OMG my divorce is almost done-- ask me anything....

[mike_c]

It's been a hellish 6 months and 17 days but the ex finished moving her stuff out today. The house is pretty much stripped, but in the end I'll be alright. The settlement was fair, despite all the ugliness and threatening, and she left my kitchen mostly intact-- even returned some items today that she evidently decided not to keep-- and left me the cats, one of whom is having a love fest in my lap right now. I am truly blessed.

One of the multiple lawtrons will file the paperwork "any day now." Everything is signed and annointed with the blood of innocents. I'm bankrupt, and it turns out that the "protective bankruptcy" was probably not necessary, but hey, now at least I don't have to worry about credit debt any longer, and I can certainly live within my means.

She'll come by on Monday (she still has my car), I'll drive her to the airport, and that chapter of my life will (hopefully) end. I'm just beginning to feel like I can stop looking over my shoulder for the next looming disaster. Experience suggests that's probably premature, but the end is very near.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

1. Congrats! I just celebrated my 4th anniversary (of my divorce)!

Similar situation, protective bacnkruptcy... I am the one who moved out of state, though. I really miss Chicago but it was worth breaking free of the tyranny. If I can offer ONE nugget of advice, stay AWAY from another relationship for a while. I made a horrible mistake and jumped right into a serious one that ended only 6 months ago. Just now am I getting myself back emotionally. Best of luck!

[mike_c]

18. yeah, I'm planning to spend some quality time...

...with myself for a while before involving anyone else.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

20. Good for you!!

:bounce: I am doing that myself. Supplementing with an occasional, um.... snuggle-buddy when needed.

[bigwillq]

2. So you guys have any pets? (nt)

[DS1]

5. Did you even read the post?

Sheesh

[bigwillq]

8. Sorry, I missed that part.

Sheesh to you too. I'm at work and have to read threads quick and post even quicker.

[DS1]

11. There's nothing like being informed

I love that excuse, I read too fast.

Triple Sheesh with ice cream on top back to you

[bigwillq]

14. Well that is the case with me at this moment

Whether or not you think it's just an excuse.

I'm sorry I don't know what it's like to be an expert reader.

[mike_c]

6. five cats, all of which I'm keeping....

She's not happy about that, and we'd agreed that she would take two of them, but in the end she couldn't take them.

[faithnotgreed]

26. my best to you and your cats

i cant imagine what this must feel like for you so i wont try to. but i am glad that the cats could stay in one place with each other. and i wish each of you nothing but goodness and simple joys together.

take good care mike....

[mike_c]

30. in truth, it's a strange mix of regret and relief....

It's been a long rough process, so there's more relief than regret at this end, just as there was much regret at the start of it all. Thanks for your best wishes.

[shesemsmom]

3. I glad it about done

sounds as if it has been hell. Question, I thought you couldn't file bankruptsy on credit card debt.

[mike_c]

7. you can....

I had to do the bankruptcy primarily to protect myself from some serious family debt (hers) that she wanted to me to take responsibility for. She ended up dropping that demand, but in the end I suppose it's still best that I'm off the hook-- she's not very stable and might easily change her mind in a month or two.

on edit: the whole thing was a sham anyway-- she'll never be expected to repay the debt. It was money that her family gave her before we were married, but several years after we married her brother talked her into signing a promisary note for the old debt. I suspect he used it for tax purposes, but that note became a threat since it was dated well into our married years.

[shesemsmom]

10. Thanks interesting

I may need that info if Hubby loses either of his jobs after the first of the year. They are attached to government and we are just getting back on our feet of 2 years of no employment for him. Shit , don't it figure. But Congrats to you and I hope all works out for you as planned

[DS1]

4. I've never been divorced, but if I were you

the first Friday the papers were signed and the deal was done, I'd be cavorting around my house naked like a severly drunken Matthew McCoughnagy (despite the obvious lack of abs) playing my bongos while my dongo dangled free :7

So, got Bongo?

[LincolnMcGrath]

9. Thanks for the visual.

;)

[mike_c]

the word "giddy" will find new meaning...

...when the emancipation papers are in hand.

[DS1]

28. You got your car, you got your cats, I say you head out that weekend

and bring some new ladies into your swinging bachelor pad :7

[dolo amber]

12. Do you like cheesecake?

You said anything... :hi:

[mike_c]

15. it's one of my favorites...

...but seriously, who DOESN'T like cheese cake?

yummm..., cheese cake.

[Wat_Tyler]

13. Why did Napoleon's usual tactical genius desert him at Waterloo?

[mike_c]

16. well, he was married...

...so that undoubtedly explains his loss. Josephine probably carved him a new orifice the morning he devised his strategy, so when he should have been concentrating on defeating the British, all he could think about was "disappearing" on the battlefield and running off to Corsica to hide. Events did not turn out well....

[Wat_Tyler]

22. Ah, but they'd divorced by that point.

He was off with that Polish bit by that point.

[mike_c]

25. lingering effects, no doubt....

eom

[NewJeffCT]

17. have you done any dating since divorce was filed?

I went through a 9 month divorce process from late '99 until June of 2000.

Just wanted to know if you've "gotten out there" yet?

[mike_c]

19. nope-- dude, I'm REALLY not interested at the moment....

I'm actually finding that a bit odd, but the relationship was SO awful that I'm not inclined to repeat the experience. I also realize that's a problem that I need to deal with, but there will be plenty of time to deal with it later.

[NewJeffCT]

21. sorry to hear that

I had never had a 'fling' prior to my marriage, and ended up having several after my ex filed for divorce. I guess I made up for lost time with that & at strip joints. Kind of took my mind off the ex.

[babylonsister]

23. Hey, here's to a new chapter!

You can either be sad or go on. Sounds like you are resolved. Good luck to you!:hi:

[mike_c]

24. thanks-- I'm not sad....

I was at the end of my rope when I filed for the divorce, and although it was still wrenching, I knew then that there wasn't really any alternative. I'd LIKE things to have turned out differently, of course, but they didn't, and under the circumstances getting out is better than staying in, so I'm more relieved than sad.

[AngryAmish]

27. What is the biggest fish you ever caught?

[mike_c]

29. landlocked stripped bass, Lake Murray, South Carolina....

In 1980. It was 427 lbs and it nearly swamped the houseboat. We had to tow it because we couldn't bring it on board, but by the time we got back to the dock it had shrunk down to a mere seven pounds or so. I called a tow truck down to the boat ramp to drag it out anyway, just on principle. I have a photo, of course, but it's kind of blurry....