Choosing the sex of your baby - would you?

[sbj405]

I'm sure this has been discussed before. In today's Washington Post http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A62067-2004Dec13.html . I do not have any children yet, but am confident that I have the ability to love a boy or a girl. I can't imagine being so obsessed about it to go to these lengths and expense.

[bryant69]

1. I wouldn't do it, but it's not surprising that people would

And I'd be curious to know how often each sex was picked.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[sbj405]

2. Yeah, I am curious what happens when their handpicked boy

doesn't want to take over the family business. Or decides that football isn't his thing, he'd rather do ballet. I worry about the expectations that parents would have if they are willing to go so far as to select the sex of their child.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

3. well, i would want to KNOW the sex before birth

just not choose it...knowing the sex of your coming bundle of joy (and agony) makes the whole planning the house phase a little easier.

Having said that, when I was younger I always thought I would want boys...you know...to rough-house with fish and camp and all that stuff. But our first little one is a little girl. And you know...I would LOVE to have all girls now...she is awesome! I wouldn't reject a boy in any size, shape or form...I have just had my eyes opened to how great parenting CAN be!!!

theProdigal

[phylny]

6. We DO have all girls (three of them)

and I wouldn't trade them in for a boy any day. Having said that, we have nephews that we absolutely adore, and I'm sure we'll enjoy our grandsons.

The truth is, we never, ever cared - even my football playing, hot rod loving, motorcycle riding, he-man of a husband. People AROUND us cared more. After our third daughter was born (a daughter who was NOT conceived as a try to have a boy, but who was conceived because I didn't feel like our family was complete), it was amazing how many people asked us if we had been "trying" for a boy, like there was something defective about having girls. One mother actually said, as I held my beautiful infant daughter in my arms, "Were you very disappointed that she wasn't a boy?" I looked her straight in the eye and said, "Yeah, we're giving her up for adoption and we're gonna try again until we get it right." Then I walked away.

Of course, if given the ability to chose the sex beforehand, we never would have - AND, we didn't want to know the sex of the baby before birth anyway.

I think this technology IS good for people who are carriers of genetic diseases that would affect a girl or a boy. Then, if they know that only boys would have or carry the disease, they could conceive girls and not worry about it, or vice-versa. But choosing for other reasons? I dunno, it seems kinda icky to me.

[Iris]

16. Couldn't you just have a white, yellow, or green nursery? Then you

could use the same stuff for all your children.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

18. not with my wife...

:-)

she is a decorating fiend...everything has to be just-so! It is a problem... :-) furniture is different...colors are different...stenciling is different...

theProdigal

[Iris]

19. Yuck. n/t

[ProdigalJunkMail]

27. nah...it's actually kind of fun

for while she loves to plan things out in advance, she is still nimble enough to make changes on the fly...part of what makes our lives interesting...

theProdigal

[Iris]

34. Whatever floats your boat. eom

[Southpaw Bookworm]

24. Can't you fish, camp, etc., with a girl?

Or is there some law against it that I haven't heard of?

[ProdigalJunkMail]

28. oh...absolutely!!!

but I just had this preconceived notion about boys and girls that has now been removed...that's all i was trying to point out!

theProdigal

[AliciaKeyedUp]

4. Yes

I choose no sex until he or she is 18. :)

[Killarney]

5. No.

[noonwitch]

7. I would, to choose the order of my kids

There would be advantages-maybe I want two girls or two boys, so I don't have to buy a lot of new clothes for the second one. Maybe I want one of each, but the girl or the boy first for various reasons.

I'm almost too old to have them, anyways. If I was to only have one, I'd want a girl, if I had a choice.

[JNelson6563]

8. No, I wouldn't care

I didn't even know the sex of my kids before they were born. I don't care. Both were healthy and that was what mattered to me.

I have a girl and a boy and I am crazy about them both.

With plagues, pestilance, famine and war going on in the world, hard to get worked up over what sex my child would be.

Julie

[Debbi801]

9. No Way.

[Ilsa]

10. It's one thing to wish, it's another to manipulate.

Here's a reason my doctor mentioned: the way it works now, supposedly the strongest spermatozoa makes it through the ovum. I know it sounds silly with millions of sperm swimming around the ovum, but I'd rather have the best one make it, not be eliminated because it carries the wrong chromosome.

[latebloomer]

11. I did!

Had a boy first, who is beautiful and delightful, but had always longed for a baby girl, and boys run in my husband's family.

No way would I have gone to high-tech means, but I did follow the suggestions in a book called "How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby"-- which involved, for a girl child-- sex a couple days BEFORE ovulation, missionary position, no female orgasm.

The theory is that the sperm that produce girls are slower-moving but hardier, while the boy-producing sperm move fast but die quick. Therefore if you want a girl you have sex a couple days before ovulation-- so by the time the egg drops the boy sperm have mostly died out. If you want a boy you have sex right at the time of ovulation.

Scientific? I don't know-- it was worth trying, and it worked for us!

[rbnyc]

30. I was going to try that...

...because I wanted a girl, but we decided we liked our Do-It-All-The-Time method better. Now I'm so glad I have a boy. I never would have thought it would feel so right for me to have a son.

[Deja Q]

12. I think that choosing the sexual orientation would be more apropos. And

even then, I am disgusted with the concept of genetic manipulation.

God made us all. What God seemingly forgot to do was tell us that we're supposed to live and be civil with each other. That or God tried and those in power refused to listen.

BTW: The article demanded me to send them personal information. Fuck that shit, which I've noticed seems to be far, far more common with minor US-centric sources than major foreign ones; we already know the major US sources do that already...

[JerseygirlCT]

13. There are medical circumstances where this is a

wonderful thing. But generally speaking, no -- it doesn't matter.

[LWolf]

14. No, but

I sure as hell would like to be able to choose the sex of the foal when I breed my mare. I wish they'd find a way to "separate" y chromosome sperm from the x's.

When it comes to people, I'm fine with my 2 boys, now men. I'm fine with my 1 grandson. I'm more concerned with whether or not people will make good parents than I am with what sex a baby is.

[Iris]

15. They had a segment about this on Dr. Phil yesterday.

Basically, the wife is a ballet teacher and she wants a little girl to teach ballet to. Dr. Phil said no way would he do it because he'd be afraid she'd walk in 15 years later with green hair screaming obscenitites at him and he'd have to blame himself for engineering the whole thing.

In my opinion, he missed the obvious point - basically these people are bringing a life into the world with a certain expectation. I don't think that's fair to the child. Suppose she hates ballet?


on edit: I forgot the other reason this woman wants a daughter. She wants to
"teach her manners; something I think is lacking in little girls today."

Talk about playing God.

[Feathered Fish]

22. I'd have to agree with you

Choosing the gender of a child is another control mechanism. The parents have a set of expectations that could certainly be torn down once the kid is old enough to make decisions. This is a precarious situation that could affect the parenting of this child in the future. What happens if this kid doesn't want to take over the family business, will that lead his parents to guilt him into things he doesn't want to do? Will they hold it over his head and remind him that his very existence as a male was engineered by them, and he must do what they say? It's a little worrisome.

I am not saying that this is a given, but it does set a stage for potential future heartache.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

17. i want to adopt in my mid thirties

and i want to adopt a girl. so i guess i am choosing.

[CornField]

20. There are people prone to pass on genetic disorders to one sex

I definitely have no problem with those couples using this technology to choose the sex of their offspring. Why should they have to wait until 16-25 weeks along in the pregnancy to know if the child will survive?

[Turd Ferguson]

21. Probably not

maybe if I had like a bunch of one sex and finally wanted to have the other sex, though.

[Southpaw Bookworm]

25. No one's questioning THEIR need for it

I think the issue is people who want to choose a girl, so that they can have a homecoming queen, or a boy to take over the family business, because according to the first couple mentioned, girls can't do that. And what happens if the kid doesn't meet their expectations or doesn't want to? Or if the kid turns out to be the "wrong" sex: Are the parents going to resent them because they spent $40K to have a son and now they're stuck with this lousy girl, or are they going to terminate the pregnancy?

[robcon]

23. I would have done it.

I have one boy and one girl, and that is ideal. I would have chosen a girl for the second baby if I had the chance - though I got lucky 19 years ago.

A second son would have been fine, but my baby girl was a special gift to me.

[ComerPerro]

26. Maybe

I am not married now, but can easily picture myself marrying my current girlfriend, who is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me.

But, anyway...

Suppose we have two girls, and decide to have a third child. I would really like to have a son, so I could see the value in choosing the sex of the child. Or, vice versa, if she wants a daughter.

So, assuming the procedure was safe for the mother and child, then I might consider this.

[Bleacher Creature]

29. No -- in retrospect it was fun not knowing.

I hated not knowing every minute of the nine months and tried to convince my wife to ask the doctor -- but in the end, the suprise was great.

[AngryOldDem]

31. No

Having gone through two miscarriages and two subsequent stressful pregnncies, worrying about the sex of my babies was the last thing on my mind. All I wanted was a healthy baby.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

32. no

[shanti]

33. after four sons

yes, i would opt to choose my baby's sex. i wouldn't pick the sex of the first one (or two), but if they were both the same sex, i would pick it for subsequent children.

unless you were in a similar situation, you have no idea....

[phylny]

36. I WAS/Am in the same situation, and to tell you the truth

with two girls, and one on the way, I was perfectly happy with the idea that it might be a girl. Lo and behold, she was. I wouldn't have it any other way, and if I wanted a fourth, a girl would be just fine.

[shanti]

37. well

three of my sons were from first marriage, last one from the second. i fervently wanted a daughter, which i failed to get :-(. my sister is in the same boat - 4 sons. she finally got a granddaughter, which i pray happens to me!

of course, i'm happy that my sons are healthy, but i REALLY REALLY wanted a daughter. there's just no comparison. sons leave, daughters (usually) don't.

oh well....such is life :shrug:

[phylny]

40. Maybe so.

I guess I'm coming at it from a different perspective, but I hadn't thought of it from the "A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter the rest of her life" angle :)

[Dear Maggie]

35. What about probable birth defects?

There are some of our 'gulf war vets' from the first gulf war with 'the syndrome'

and some young men have reported very low sperm and some are having difficulty having children.

One posed the question, after what could have caused it ...
that maybe it would be best not to have a child ...
maybe it would have birth defects

(& True - some have)

What advice would you give

... if it was the ethylene glycol monobutyl exposure they had
www.valdezlink.com/same.htm
which is suspected of causing birth defects

[tranche]

38. i'll wait until it becomes chick!

... then comes.. on Fox.. "America! Build a Baby!"

[City Lights]

39. Not a chance.

I've always wanted two kids. I married a man who wanted the same number. Neither of us cared one way or the other what kind we got. We just wanted them healthy. We have one of each.

[Nikia]

41. Probably not

There aren't any serious sex linked diseases that run in my family (baldness and color blindness aren't too serious). I believe that children will become who they are and I would actually prefer more balanced children. I don't think that there are any activities that we wouldn't do with a child based upon gender. I suppose though if it we did pick the gender of our children though, I would prefer a boy and a girl. I think that opposite sexed siblings raised fairly helps promote gender equality and good adult relationships with members of the other gender by giving them an equal peer of the other gender.