Is this the worst song ever recorded?

[Phillycat]

Seriously. I really think this is the worst song I've ever heard in my life, bar none. It makes me want to die. It's everything that's wrong with music.

Newsong
The Christmas Shoes

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Chorus:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Bridge:
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about

Repeat Chorus

[mac56]

1. GAAAK

It's like a really bad Norman Rockwell painting.

[Phillycat]

3. I think really bad Norman Rockwell paintings are called

"Thomas Kinkaide paintings".

[mac56]

4. LOL!

:puke:

[elehhhhna]

6. DARN YOU JANESAYS and your big fast brain

[Phillycat]

8. HAHAHA!!!!!!

SCORE!!

[gollygee]

10. ROFL

heheheheh :D

[elehhhhna]

5. by that you must mean a Thomas Kincaid "painting".

[hatrack]

2. Possibly - but let's not forget . . .

"Flowers For Mama" by Whispering Bill Anderson. One listen and you'll know why Willie and Waylon got out of Nashville when they did. It's so bad it's :puke: good.

[J-Lo Biafra]

7. "Butterfly Kisses"

Electra-complex Jesus-freak crap :puke:

[Atlas Mugged]

9. Why do people love to torture themselves with this tripe???

I have relatives that LOVE this kind of crap! Mawkish, overly sentimental, emotionally manipulative rubbish.

[motely36]

11. I really hate this song

I turn it off whenever I hear it.

:puke:

[bleedingheart]

12. why would a dying woman need shoes????

tell me...why!!!!

[Phillycat]

15. I DON'T KNOW!!

I mean, if she's dying from cancer or whatever, wouldn't she be in bed? Is she taking deathbed walks around the neighborhood?

Why? WHY???!

[Plaid Adder]

22. She has to look pretty for Jesus!

Didn't you hear the lyrics? Don't you know that they don't let you into heaven unless you dress up?

@#$!,

The Plaid Adder

[Phillycat]

24. Really? St Peter's checking out your FOOTWEAR?

God, I had no idea. Can I get in with clogs, or do I need strappy heels?

Does Jesus have a foot fetish?

[Misunderestimator]

27. I heard that he likes prostitutes to annoint his feet with oil

and use their hair to dry them... :shrug:

[Phillycat]

29. Jesus, what a freak. No pun intended.

Is that what they call a "foot job"?

[TNDemo]

13. I heard the guy playing it live on the radio here.

It was like carnage on the highway - you know you shouldn't look (listen) but you can't help yourself. It was worse than those smarmy e-mails. How come there is always some kid out on Christmas Eve by themselves in a department store? What kind of parent lets their kid out at night alone to wander around town?

[Phillycat]

31. Yeah, what the fuck is that about?

"Son, you're mother's almost dead here. Good luck not getting abducted at the mall!"

[Mad_Dem_X]

35. LMAO!

[warrens]

14. The sweet baby jesus

Those were only the lyrics. Imagine having that song STUCK IN YOUR HEAD.

You're an evil, evil person. Some knowledge was not meant to share.

[Phillycat]

16. I *DO* have it stuck in my head!

It was on my FUCKING clock radio when it went off this morning!

GAH! GAH!!

[GeorgeGist]

17. I dunno

Ashcrofts 'Let the Eagle SoreSoar' still tops my worst song list.

http://www.cnn.com/video/us/2002/02/25/ashcroft.sings.wbtv.med.html

[Phillycat]

18. Well, is it??

[Plaid Adder]

19. I saw a novel in the grocery store based on this song.

It's a bestseller, apparently.

There's no fucking justice in the world,

The Plaid Adder

[Phillycat]

You are FUCKING kidding me.

Kill me. Kill me now.

[Plaid Adder]

23. Oh, it's real. AND there's a sequel!!

I have never actually heard the song, so I was staring at it going, "They made a novel and a sequel based on a song? That must be some damn song." And now I find out it's THAT piece of...of...of...MUST...NOT...CUSS...CHRISTMAS...SPIRIT...AAAAAUGH!!!

The Plaid Adder

[Phillycat]

28. have you actually heard the song?

You haven't lived until you've heard the music that goes along with these...these... lyrics , for lack of a better word. It's country! Or rather, it's that faux-country that they play on the radio these days!

[sleepyhead]

56. How could there be a sequel?

Didn't his mother die? Or did he have time in the sequel to go out and buy her a purse to match the shoes? Yeah, I know, I'm heading straight to hell.

[Plaid Adder]

25. Here, read all about it and its sister spawn, "The Christmas Blessing":

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0312289510/qid=1102530649/sr=2-1/ref=pd_ka_b_2_1/104-1955056-2003156

From the Amazon.com site:

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Two couples find their lives transformed by a Christmas gift in VanLiere's debut novel, a gooey holiday parable that leaves no stone unturned in its pursuit of tear-jerking moments. Robert Layton is an ambitious lawyer who sacrifices his youthful idealism to become a partner and specialize in bankruptcy law. His ambition backfires, though, when his wife, Kate, announces that she wants a divorce from her often absent husband, throwing family life into chaos right before the holidays. Meanwhile, on the other side of the tracks, another couple anticipates impending tragedy as young mechanic Robert Andrews tries to prepare his family for the coming death of his attractive wife, Maggie, from ovarian cancer. The two families' lives critically intersect when Layton goes Christmas shopping and encounters Andrews's young son, Nathan, trying to buy a pair of shoes for his mother as a going-away present. When the hard-hearted lawyer sees that the boy is short of cash, he ponies up for the purchase. The transformation that follows makes for a heartwarming story, and VanLiere writes some affecting family scenes that contrast the material poverty of the Andrewses with the spiritual poverty of the Laytons. But the story's beauty is marred by the author's nonstop holiday clich‚s in both assorted characters and passages of decidedly preachy prose.
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

Product Description:


Sometimes, the things that can change your life will cross your path in one instant-and then, in a fleeting moment, they're gone. But if you open your eyes, and watch carefully, you will believe....

Robert is a successful attorney who has everything in life-and nothing at all. Focused on professional achievement and material rewards, Robert is on the brink of losing his marriage. He has lost sight of his wife, Kate, their two daughters, and ultimately himself. Eight year old Nathan has a beloved mother, Maggie, whom he is losing to cancer. But Nathan and his family are building a simple yet full life, and struggling to hold onto every moment they have together. A chance meeting on Christmas Even brings Robert and Nathan together-he is shopping for a family he hardly knows and Nathan is shopping for a mother he is soon to lose. In this one encounter, their lives are forever altered as Robert learns an important lesson: sometimes the smallest things can make all the difference. The Christmas Shoes is a universal story of the deeper meaning of serendipity, a tale of our shared humanity, and of how a power greater than ourselves can shape, and even save, our lives.

:puke:

The Plaid Adder

[Phillycat]

26. Oh...oh, god. I don't feel well at ALL.

[Phillycat]

21. Self-delete. Dupe.

[StopTheMorans]

20. 'Barbie Girl" by Aqua is the worst song ever created

:puke:

[shawmut]

42. I agree with you!

:puke: Barbie :puke: Girl :puke: makes :puke: me :puke: want :puke: to :puke: slit :puke: my :puke: wrists :puke:

[VOX]

30. "Pushin' Too Hard" by the Seeds

A vile, 2-chord ditty, most of it "sung" way off-key, with nasal front-man Sky Saxon bleating like a sheep in heat. Dreadful stuff.

How this POS ever broke the Top 40 in 1966 still has me shaking my head.

[Debbi801]

32. The frightening thing is that it was turned into a TV movie...

I caught about 5 minutes of it last year. I think Rob Lowe was in it. It was even worse than the song. Blech!!!

Debbi

[Phillycat]

33. And apparently there's a book!

What the fuck is wrong with this country?

[Mad_Dem_X]

34. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I've mentioned on another thread or two how much I loathe this f*cking song. Especially when the little kid starts singing...:argh:

[Phillycat]

38. Actually, I believe that's a CHOIR of children that start to sing.

FUCK, it's bad!

[shesemsmom]

36. Yes

I heard it once I almost :puke: and any other time I have heard it start to play I change the channel. Who ever wrote that is sick.

[mattclearing]

37. It might be.

You know, I was trying to think of something worse, and a song that I have never heard came to mind.

Britney Spears' first album has a song called, "Email My Heart." I imagine that is probably as bad if not worse.

On a completely different note, the girlfriend laughingly attempted to make me listen to Avril Lavigne's new version of O Holy Night last night. It sounded like Cartman's, only unintentionally funny.

Sorry Avril.

[Phillycat]

39. HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

I've never heard the Britney song in question, but here are the lyrics:

Britney Spears
Email My Heart

It's been hours seems like days, since you went away,
And all I do is check the screen to see if you're ok.
You don't answer when I phone, guess you wanna be left alone.
So I'm sending my heart, my soul, and this is what I'll say:


I'm sorry, oh so sorry, can't you give me one more chance to make it all up to you.
E-mail my heart and say our love will never die
and that I know you're out there and I know that you still care.
Email me back and say our love will stay alive.
Forever, Email my heart.

Whoa
I can see you in my mind, coming on the line
And opening this letter that I've sent a hundred times.
Here's a picture of us two, I look so good on you
and can't you please forgive me for the hurt I put you through.



I'm sorry, oh so sorry, can't you give me one more chance to make it all up to (you).

E-mail my heart and say our love will never die
and that I know you're out there and I know that you still care
(I know that you still care...)
Email me back and say our love will stay alive
Forever (Won't ya say, Won't ya say)
Forever, Forever
Email my heart

Oof, that's pretty bad. But I think "Christmas Shoes" has it beat for just plain :puke: factor.

[mattclearing]

40. Wow.

That's even worse than I imagined.

[silverpatronus]

41. take my breath AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...

both times...

[dean_dem]

43. See, this is why I just don't leave the house during the holidays.

And Celine Dion's cover of AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" is the worst song ever recorded. But this pulls a close second.

[Phillycat]

44. What? WHAT??!?

You're making that up.

[dean_dem]

46. No ma'am. I wish I was.

She performed it at this years Divas Live on VH1. And no, I didn't watch that tripe, the clip was shown later on another show. Complete with the air guitar, the hip-swagger, and the fake snarl. Ugh.

Don't worry, your shock is understandable. After about a week I settled down to the point where I didn't want to punch a hole in the wall.

[Phillycat]

49. Oh my GOD.

I'm learning things on this thread that I could have happily lived the rest of my life without knowing. x(

[Feron]

45. "It's That Simple" by Victoria Beckham (ft. M.O.P.)

Even bad songs at least have some structure to them. However, this song is a nothing but a trainwreck mix of some guy rapping, Victoria Beckham "singing" ,and generic R&B-lite beats.

At least Victoria had the good sense to pull the plug on the project before it was officially released.

[underpants]

47. Clint Holmes's “Playground In My Mind (My Name Is Michael).”

ONE top ten hti that was in 1972? and he is STILL appearing LIVE at Harah's in Veags (he is slightly less advertised than Danny Gans in Vegas).

http://www.theconversationcompany.com/holmesbio.html

[underpants]

48. *ting*

http://www.harrahs.com/our_casinos/las/entertainment/clint_holmes_news.html

[Phillycat]

50. Um.

"Named Atlantic City's Entertainer of the Year three times"...

[underpants]

51. That spells class baby CLASS!

*ting*

That is my wife and my inside joke about cheesy people (like a really shiny tooth sparkling).

[Phillycat]

52. It always scares me when someone describes themselves

as an "entertainer". What exactly are they implying?

[underpants]

53. LOL well if she or he isn't wearing all there clothes....

and you find their picture somewhere usually they turn tricks

If they are one hit wonders still hanging onto the dream....they are in Vegas or Atlantic City (hoping to get to Vegas :scared: )

[ZoCrowes]

54. Wow...

If I ever feel bad about a crappy song I have written all I have to do is read these lyrics and know that someone has written one that is much much worse

[Phillycat]

55. You have to hear it, too.

The music is every bit as bad as the lyrics. I know that's impossible to believe, but let me paint a picture for you. In the middle of the song, a CHILDREN'S CHOIR comes in and sings the chorus. Oh yeah.

[LynneSin]

57. Someone's Knocking at the Door...Somebody's ringing the Bell

UGH!!

Definately not one of Paul McCartney's better songs!!

[enigmatic]

58. Actually "Diary Of An Unborn Child" by Lil' Markie is the worst...

I put it on my "Insane Music Program" and it never fails to elicit "strong" reactions from my listeners...