What's your worst typo Ever???

[ScreamingMeemie]

I once typed Pubic Transportation instead of Public transportation on an appraisal report. Color me red faced. :hi: You?

[displacedtexan]

1. Argh!!!!!!!!!!

As a teacher, I once typed a test in a hurry, and the instructions read: Remeber to check your spelling!

[unblock]

2. when i was first learning to write, my parents put me at the typewriter

and asked my to type my name.
my first and last name i knew how to spell, but my middle name i didn't know how to spell.

so i sounded it out, syllable-by-syllable.

ban (actually, "ben", but with my ohio accent it was hard to tell the difference)
g (actually "ja", but i had just learned that "g" can sound like a "j", so...)
man (actually, "min", but you know, min, man, whatever)

so "benjamin" became:

"BANGMAN"

and obviously, my parents had such a laugh over this one that i remember it to this day!

[arwalden]

13. That Would Have Been A GREAT User Name

[proud2BlibKansan]

36. When my hubby was in 4th grade

he wrote a report on Benjermand Frankland

[koopie57]

3. I renamed a gastroenterologist

Dr. Bowel as opposed to her real name Dr. Bowle.

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. That's hysterical!

:hi: oops!

[miss_kitty]

35. Apropos!

:7

[City Lights]

5. Mine was verbal.

I was teaching a class on the basics of hardware and software. I was going to say something about the hard disc, but said hard dick instead. I quickly corrected myself, but was totally embarrassed.

A friend of mine was playing Around the World during class in 8th grade, and her question was, "Name the Planet that starts with the letter 'U.'" She blurted out, "uterus."

[ScreamingMeemie]

7. O man! The pastor at my daughter's school was blessing the ashes

for Ash Wednesday and began his prayer..."as we bless these asses...." It was very hard for the children, and the deacon, to keep a straight face. :hi:

[City Lights]

16. Where else would asses go to be blessed?

:D

[TOhioLiberal]

38. Uranus, of course!

:7

[jeff30997]

52. In Jerry Fartwell's basement ?

:shrug:

[unblock]

18. to which the response is "close, in more ways than one"

lol

[City Lights]

24. LOL.

In all the years we've been laughing about her answer, we never thought of that.

[barackmyworld]

34. I had a verbal typo too

I was trying to say "coke" but then decided to say "pop" and then for some reason reverted to coke. So, it came out "I am thirsty, can we stop to buy some cock?"

[jeff30997]

53. Where you in the red light district ?

[City Lights]

58. Was your shopping trip sucessful?

:evilgrin:

[rug]

6. Program

for a women's conference listed one workshop as "How to have an organism".

[Zomby Woof]

the time I called you MrsGrandma

;-)

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. And still, all was forgiven.

:7 :hug:

[Zomby Woof]

12. the fact is...

You are neither a grandma or grumpy, so you're just as wrong as I am! :D

[DS1]

Not mine, but the dude who I hired to take over our email

server once sent out one of those typical "We're doing maintenance between etc etc" and followed it all up with

"We're sorry for any incontinence" :D

So, but was from my by proxy ;-)

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. ROFL! Very funny.

There's a red face.

[jeff30997]

54. Deleted

[jeff30997]

55. Was the guy named Rusty Springs ?

[DS1]

66. No, but he did squeak about things now and then

:shrug:

[Texasgal]

8. My husband wrote a nice note

to my Grandmother about a recent trip we took to Colorado, in he card he wrote that he really enjoyed the "Black Ass" it was supoosed to say, "Black Bass"

Very embarassing!

[arwalden]

11. I Typed A Memo About Our Server Getting A Hard Dick Drive Upgrade

... I don't know WHAT I must have been daydreaming about... but the spell checker certainly didn't catch it.

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. So far....You Win!

:toast: Did they ever let you live that one down? I've got tears streaming down my face. :hi:

[arwalden]

20. I Worked There For About 4 Years... And It Was Mentioned

at least two or three times a year.

"Hey Allen... remember that HARD DICK DRIVE memo? That was pretty funny, wasn't it? Hardy-har-har!"

[nini]

39. I actually said that when I was doing tech support

I asked the male customer how big his hard dick was when trying to determine how much drive space he had available. LOL

Luckily he was funny and said "oh about 6 inches" I said good it was good he didn't use those 3 1/2" disks... This was years ago when HDs were about 40MB.

I still laugh at that call.

[Heddi]

15. When I used to type Classified Ads for my old newspaper job

I had two (I used to mainly do real estate ads)


1) Huge House, Big Dick (instead of big deck)

2) Great fixer upper with nigger backyard (instead of bigger backyard)

[ScreamingMeemie]

43. Oh noooo. I laugh at classifieds all the time.

:hi:

[Heddi]

49. Yeah so do I and I USED to say to myself

"gee...what kind of asshole could type such a thing and not notice it"....that was until I started typing in classified ads and some days (esp. the day that was the Sunday Deadline day) I'd have to type in nearly 500 ads or more. It was crazy.

Luckily, no one complained about the "nigger backyard" but we did get alot of calls (all joking) about the house with the "Big dick" ha ha

[Maddy McCall]

17. Not really a typo...I had a hand-me-down student that was bestowed...

on me by another professor who was going to be on sabbatical during the semester--so he asked if I would allow her to come to my class to finish her incomplete.

Well, she was a whiner...I won't go into her excuses for not attending class, not taking tests, leaving class early, etc, but let me say that her excuses were ridiculous.

So, her final straw was sending me an email with a completely laughable excuse for missing a whole week of classes, after she had already missed three weeks. I was forwarding her emails to our department administrative assistant, who was printing them and keeping them to cover my ass.

So, I hit "forward" and typed, "Can you believe this shit? I am so sick of this shit! She's going to fail anyway. I don't know why she even tries!"

And then I hit send.

Well, I didn't hear back from the administrative assistant--so I went to my sent folder, and I figured out what I had done. I had hit "reply" when I had thought I had hit "forward."

The profanity-laden email was sent as a reply to the student. Thank god I was a GA, or she could have had my ass. :-)

So, I am tediously careful now about making certain that I hit forward or reply when I mean to.

And, in case you are wondering, she failed my class and dropped out of college, which is what she should have done anyway.

[jdots]

19. everything I type is a typo 9 fingers and 1 finger typing

dislexic & vocabulary goes down the toilet behind a keyboard.Spell check won't work because it has no idea what the word is to correct. Pubic Transportation is correct in N.Y.C.

[princehal]

21. Piano

I once typed a program for a pianist. Instead of piano recital, it came out (Thanks to spell check) Piano Rectal.

A member of the audience pointed it out to me.

[miss_kitty]

37. sounds painful!

:D

[proud2BlibKansan]

40. We had a Christmas program at school one year

and one of the songs on the program was Angles in the Snow.

[theshadow]

22. Had some close calls...

... but thank God I always caught the error. I used to work for a county department, and in letters sometimes left out the 'o' from the word 'county' somewhere in the text. This was on a typewriter, so no spell-check.

[Longgrain]

23. Not my typo

But a grocery store I worked at once ran a sale flyer with an ad for "Chock Full of Nuts" coffee, only some one forgot the 'H' in Chock...True story it was actually sent out to the public like that.

Should have saved it...maybe David Letterman would have liked it...

[claudiajean]

25. Mine is similar...

...similarly awful.

Made up a couple of big signs on the big copier (24" x 36") with arrows to show a county council member's constituents how to get to the auditorium of a high school for a hearing on local issues.

Minor spelling problem on the normal-sized original. Didn't notice it in my zeal to create signage.

The voting public arriving at the building was confronted with an enormous:

"OPEN PUBIC MEETING"

(this way)



*Sigh* :o

[NV Whino]

26. Mine is literally cast in bronze

My client at the time left me no time to do the job properly, so I phoned in the copy to the sign people for a plaque to commemorate the visit of the president of Catalonia to a winery. Apparently no one understood what a tilde was so señor came out with a nice accent over the "n" instead of a tilde. I think Jordi was also misspelled. I think it was suppose to be Geordi. Confusion with the old "J" "G" "H" thing in Spanish.

on edit: to correct a typo that the computer made.

[warrens]

27. It wasn't mine

I wrote a huge 12-page profile of a very large electronics chain, one you would know since they are on every block now, and someone on the desk did a search and replace on the chairman's name and spelled it WAY wrong.

This would not be so bad except the chain had ordered thousands of reprints. And we named them Retailer of the Year.

I guilted the company into going back to press and printing replacement parts of that piece and mailing them to all our subscribers. But they still looked at me fishy-eyed for a long time, even though I spelled it right.

[mom cat]

28. When I was a sociology instructor, our befuddled secretary typed a

multiple choice test for me. One of the responses to a question about world problems was supposed to be "over population". Instead, she typed "over copulation". I only caught the error after the test had begun...none of the students ever caught it.
Another time, the error was mine. I was typing up a note to a minister which I Typed: "Dead Reverend Smith,"

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

29. not a typo and not mine, but i saw a sign at a gas station today

reading "please place cigerette buds in the ashtray"

i hear that it's best to plant them late so that they don't bloom until after the last frost of the spring

[jeff30997]

60. I'm sure he voted for Chimpy.

[Not_Giving_Up]

73. A sign I saw in a gas station restroom (put up by the management)

"Please being nice to our bathroom - the seat wiped should be"

Is this a cross between Yoda and Apu?

Sorry, couldn't resist!

[CornField]

30. It was the great battle of "Hiro Shima"

You know that famous photo? A local veterans group did a re-enactment. Not wanting to screw up the spelling, I checked my AP stylebook and, for some reason still unknown to me, I looked up Hiro Shima instead of Iwo Jima.

Excellent way to get in the worst graces of the local veterans. I highly recommend it.

----

BTW, this did not win the infamous "worst of the year" award. Another paper in the state, at the top of page one, ran an article about honoring the town's oldest resident. Headline: "Oldest resident honored with plague" The article itself went on and on about the "plague" -- who gave it to the man, who paid for it, who created it, etc.

[Runcible Spoon]

31. heh. this isn't mine, but my sister's and it's funny as HELL

she was IM'ing her friend, saying how she was hung over. She wanted a soda, and said "I need to go downstairs and buy a soda, I LOVE Cherry Cock" (instead of Cherry Coke) :evilgrin:
A bit off topic, but equally hysterical: We used to answer our phone in funny ways (Bob's bar and grill, liqour in the front, poke her in the back) Well, my mom called our apartment once, and got the wrong number. "Hi, Association for Retarded Children" mom: "yeah, lemme talk to the head retard" OOPS! (I think ARC is called something different/more PC these days...)

[progmom]

32. My favorite unfortunate incident happened to a friend

When doing her self-appraisal, she ran out of room on the part of the form where you're supposed to indicate where you would like to see yourself in a year. So it wasn't until her boss sat her down and asked: "Is there something you need to talk about?" that she realized that her self-evaluation said: "Eventually, I would like to become a man" (meant to say manager)
Now if you knew my friend, a distant cousin of *, you would find this hilarious. She's a fundie repug with bangs up to here and tons of makeup. We used to joke that we were polar opposites. So it was super funny that her boss thought that she was using her self-evaluation to proclaim her need for an eventual gender change.

[no_hypocrisy]

33. I did an ad for a Mardi Gras night. Put down "$100 for the best shit"

instead of "skit". Got some calls asking for details how the winner would be judged.

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. That's funny.....

:hi: Great visual from that one! :hi:

[no_hypocrisy]

45. Thanks Mrs. G. You can't imagine how embarassed I was at the time.

Now, I'm kinda proud of it in a twisted way.

[gollygee]

42. Verbal "typo"

At work, someone was talking about how he'd give me a sec (as in second) and said that's probably more time than my husband gives me. I said, "No, my husband gives me lots of secs."

[zauberflote]

44. I have two

But neither are mine. The first appeared in a daily newspaper. I'm in the newspaper business and this one had everyone scratching their heads. What apparently happened was a sports writer called into the night desk following a late night high school wrestling match. The two were probably joking around and tired and one of the two said something that the night editor typed in without realizing what he was doing. The story was never given a final proofreading and went out to 30,000 readers the next day as follows: "(John Doe), sucking cock, won the championship with a pin at..."
All hell broke loose. The paper offered the most red-faced apology the following day I've ever read. Both writers eventually were forced to leave to leave the paper. You had to feel terrible for the kid, who undoubtedly got all kinds of ribbing from his friends.

The other was a oral screw-up. When the great old anchor of WABC News in New York, Roger Grimsby, retired, somebody asked him on air what his worst mistake reading the news was. He replied, completely deadpan as always, "I mispronounced the word 'count'."
It took me a split second to realize what that meant, then I couldn't stop laughing for five minutes. It was the delivery that made it so hilarious.

[CO Liberal]

46. When I Went to DeVry Tech...

..they had an Open House every few months for prospective students. They would show a movie during each Open House called "Six in Electronics", which described siz people who had found careers in teh wonderful world of electronics.

:eyes:

One time, one of the secretaries typed up the program for an upcoming Open House, and they sent themout to the printer. When they came back, it said that there would be showings of a movie in Room 12 every 30 minutes of "Sex in Electronics".

:-)

They had to reprint those peograms real fast....

[RevolutionaryActs]

47. In an IM to someone who is a Mormon, I at one point typed Moron....

:wow:


I felt sooooooooooooo bad! They were a friend from a game and one of the nicest people you could ever meet.... oh lordy I felt bad!

[Mike Niendorff]

48. Worst day ever in Bible class:

Teacher : "Now, the passage says that the Israelites were being held in bondage in Egypt. Now, what exactly does that mean? What was the nature of their bondage?"

me : "Physical bondage ... you know : whips, chains ... "


(Needless to say, the image communicated was entirely different than the image intended.)


MDN

[hyphenate]

50. I can't really think of a worst one

However, I used to have a sticky keyboard before I got the ergonomic one (which, BTW, is fantastic and doesn't bother my hands as much) and I always was typing knkow instead of know. ALWAYS. It seemed my finger kind of brushed against the k a second time, and it was always having to be corrected. I even had to put it into "autocorrect" in MS Word in order to get it to stop.

[progmom]

51. I think my favorite gaffe was verbal

I was back-announcing a classic jazz piece and referred to it going down "in the anals of jazz". This is the one and only time I have totally lost it on the air. I had to just pot the microphone down and start the next song.

I got a lot of phone calls on that one.


:)

[barackmyworld]

56. PHOTO Typo

Oh man, I forgot about this. My senior year of HS, the Chicago Public Schools had a HUGE awards assembly at a fancy downtown hotel. This 40-foot sign was displayed in front of 700+ people. They definitely weren't giving out grammar awards:

[JohnKleeb]

57. I corrected it but

When I was in 5th grade, I had to do a project on family traditions and one of the things I was writing was "Sled rides at the ditch" theres a ditch on the other side of the neighborhood where everyone goes sledding when it snows so I typed "sled rides at the bitch" but soon corrected myself.

[jeff30997]

63. I wonder how many peoples...

Would have gone sledding in Ann Coulter's backyard.

[Cadence]

59. This one time I typed "your"

and I really meant "you're"

[barackmyworld]

61. omg how embarassing

[Cadence]

62. I know it really was and I didn't know this at the time

but apparently if you do that, it means you are undateable, illiterate, incompetent and unintelligent. It's serious flamebait, so just be careful out there. ;)

[NashVegas]

64. It Wasn't My Typo, But It Was Hysterical

no pun intended.

In 7th grade US history class, the answer to a certain question on a pop quiz was "Virginia."

I had the pleasure of collecting everyone's paper, and came across .. do I really have to spell it out?

Ah, the Freudian slips of 12 year old boys.

[Skittles]

65. personal assets became personal asses in a memo

:(

[Zomby Woof]

68. Are you going to kick my personal ass?

Please?

[Z_I_Peevey]

67. Worst that I did not catch: tangential became tangenital

Worst that I caught and corrected (but gave us a few laughs in the office): The Singing Ledbetters became The Singing Bedwetters

(I was 'in the zone' typing like a madwoman. Who knew my subconscious was a prankster?)

[Samurai_Writer]

69. Double-lick...

instead of double-click, when writing a software user manual...

1. Double-lick the icon.

I still have that manual around, somewhere. I'm surprised it made it through editing without anyone catching it.

[Tracer]

70. Not mine either!!

I used be in the newpaper business.

- One day, I opened up the paper and saw a two-page advertisement from a "big chain" that was advertising mens' suits (in 100 point type!) ....... only it said "MENS' SÑITS".

I am not joking.

- The other one wasn't exactly a typo, but more of a stupido.

At one newspaper I worked at, we produced many, many club ads. The clubs wanted the size of the type to reflect the importance of the singer/band, so they would indicate that the headline act's type would be 100%, the second banana would get type 75% of the headliner, and the cleanup act would get, say, type 50% the size of the headline act.

I opened up the NEW YORK TIMES!! one day to the Arts section ...... and there was a club ad that went like this:

Big Star 100%
Almost Big Star 75%
Up and Comer 50%
Noone you ever heard of 25%

[WMliberal]

71. So I made a new version of my resume.

So I didn't proofread it close enough, since much of it was copy and paste. On the section supposed to be titled: Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities.... I spelled "Knowledge" K-N-O-L-E-D-G-E.

Thank Koresh it only went to one company before I went to proofread it again.

[obreaslan]

72. I once put up a sign advertising..

a "Seminar for those working on 2nd and 3rd shits"

Obviously, spellcheck didn't catch that either.

People kept asking all day if it would be better to hold the seminar in the bathroom instead of the canference room. :D

[motely36]

74. I have two that are all my own

First, in a theatre newsletter, I wrote an article about a woman who was nominated for life membership. While listing her various credits, I said she was an Italian couch instead of an Italian coach. Ten years later she won;t let me forget it.

The second one was much more Freudian. I was the secretary at my church for several years and we had a priest leave us. I wrote in the bulletin that "after the service, there will be a reception in horror of _______." I never liked the man and he was a horror. Most of the rest of the church did not appreciate it.

[BurtWorm]

75. Jew Jersey

I didn't do it, but where I work, this typo, which actually went out in the association news letter before my time, is legendary.