Santa Claus is dead.

[indigobusiness]

[orpupilofnature57]

1. What sick puppy?And what kind of yogurt was Santa eating?

[indigobusiness]

3. Here's how it happened.

[orpupilofnature57]

4. Damn good argument for gun control, is that shrub bonding with Santa?

[laheina]

6. * killed Santa because the retail numbers weren't up to par.

And he didn't get that train set when he was six! He's a vindictive little cuss.

[skylarmae]

2. I wonder if this child can read the name on the headstone?

and if old enough to read it, the reaction's a bit much, don't you think?

Caption: 'retailer's hell'

[dbt]

5. From the Smothers Brothers, circa 1969:

(Dickie and Tommy) "Oh, you better watch out,
You better not cry,
Better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why,
(Tommy) Santa Claus is dead."

All across this great nation, little children ran screaming from the room while Tommy gave that crazed half-smile that only he can manage. It was priceless, I tells ya!

:evilgrin:
dbt

[indigobusiness]

7. You have a bit of a dark streak...

don't you?


---

"The future's uncertain and the end is always near..."

What is this from?

[dbt]

8. It was forced on me, I swear!

That line is from "Roadhouse Blues" by The Doors, who may be my favorite American group ever.

:hi:
dbt

[indigobusiness]

9. Of course, I knew I'd heard it somewhere...

But they ripped it off, didn't they?

[dbt]

10. Probably.

But if it hadn't been for The Doors stealing things from esoteric places (such as "I am a spy in the house of Love" from Anais Nin) and making hideously attractive songs out of them, I wouldn't have gotten through the late 60s in a very small town.

Wow. Santa Claus and Morrison in the same thread.

Hot dang,
Yin and Yang!

:freak:
dbt

[indigobusiness]

11. Hell yeah. No argument.

And Anais Nin, to boot!

[Deja Q]

12. Well, all it took was a few lowly Tim Allen movies where all he does is

play Santa because he can't play anything else apart from Santa, a bumbler, and a drug dealer.

[indigobusiness]

13. Kick Santa.

[dbt]

16. You have a bit of a dark streak, don't you?

Cancel my subscription to the Resurrection.
Send my credentials to the House of Detention.
I got some friends inside...

:evilgrin:
dbt

[indigobusiness]

17. Blame Nervous Rex

It's his stash.

[NervousRex]

14. 'Santa' gunman dies in shootout

"BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- An armed bankrobbery in Germany by two men dressed in Santa Claus outfits ended in a bloody gunfight in which one robber was shot dead and a police officer seriously wounded, authorities said on Friday."

http://edition.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/europe/11/26/santa.gunfight.reut/

[NervousRex]

15. Yep...he is

[indigobusiness]

18. Sho nuff...

'Santa' gunman dies in shootout

Friday, November 26, 2004 Posted: 1520 GMT (2320 HKT)

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- An armed bankrobbery in Germany by two men dressed in Santa Claus outfits ended in a bloody gunfight in which one robber was shot dead and a police officer seriously wounded, authorities said on Friday.

The festively-attired robbers plundered thousands of euros from a bank in the western town of Ratingen late on Thursday, but ran into two plainclothes policemen during the getaway.

"We were told two armed Santas were in the process of robbing the bank and that they had managed to steal tens of thousands of euros," a police spokesman said.

"The assailants started shooting when the officers identified themselves, prompting fire to be returned," he said.

The surviving would-be Santa escaped, police said.