It's that time again...talk me into getting up off my ass and cleaning...

[Maddy McCall]

my house, which hasn't been cleaned in three weeks, due to me cramming for my PhD comps.

Seriously, I will give a prize to the person who motivates me to get up. Seriously, a prize. I'll send you a Christmas thank-you card.

So motivate me. My house is a nasty wreck.

[Not_Giving_Up]

1. Come on, you can do it!

I ame home on Friday and realized that my house looked as though a bomb had gone off. I'm almost finished. If I can do it, so can you!

[Maddy McCall]

2. I can't even envision a clean house...

I just washed a week's worth of dishes. I hadn't eaten out of them, but my son had. And when he's through, he just piles them in the sink.

So, I did wash dishes. But I have enough clothes in the washroom to pack a dozen washers...and I don't care. There's always a pair of clean sweats around here, and I ain't going anywhere that I need to dress nicely.

I am a slob--I usually keep a clean house, but when it looks like this, I just can't muster the energy to start...too much to do!

:-)

[ogradda]

3. The in-laws are coming! Your mother too!

That's what motivates me every year :)

[Maddy McCall]

4. You think they will clean for me?

First of all, if my ex in-laws even come within 500 feet of my house, I'll get up off my ass ONLY to call the sheriff and have those SOBs arrested.

And my mom? Remember, she raised this slob. She visited tonight to see the baby quails that just hatched, that I am keeping in a brooder in my bedroom. She knows the house is a mess.

Perhaps if Wes Clark or (insert gorgeous actor or politician) were visiting, I might get up off my ass.

:-)

[ogradda]

6. Now i'm envious.

you have a mother who doesn't care if you clean, a son who actually transfers dirty dishes to the kitchen AND baby quails :(

[Maddy McCall]

13. LOL!

My mom does care, but she understands the pressure I have been under.

As for the son, I can't tell you how many times I have removed moldy cups from under his bed.

The baby quails are great! I'll post a photo soon on DU. :-)

[Left Is Write]

8. My mom doesn't care if I clean either.

She firmly believes that life is too short to worry about dust bunnies in corners and whether the towels are folded "right" or not.

She thinks I should relax my standards. I dunno. Maybe she's right.

[Carson]

5. How about this?

Quick! The neighbors called in a complaint about an odor emanating from your house! The Health Department, CPS and the Department of Sanitation are coming over AND they have a television crew with them!

[Maddy McCall]

15. Ok, now we are getting close to motivating me....

:D

[AutumnMist]

7. Well....

I wont try the typical you can be a super person if you clean route. I will try my lab tech history first and my counselor history second. First off....If you have any winter allergies, vacuuming will reduce sinus allergies and/or sinus discomfort. The skin dander alone will add to anything already in your house. Wash your sheets...It will do a world of wonder when you breathe at night. Replace your pillows when you get the chance to do so if you have had them for years. The bacteria that grows in your fridge and/or dishes is like having 200 people who don't wash their hands wipe their hands all over your food and house. Yep, its that bad. It can make you very sick. The bacteria from not washing your hands alone could grow in a petri dish in one day. And its gross. Simply using a new sponge can cut the ick on your counter tops right away. Boil water to reduce skin discomfort if you have any. The moisture helps in dry climates during the winter season. As a counselor I will say that that many people are more relaxed when they have order in their home. Even if you just organize your DVD collection. Hey you will know where the Lord of The Rings stuff is. :) Depression and anxiety goes down when your atmosphere is relaxed and to your liking. And last but not least. You can think all of this is BS and have a glass of wine and think about cleaning in the morning. :) Have a good night!

[Maddy McCall]

16. Ok...yes, I would love to wake to a cheery, clean house...

and that will put me a step closer to getting my Christmas tree up.

[AutumnMist]

24. I Agree.....

I wish I could wake up to a clean cheery house! LOL. Sadly, my computer geek husband thinks cleaning is sorting his bookmarks on the laptop. Do what you want! And just have fun, it's the holidays...and a Christmas tree always adds some sparkle. :)

[Solly Mack]

9. Oh hell...who cares if you live like a pig?

If slopping about in a pig sty is your thing, then live like you wanna live!

I'm sure the smell of your home isn't carried around on your clothing.

Those containers in your fridge are science projects.

Your toilet bowl may not be pristine but since they're your germs, what does it matter? Whose looking anyway?

Those aren't dirty dishes and food containers piled all over your counters...it's inventory and you're just not finished yet.

And I know you want to have a Christmas tree but clothes have taken up residence on your floors. Besides, the clothes are hiding the dirt.

I'm sure if you needed help that people could find you in all that clutter without bringing in the dogs.

Now stop telling yourself your house isn't that bad...yet...and get up make it nice and comfy for the holidays! You'll feel better. A clean house really does boost the good vibes.

[Maddy McCall]

18. Dammit, who gave my grandmother a computer?

Ok Granny, I will get to cleaning. :grr: :-)

[Solly Mack]

21. I thought of things my mother would say to me

:)

[Green Mountain Dem]

10. OK...If you get up off your.....

ass and do a thorough cleaning I will send you a half gallon of Pure xGrade A Vermont Maple Syrup, AND a box of Vermont Snowflake Chocolates. I trust your honesty and will believe you if you say you did the job.

[meganmonkey]

17. Damn! I'll clean, I swear!

;)

[Maddy McCall]

19. OMG! Bribery will get you everything!

Vermont maple syrup would be delish on my Christmas morning Belgian waffles. :-)

Ooooo...and chocolates. Sounds sooooooo good!

[Green Mountain Dem]

27. OK then...repeat after me,,,,,

This is the way we mop the floor...mop the floor OR The mop on the floor goes swish swish swish...OK OK maybe I've been putting too much Rum in the the syrup tonight.

[Maddy McCall]

29. LOL! Ok...I'm up.

I'll be back later, DU. Gotta mop swish swish. :-)

[fizzy_rainbow]

11. all the live-long day

I am a housekeeper by trade. I get up in the morning, clean the rich republican toilets in my area and have to go home and keep up after the other three twenty-somethings in my house, only then it is for free. Unless I'm o.k. with being reduced to a beast and wallowing in our filth searching for some means of survival. You can do it. It can't be this bad!

[Maddy McCall]

25. I am about to get up...really I am...

In an minute. :)

[underpants]

12. 3 hours today-vacuumed, mopped, kitty litter, dishes, computer scrub,

fixed the fallen rod in the closet, hung the clothes back up, made the bed, 3 HUGE loads of laundry(down the street), dusted, straightened out the CD's, watched football, smoked cigarettes, put away the laundry , paid the car insurance and cell phone bill, watered the Christmas tree......hey I am a neat freak.

[fizzy_rainbow]

14. Proud of You!

I didn't even get my ass in the shower today!

[underpants]

20. Oh I didn't shower

Actually to think of it I did, pancake breakfast with my wife.

I showered on a weekend?

[Maddy McCall]

22. Where did I say that I had?

I slept until two this afternoon, and was going to clean and then shower.

I haven't cleaned the house yet, so why shower? LOL! Seriously, though, I am soon to get up and clean and shower.

:-)

[fizzy_rainbow]

28. Ewww

You can do it... at least it's only your own filth, not that of strangers, and conservative strangers at that!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

23. Call someone and pay them to do it...pay Casey to do it

think of it as a gift to yourself. Tell him it's what you want for Christmas :D

[Maddy McCall]

26. Casey had promised to help me...

but he gets sidelined playing with the pets.

I clean much better when I am in the house alone. Maybe I can send him out to play on the trampoline??? :-)

[fizzy_rainbow]

30. if only

if i could i would come do it for you. it doesn't take me long to do a great job, and at least i know you are a decent person with some sort of ideals and standards.

[Zomby Woof]

31. I don't give a shit!

:evilgrin: Live in filth!

[Stinky The Clown]

32. Cleaning is fer shit

Live, laugh, Be Happy!

Shovel some clutter aside and put up yer Christams tree.

Dirty dishes? Toss 'em.

Open some wine, kick back, take a nap.

Hire a maid.

Unmade bed? No problem unless the head stain on the pillow case not only looks bad, but also smells .... then just turn the pillow over.

Life's too short to worry about cleaning .... fuck it.