212demop
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:37 PM
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non-smokers, would you date a smoker or is that a dealbreaker? |
mcscajun
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:39 PM
Response to Original message |
1. A total dealbreaker... |
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...I couldn't deal with the smoking, the coughing (his OR mine), the way the smoke gets into everything and just Clings there (hair, upholstery, clothing.)
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212demop
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:41 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
2. have you ever kissed a smoker? Is the diff. discernable? n/t |
gaia_gardener
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:43 PM
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7. I have and yes it's discernable |
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I won't say it's like licking an ashtray, but you can definitely taste the cigarette. It didn't seem disgusting at the time (15 years ago), but it probably would now.
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da_chimperor
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:52 PM
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15. What if the smoker in question is always well-supplied with minty gum? |
gaia_gardener
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Thu Dec-09-04 10:04 PM
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20. As I remember, it didn't matter what he'd done |
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since he smoked. Not even chocolate covered the taste. I imagine mint would just make it taste like menthol.
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Momgonepostal
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:43 PM
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8. Yes, no offense to smokers but it's vile |
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Someone I dated in high school was a closet smoker. He swore he didn't smoke, but you could taste it on him. It was like smootching an ashtray. Disgusting.
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Bouncy Ball
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Sat Dec-11-04 04:08 AM
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70. Like licking an ashtray |
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it's very true.
But (as gross as this is) I love my guy and don't care. He is very careful about brushing his teeth and using mouthwash.
But I can say I enjoy kissing him much more when he tries to quit. Yum! He gets a lot more kisses then!
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The Velveteen Ocelot
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:41 PM
Response to Original message |
gaia_gardener
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:42 PM
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4. When I was a teenager I didn't care |
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Now, I have to care. Just being around smokers (even if they're not actively smoking in front of me) triggers an allergy attack - lots of sinus pressure and headaches. The longer I'm around them, the worse my headache gets. I'm driving a rental car right now and I can tell that at least one of the prior drivers was a smoker. It reaks when the sun hits it. Luckily, I'm only driving around town and rarely spend more than 15 minutes at a time in it. But my allergies have been awful this whole week.
It would be a total dealbreaker to me.
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TexasBushwhacker
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:51 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
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I didn't really care when I was in college, but the older I got, the more it bothered me, and it's just such an awful habit, both for one's health and wallet.
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gollygee
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:42 PM
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5. I'd have a hard time dating a smoker |
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Edited on Thu Dec-09-04 09:43 PM by gollygee
I'd try to look beyond it, but it is a bit icky.
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bicentennial_baby
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:43 PM
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6. I smoke, my bf doesn't |
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We work with it, it's all good.
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tuvor
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:45 PM
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9. I thought so at first, but I ended up marrying her. |
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Fifteen years later we're still together and happy. AND She's quit for just over a month now.
The only downside I can see is that in my case, I got hooked on a pack a day for thirteen years.
But definitely not a dealbreaker by itself.
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JimmyJazz
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:46 PM
Response to Original message |
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I can't stand the smell of smoke.
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ghostsofgiants
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:47 PM
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11. Not really a dealbreaker, but... |
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I try to discourage them from smoking as much as possible.
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Ian David
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:52 PM
Original message |
Phentex
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:38 PM
Response to Reply #11 |
55. I dated a guy who smoked a little... |
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I mean, he could go hours without smoking. He never smoked around me or any of his family, but he just couldn't quit altogether. The smell drove me nuts but otherwise, it never really bothered me.
I married a non-smoker who likes a good cigar sometimes. Does that make him a smoker? ;)
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snacker
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:51 PM
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FarLeftRage
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:52 PM
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14. Don't care either way... |
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As I have dated both smokers and non-smokers...
Plus, I used to smoke and I have quit a long time ago.
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LincolnMcGrath
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:53 PM
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Nikia
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:55 PM
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17. My husband starter smoking about a year ago |
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At first it was occaisionally. Then it became often. It makes me upset. Even though I know that it really isn't the case, sometimes I feel that he must hate me or something by smoking. He is trying to cut back, only a couple per day. It made me really upset though because I thought that we felt the same way about cigarette smoking.
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Floogeldy
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Sat Dec-11-04 03:15 AM
Response to Reply #17 |
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. . . is it gross to kiss him? Bottom line, is the taste so bad?
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short bus president
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:55 PM
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18. I'd start again in a heartbeat for the right smoker. |
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You only live for so long. If the right person smokes and you can live with 'em smoking and or enjoy smoking with 'em, who's loss is it if life is shorter a few weeks/months/years? Maybe it's worth it. :shrug:
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Gryffindor_Bookworm
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Thu Dec-09-04 09:59 PM
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Hans Delbrook
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Thu Dec-09-04 10:30 PM
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so I can't say it was a "dealbreaker" but it probably made my decision to break up w/ him a whole lot easier than it might have been.
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dobegrrrl
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Thu Dec-09-04 10:30 PM
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22. no way - my mom just died from lung cancer from smoking |
soothsayer
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Thu Dec-09-04 10:42 PM
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23. My GF's a chainsmoker (I don't smoke, except cigars, but I do |
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that outside). It's no biggie, unless I feel sick, and then I'm REALLY sensitive to any toxic types of fumes.
She never tastes like smoke. Amazing!
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Lydia Leftcoast
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Thu Dec-09-04 10:55 PM
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24. Dealbreaker, I'm afraid |
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I find the smell repulsive, especially stale cigarette smoke clinging to clothes, furniture, and especially bedding.
Sorry, guys.
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TroubleMan
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Thu Dec-09-04 10:59 PM
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25. Never bothered me, in fact smoking in general never bothers me |
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I've never smoked, and I've dated a lot of women who smoked....it doesn't make a difference either way.
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tilsammans
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Thu Dec-09-04 11:01 PM
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26. Dealbreaker, and that's that! |
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I lost several loved ones to illnesses that were caused or exacerbated by smoking. It makes me sad to think of how they suffered.
And secondhand smoke? Don't get me started.
Re aesthetics: The stench on the clothes and in the house and car is disgusting. Smoking causes wrinkled skin and darkened teeth. As for kissing a smoker -- yuck.
All that said, I DO acknowledge how difficult it is to quit, and I cut smokers some slack. To a point.
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Cadence
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Thu Dec-09-04 11:05 PM
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The taste is a turn off. Plus I don't like getting the smell in my clothes and hair.
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Samurai_Writer
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Thu Dec-09-04 11:06 PM
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I have asthma and cannot be around smokers AT ALL. Sorry, nothing personal, but I like to BREATHE.
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Wapsie B
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Thu Dec-09-04 11:07 PM
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29. As much as I wouldn't like it, |
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if she were a smoker but otherwise treated me with love and kindness I would worship the ground she walked on. Smoking is an addiction that can be hard to overcome but true love is hard to find.
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miss_kitty
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Thu Dec-09-04 11:08 PM
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30. Chain smoker-deal breaker |
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occasional smoker...If it was Mr Right, I'd kinda cut him some slack. But really, I'd hope he'd quit. I smoked for a long time, and it saps your strength.
And it causes impotence. :(
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NightTrain
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Thu Dec-09-04 11:08 PM
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31. If the worst thing she did was smoke, I think I could live with it. |
donheld
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Thu Dec-09-04 11:14 PM
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32. It is not a deal breaker |
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but it would be close. i hate smoking.
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Kire
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Thu Dec-09-04 11:20 PM
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33. I want to ask a smoker out, but I'm afraid of the smell. |
u4ic
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:46 AM
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leftofthedial
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:47 AM
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but then, I wouldn't datea nonsmoker either.
I'm married.
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progmom
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:48 AM
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36. I think it'd be a deal breaker |
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Hopefully never have to test that theory, as I am happily married (for now, except my hub keeps talking about being a DU widower).
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WMliberal
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:49 AM
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In fact, a girl with a cigarette between her lips won't even get a second glance from me.
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yellowdogintexas
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Fri Dec-10-04 10:34 AM
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38. NO NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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I don't even like to go to their homes
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StopTheMorans
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Fri Dec-10-04 10:35 AM
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39. dealbreaker; more than anything else |
toddzilla
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Fri Dec-10-04 10:35 AM
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no offense.. it's just nasty.
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Hello_Kitty
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Fri Dec-10-04 10:44 AM
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41. My experience as a woman who smokes |
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When I quit, I gain weight, and guys are less interested in me. Hate to say it but a thin woman who smokes is more acceptable than a plump woman who doesn't. I know that's no excuse for my continuing to smoke (though luckily I'm a fairly light smoker - less than 1/2 pack a day) but that's been my experience. It's not the main reason I smoke, but it's definitely an impediment to my quitting.
If you're a guy and you don't like smoking but you do like those cute little size 2 gals, you'd better realize that a lot of them smoke to maintain their weight. Look at most models and actresses. Puffing away like chimneys...
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Phillycat
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:19 PM
Response to Reply #41 |
52. My experience mirrors yours. |
calico1
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Fri Dec-10-04 10:57 AM
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Everything else could be perfect but the smoking would turn me off totally.
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mac56
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Fri Dec-10-04 10:59 AM
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43. Dealbreaker, sorry to say. |
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I just wouldn't be able to get past that.
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Beer Snob-50
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Fri Dec-10-04 11:00 AM
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44. only once did i date a smoker |
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i ended up marrying her and got her to stop (7 or 8 years now).
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SarahB
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Fri Dec-10-04 11:02 AM
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45. Smokers of ANYTHING is a deal breaker in my life at this point. |
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Call me narrow minded or call me a woman who knows what I want and don't want, but it's where I am regardless. :shrug:
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ProfessorGAC
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Fri Dec-10-04 11:09 AM
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So, no. And we're married 25 years in March. So, if i were to be shallow enough for one element to be a dealbreaker, i would have passed on 25 years of happiness.
"Alone in my principles" is not the epitaph i want. The Professor
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amazona
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Fri Dec-10-04 11:30 AM
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47. I dated smokers on occasion |
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Not a problem. Contrary to myth and legend, my experience was that tobacco breath actually smelled pleasant. The smoker has to smoke outdoors though.
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BiggJawn
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Fri Dec-10-04 11:34 AM
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It's not a deal-breaker.
Now, if she was into giving "Dutch Ovens".....
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Hell Hath No Fury
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:05 PM
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49. Total, absolute dealbreaker for me.... |
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I was a smoker for the first 20 years of my life -- against my will. Grew up in a househould of smokers and it just about killed me. I have had allergies all my life and the smoke was like torture. Some of my worst memories are driving to Tahoe in a Pinto in the dead of winter with the windows closed and my Mom smoking for five hours.
When my family was smoking I did date a smoker and didn't find it bad, because I myself was covered with the stink and lived in it everday anyway.
Once the family stopped smoking it was like I'd died and gone to heaven. And my tolerance for smoking dropped to zero. Being around smoke now is even worse than before -- it can make me very sick in a short period of time. Living in SF with its strong smoking ban has been like a godsend for me.
How big a dealbreaker is it for me? Keanu Reeves himself could appear on my door proclaiming his undying love for me and I would have to pass 'cause he's a smoker.
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yellowdogintexas
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Sat Dec-11-04 02:31 AM
Response to Reply #49 |
62. amazing how when you get away from it, it really becomes more |
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repulsive. I also grew up in a smoking household, and all my relatives smoked and heavily. Plus, I am from Kentucky where they grow the stuff. So it was everywhere. Then I went to college and had a nonsmoking room mate and realized how much I truly hated it. AFter I left home for good and lived in non smoking household, etc I became less and less tolerant. My husband, daughter and I are all very intolerant of smoke, in fact when we would spend time at his parents' home, we would come home, dump all our clothes in the laundry and take showers before we even went to bed. I could still smell it in my sinuses the next day!
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fluffernutter
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:08 PM
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Lisa0825
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:11 PM
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51. Total dealbreaker... I have had a couple guys quit for me.... |
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I only started dating them because I didn't know they smoked at first. When I told them I couldn't date a smoker, they said they had been intending to quit anyway. Maybe that's why they broke up with me?LOL! They wanted to smoke again?!
Smoking-related diseases took both my parents at an early age. I refuse to watch anyone else die from smoking again.
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madison2000
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:21 PM
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53. Date with no physical contact closer than 3 feet |
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the smell of smoke gives me a headache and with smokers, EVERYTHING SMELLS like smoke.
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Bunny
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:32 PM
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54. I'm not sure it would be a total dealbreaker, but I'd have second thought. |
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When I finally managed to quit six years ago, I was a very heavy smoker (two+ packs/day).
It wouldn't necessarily bother me if someone smoked, but I wouldn't want it in my house or car. And I'm not sure I'd want to spend a lot of time in their house or car if they smoked in it.
I don't mind sitting in smoking sections in restaurants, but I don't enjoy the idea of spending an evening in a smoky bar/nightclub. Date-type activities may have to be compromised.
So, bottom line: if they are a heavy smoker, it's probably a deal breaker. If they are a light smoker (<10/day) I'd probably be okay with it, so long as they did it outside.
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rbnyc
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:43 PM
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56. Cigarettes? Dealbreaker. |
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Pot? It depends on how often, if the person has trouble abstaining in my house or in proximity of my son, for example.
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212demop
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:57 PM
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58. no- this isn't a pot thread; strictly cigs. n/t |
GOPisEvil
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Fri Dec-10-04 12:46 PM
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57. Normally it's a deal breaker, but...there are certain times when it isn't. |
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So, I'd say, like most things, it depends. :-)
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skygazer
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Fri Dec-10-04 01:01 PM
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59. Hubby smoked when I started dating him four years ago |
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It was a consideration but not a dealbreaker. I would have vastly preferred that he didn't but he was the guy I wanted and I was willing to accept him as he was. He quit a year later and has not smoked since - not, I must add, because I pressured him. I didn't. But since I didn't smoke, it made him more aware of his smoking and he'd flirted with the idea of quitting for some time.
I can understand those who would not date a smoker. Everyone has their limitations. Had he been someone I was less interested in, it would have been more of an issue to me.
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212demop
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Fri Dec-10-04 01:02 PM
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60. The reason I brought this up was in another thread |
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asking what brand I smoke I wrote:
Marlboro Lights, but when I went on a date last week and he saw a pack in my bag it was all over and I realized I might need to quit for the sake of my love life. Not for this guy (though as he went in for the kiss he said, "Is this going to taste like an ashtray?" I said, "What makes you think you're tasting anything tonight?" Still...) but b/c my choices are already pretty limited in Manhattan (single, straight, honest, intelligent, humorous- that's already asking a lot), and I can't afford to limit them more by requiring they be tolerant of my smoking as well, can I? I mean I'm 32 for God's sake. I'm attractive. There's no reason for me to be single. Why have a strike against me before I'm even up at bat?
But God. I really enjoy every single cigarette. Less so, I'll admit since they put this fire safe paper in, but still...
end of that post.... and back to you guys:
The response I got from a fellow Manhattan-ite in that thread suggested I'd have a lot more trouble getting dates in the future... That's why I've solicited your opinions here. I'm appreciating this discussion.
Just wanted to mention that- thanks. :)
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Midlodemocrat
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Fri Dec-10-04 01:03 PM
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WannaJumpMyScooter
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Sat Dec-11-04 02:39 AM
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chaska
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Sat Dec-11-04 02:39 AM
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64. Not even if it was Angelina Jolie. Not even an ex-smoker. |
devilgrrl
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Sat Dec-11-04 02:59 AM
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65. Not even an ex-smoker... |
sir_captain
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Sat Dec-11-04 03:22 AM
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67. if the girl i'm after |
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told me that the condition was i had to let her smoke, i'd be there with a case of smokes in half a second...
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dethl
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Sat Dec-11-04 04:05 AM
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68. If she kept her mouth clean and fresh, |
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and she smoked outside, I wouldn't be bothered. Smoke can stir up my asthma if it gets thick enough.
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Bouncy Ball
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Sat Dec-11-04 04:07 AM
Response to Original message |
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Edited on Sat Dec-11-04 04:14 AM by Bouncy Ball
but when I first met him I didn't know he was a smoker. In fact, he kept that fact from me for several weeks. Meanwhile I fell in love with him.
15 years later, he's still a smoker. But I still love him. I do wish he'd quit, but only he can decide that.....
Oh and on edit...he only smokes outside and he smokes about 2-3 cigarettes a day. I can't tell you when the last time was I actually SAW him smoking. It's been years. So there's absolutely no smoke smell in my house at all. I wouldn't be able to stand that. He is a very clean person and he doesn't smell like smoke except when he first comes in from having one.
One thing though--smokers can use mouthwash, they can brush, they can do all manner of things and you can still smell it coming from their mouth because it's coming from their lungs--the toothbrush doesn't reach that far back! LOL!
But he's the greatest. That is truly his worst fault, so I count myself pretty lucky, though I hope all the time he doesn't make me a youngish widow. :cry:
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TyeDye75
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Sat Dec-11-04 04:44 AM
Response to Reply #69 |
71. I dated a smoker and I would again |
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I smoke the occasional cigar so maybe that has something to do with it.
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Champ
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Sat Dec-11-04 05:03 AM
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Put these things into consideration do you feel the same way? The SO doesn't smoke around you and if you 2 are living together he/she chooses to smoke outside instead of inside. The SO smokes alot less often then he/she usually does around you.
Forget what else I have to add, why does someone's bad habit(very hard to quit) have to be the deciding factor in a relationship? What if he/she does everything he/she can to limit your exposure to the smoke?
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Wapsie B
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Sat Dec-11-04 05:49 AM
Response to Reply #72 |
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I stand by my previous post in this thread.
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happyasaclam
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Sat Dec-11-04 05:10 AM
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73. Definately a dealbreaker |
Piperay
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Sat Dec-11-04 05:20 AM
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*almost* more so than dating repug, the only thing worse would a repug that smokes. x(
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RadicalMom
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Sat Dec-11-04 05:51 AM
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76. I married one 25 years ago |
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But, when I got pregnant the first time (fifteen years ago) he stopped smoking in the house or anywhere near us ever since then. He's trying to quit again now. Fingers crossed.
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NNadir
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Sat Dec-11-04 06:14 AM
Response to Original message |
77. When I was a young man I was crazily in love with a smoker. |
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It seems incredible to me now.
Since my father's death from lung cancer, I can't stand being in the presence of cigarette (or cigar) smoke.
The cigar fad of the 1990's was one of the most revolting and stupid sign of growing national idiocy.
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Wed Apr 24th 2024, 04:45 AM
Response to Original message |