NOW hear this!!!! I don't care if Jennifer Aniston EVER has a baby!

[Bouncy Ball]

I don't care that Kirstie Ally is still fat!

I REALLY don't give a shit who dumped Lindsey Lohan and I can't even MAKE myself work up a rat's ass about Jessica What's Her Name and her husband...Nick, I think it is? Blond bimbo and her husband who used to do....something?

Seriously. I don't buy the magazines but I do browse through them from time to time. (For the sake of morbidness, and because of damn long grocery store lines....) And what's on the cover of the latest US magazine?

A picture of Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt looking sorta sad.

The BIG GLARING HEADLINE reads "BRAD'S HEARTACHE"

So I think oh? What's this? (Not that I give a shit.) And I flip to page 68, where, after reading the entire four page article, I discover THERE IS NO HEARTACHE. In fact, there isn't even any NEWS. They were married in 2000, there still isn't a baby. The fact that Jennifer Aniston is still NON-pregnant is NON-NEWS.

Oh and I don't care that Julia Roberts just had twins. I don't care that Goldie Hawn looks like shit without makeup. I don't even KNOW who 3/4 of the people are in these rags anymore because apparently you have to watch all the reality TV shows to know who they are nowdays. And I don't watch any of those shows.

More things I don't care about:

1. I don't care WHAT Anna Nicole is doing.

2. I don't care what anyone is wearing unless I particularly dislike that celebrity and what they are wearing makes them look like shit.

3. I don't care that they BUY THEIR OWN GROCERIES and I really don't care about tiny, fuzzy pictures of their spawn. Gasp!

Disclaimer: I did post a thread here just now with a story link about Britney Spears being asked to put her shoes back on during a flight because her feet stunk so badly people all over that part of the plane were grossed out. Now THAT'S good stuff.

Anything you really don't care about that society thinks you should?

[WildClarySage]

1. Nothing you didn't just cover!

:)

[Bouncy Ball]

3. What about all the

NEW DRAMAS on TV? Don't you care SO MUCH about them? All of them? You are supposed to!!!!

[Ready4Change]

2. I miss aliens in market rags.

Remember when aliens would declare in Enquirer headlines "I am carrying Elvis's Love Child!"?

Those were the days.

[Bouncy Ball]

4. Oh yeah man

now THOSE were the days. Headlines such as:

"ALIENS DEVOURED BURT REYNOLD'S BRAIN!" were classic.

Along with pre-Photoshop horribly butchered photos.

[WildClarySage]

7. My favorite ever- UFO LANDS! Aliens reveal amazing 7-day diet plan!

[Bouncy Ball]

8. Of course they do!

Jesus Christ Second Coming Brought To You By The South Beach Diet!!!

[mr_hat]

28. IT'S A COOKBOOK!!!

[yellowdogintexas]

23. Yeah, the Hot Sheets from Men in Black!

[mrbassman03]

25. Weekly World News is the only one still doing it...

I got a year's subscription for Christmas one year... they had some of the greatest articles. Though I have to say, it got old rather fast.

[Catherine Vincent]

5. I hear ya!

But what's this about Britney's feet? LOL!

[Bouncy Ball]

6. Here ya go!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x2192669

[Chipper Chat]

9. As long as Americans buy these rags....

they will continue to be printed. Besides, they are such great tools for 3rd world countries to see what the American life-style is all about (as they are building bombs in their basements).

[Bouncy Ball]

10. That's why I refuse to buy them.

I only peruse them while standing in long grocery store lines.

[WildClarySage]

11. It always struck me as funny

how it was the two fundys I worked with at the local DV shelter who brought in US Magazine and People and left them at the front desk in the office. None of the rest of us ever read that crap, but those two, who were always Jesus this and Amen that, were so into those sleazy rags.

[Bouncy Ball]

13. Oh hell yeah

the biggest fundies I know LOVE those magazines and just eat that shit up. They also watch all the tabloid-ey TV shows. I can't even remember the names of them.......Entertainment Tonight? Is that show still on? (I'm really not a TV watcher.)

One of the biggest Bible beaters I know also drinks a ton, pops prescription pain killers like they're going out of style, has been arrested trying to get a phony prescription filled for them, and runs around on her husband.

Oh but she's a good Baptist and in church every Sunday and busy telling other people how to run their lives.

:eyes:

[WildClarySage]

16. Well, ya know,

Christians aren't Perfect, just forgiven.

:eyes:

[Chipper Chat]

29. To be a "good fundie christian" you must maintain a....

"holier than thou" attitude toward others. And they are the first to narc out a neighbor's kid for drinking a beer or smoking a joint, and for spreading gossip about who might or might not be gay.

[nutsnberries]

12. I don't care about ANY of those things either! However....

I DO care about how many cell phones John Cusack has in his hands while he looks thru the papers at his local Malibu paper stand, and I want to see his bed-head and how big his sweat pants are while he reads the papers and holds the cell phones. Go figure.

btw.... I hate myself for this. :spank:

[Bouncy Ball]

14. Hee hee.

Your last line made me laugh out loud. It's a quandry, isn't it? I mean if I REALLY didn't give a shit, I would never pick up the rags in the first place. I just tell myself because I don't BUY them it's ok. I really shouldn't even give them a second glance.

:spank:

[nutsnberries]

18. yeah, I tell myself the same thing...

and if Johnny ever drops outta site, I'll have no more reason to look! ;)

[Wapsie B]

15. I don't care if Ben Affleck

and Jennifer Garner are a couple.


Don't give me hard-hitting news. Give me happy talk! /sarcasm

[Bouncy Ball]

17. Ah yes

you reminded me of the A-#1 thing I do NOT CARE ABOUT and that is who is with whom this week.

Celebrity marriages are like a big interrelated game of musical chairs. They all end up in bed with each other eventually.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

38. Yes, in college my friend and I noted how funny it was that all

celebrities know each other, regardless of what field of endeavor they came from.

That's what was so amusing about the old Bill Maher "Politically Incorrect" show. Panel discussion with, say, Brooke Shields, Michael Jordan, Henry Kissinger, and Mr. T, about Middle East Policy.

"I pity the fool!"

[Algorem]

19. someone should start a gossip mag that digs up the dirtiest dirt on Repub

lican celebrities only

[Bouncy Ball]

20. Oh God what a snoozer that would be

Chuck Norris didn't get an acting offer again today!

Bo Derek didn't get an acting offer again today!

Drew Carey still not working!

:evilgrin:

[porkrind]

21. Is Chuck Norris a repugnant?

No wonder I can't watch more than 5 seconds of Walker Texas Ranger.

[Algorem]

30. What about,say,Pat Sayjack?Everyone wants to hear about him,OK now

I feel like going back to sleep.It could be sold as a sleep aid,that'll work.

[Left Is Write]

42. Don't forget Angie Harmon, Bruce Willis, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

[yellowdogintexas]

22. I don't care that Hillary is an abused wife; I don't care that

Chelsea supposedly had plastic surgery.

I also don't care about any of the above stuff

I am sick to DEATH of
Jessica Simpson
JonBenet Ramsey
the guy who murdered his pregnant wife
any and all lies about the Clintons and the Gores and the Kerrys and the Edwards and the Kennedys

[anamandujano]

24. "eat jelly donuts and lose weight"

a real headline from way back when and something we should all care about.

--documented in a weird al song--he must have seen it too--i really saw it, i swear

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

26. You out did yourself this time

:thumbsup:

[Oddly Stevenson]

27. I care about Jennifer Annistons' baby......

...only becuase I have "Kiwi" in a "What Fruit Will Jennifer Anniston Name Her Baby After?" pool.

[Bouncy Ball]

31. ROFL!

Now THAT'S good.

[proud2BlibKansan]

32. I don't care what Dr. Phil thinks!!

Has anyone else just about had enough of Dr. Phil?

I am over him in a big way. :puke:

[gollygee]

33. Wow. I just finished reading People Magazine

that I'm subscribed too. LOL. So I could answer all of those!

:)

For me, it's a love-to-hate-them thing. My husband constantly makes fun of me reading them. But then I find him picking them up and thumbing through them!

[mattclearing]

34. Scott Peterson.

Fuck'im. What's with the neverending perpwalk, the made-for-tv movie starring Dean Cain, the ridiculous over-coverage of a sad, sad story?

Editorial license is dead in this country. We have been railroaded by crazed corporate profiteers who see no wrong in preying on our weakness for rubbernecking.

[Chipper Chat]

35. Gawd - as I'm reading your post....CNN is

repeating the "penalty phase horseshit" for the zillionth time. Just because the smiling bimbos (Zahn, Woodruff, Kagen, and especially LIN) are orgasmic over the story doesn't mean it should be shoved down our throats 24/7.

[fluffernutter]

36. great thread, thanks for the chuckles.

:D

[skygazer]

37. The one that drives me nuts

Is the way they all have to speculate if two people are going to get married just because they've been seen together. First of all, who the hell cares? And second of all, why does it automatically translate that you're going to get married just because you've been to a ball game or a club together?

Jude Law leaves his wife and starts seeing some bimbo. "Will they marry?" scream the tabloids. WTF - he's barely out of a marriage - why are they so ridiculously focused on marriage? And why should any of us care?

[Radical Activist]

39. Don't look at the man behind the curtain!

Don't pay attention to the way corporate America is screwing you over with help of their tool Bush! Look over there, a celebrity is doing something funny! haha yes be happy with your gossip mags.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

40. You forgot Scott/Lacy Peterson or whatever the pimped up trial o' the week

is.

Honestly I don't even remember what the last one was. :shrug:

[Left Is Write]

41. But, Bouncy....

It isn't that "society" thinks we "should" care about the lives of celebrities, it's that a huge portion of the population DOES care, IS nosy, DOES want to hear about the trials/tribulations/scandals/heartaches/joys/bad clothes days/bad hair days/diets/etc. etc. etc. of those celebrities.

Magazines like US, People, In Touch, Star and the like are devoted to reporting on the lives of celebrities. It's what they DO. Those magazines sell like hotcakes because so many people like to feed off of that kind of "news." It's the same principle behind Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, and the entire E! network.

Society doesn't think you should care about those things - but enough people do that through demand they've fueled the machine that is the Hollywood gossip industry.

Personally, I think people ought to be left alone. It is none of our damn business when or if Brad and Jennifer have a baby, and if *I* were perhaps trying to conceive, I sure as hell wouldn't want the whole world standing outside my bedroom door waiting to see if the stick turned pink. Who needs that kind of pressure? I do realize that entering show business means giving up a certain amount of privacy, but I also think the rag mags go too far sometimes. I wish they'd back off and leave a little mystery, a little something to the imagination.

[ikojo]

43. I could care less who gets fired by Trump

who gets voted off ANY island
who the latest bachelor selects
who swaps wives with whom
who is the anchor on any of the corporately controlled networks
who or what Paris Hilton is doing

People get their knickers all in a twist over celebrity doings but could care less what the politicians are doing to them!