What Will Replace The Color-Coded Terror Alert System?

[Plaid Adder]

Tom Ridge is apparently now thinking that they might get rid of the color coded alert system now that it's "served its purpose" (i.e., gotten Bush re-elected). So *now* how are they going to warn us that THE TERRORISTS ARE COMING?

[demnan]

1. I like the idea of the gong

I think I'll get one just to annoy the neighbors.

[arwalden]

2. Scratch-N-Sniff

[Deja Q]

3. They'll be replaced with catchphrases...

Things are too peaceful, so that's why we nixed this one.

Things are smurfy, so we're not using this one either.

Sock it to me and bring it on!

There is an elevated risk. We've heard some chatter, though none of it is reliable. But, in your best interests, stock up on duct tape and Depends.

We are under attack!!! Stay home and be sure to shop online. And if you're wearing Depends, don't you dare dispose of them outside - you will be arrested for committing a terrorist act.


Oh, I'd say Sesame Street characters but that's been done, so.............

[Sabriel]

4. I prefer a take on the Daily Show's use of dramatic music

So, Level 1 would be something like the Jetson's theme song, all the way up to Level 5, which would be the Darth Vader theme. They could interrupt local radio programming and Muzak to play it.

[soupkitchen]

5. How about a "drink' code

Low alert, white Wine or spritzers
Medium alert, beer or ale
High Alert, The Hard Stuff
Nuclear Attack, "Fuck it, give me another"