Why didn't we buy the t.v.?" We had found exactly what we wanted, and we had found the lowest price, which is why I asked.

Needless to say, when I pointed out the differences in our concept of SHOPPING (and explained how I felt about it.... grrrrgh), we were back in the car, toute de suite.

My husband, I found out, loves to MAKE money (investments and so on) and hates to SPEND money (which is why he has a lot of money). I have always figured you can't take it with you.

Hence, we came home with the new t.v., and even though it wasn't expensive and we split the cost (remember, it was early in our relationship)... he had to go lie down in the darkened bedroom for awhile. He really cannot take spending money.

Eight years later, I'm working on him. Really. I am. He still isn't quick with the wallet, and he likes to go out to eat using a coupon, but once in awhile... he actually goes first cabin, like ... he bought us all a pint of Ben & Jerry's the other night (4 of us) because it was a better deal than just buying a cone. I liked that one!

It's a different world -- men and women and SHOPPING.
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:38 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. See I'm more like you than your hubby, and I'm a guy
Edited on Sun Dec-05-04 08:12 PM by Droopy
So I don't think there are really any true stereotypes in regards to shopping.

I really don't like to part with money, either, especially when it comes to big ticket items, like something more than a Big Mac. But I'll be damned if I'll go out just looking for stuff with no intention to buy. If I ever need a new tv, chances are I'll buy one at the first place that has one in the size that I want as long as the price isn't insane.
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DrZeeLit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 09:54 PM
Response to Reply #9
15. That's interesting.
Edited on Sun Dec-05-04 09:56 PM by DrZeeLit
Most guys I know side with him.
Shopping means looking, checking.
While I think it means bringing home the box.

I suppose we all have our preferences.

But he has taught me a LOT about money.
I have no more credit card debt.
I have a lot of retirement savings now.
He's great for knowing about money.

p.s. on edit -- I still like SPENDING money. Just not as into it as I was when I was younger.

And... guess what? He's thinking a flat screen t.v. This is BIG. Still, thinking for him is still back to his definition of "shopping."
However... I'm crossing my fingers for Christmas.
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:38 PM
Response to Original message
8. My husband wouldn't say that.
Knowing my husband, he'd take me by the arm, pull me into the store where I saw the item I admired, and insist that I buy it. I'm the one who often has to say "No, that's not why we're here."

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YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:43 PM
Response to Original message
11. It's a CHEAP guy thing...
And I don't like it.
Duckie
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uncle ray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 07:55 PM
Response to Original message
12. you'd get pretty mad at us if
we drug you to the tool section of Sears and told you we "liked" every single tool there. not that we wanted to buy them all today, but...

remember it's the christmas season, no man wants to spend any unecessary time in the stores!
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-05-04 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
14. My husband likes to browse
I think that it has something to do with having a shop-a-holic mother who took him with her and bought him stuff when he was a child. He does want to buy stuff when I say I like it because his mother bought everything she liked or that he liked. Unfortunately, we don't have much money so we can't do that. Unfortunately, he does anyway sometimes and ends up begging for money from his parents when we come up short. This bothered me for a while, but I figure that his mother is responsible for his inability to delay gratification as to buying something and inability to carefully consider price and value.
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