Ladies: How much younger than you would/could be your limit when....

[bettyellen]

dating a guy?
sleeping with a guy?
having a relationship with a guy?
Just wondering, met somebody who's actually a few years younger than, ehem, my general comfort level.

[shesemsmom]

1. It always depended on the guy n/t

[skygazer]

2. He has to be legal

That's about my only limit.

I base it more on the person themself than any arbitrary limitation like age. I've known quite young men who were very mature and some quite old men who were hopeless children.

In practice, I've never dated anyone more than 30 years older than I and I've never dated anyone younger than 20 years younger.

Does that help?

[bettyellen]

7. wow, okay that sound fair... but you see ...

but he invited me to a party and I don't think I can do it. I may not fit it.. Too scared of it being like that Mary Tyler Moore episode when she dated the cute guy from Richman Poor Man!!

[skygazer]

8. If you don't feel comfortable with that

It sounds like you probably shouldn't do it. But if you're interested in the guy, maybe suggest you do something just the two of you at first rather than a group gathering. You may find that you are pretty comfortable with him and that might make it easier later to be in a group.

[bettyellen]

10. good idea, i should probably skip the party...

it's just too much to be a new person and a much older woman both at once. simultaneously. yeah. that could be pretty weird.

[Left Is Write]

3. I don't know - depends on the person, I suppose.

I married a man who is eight years younger than I. When we married, he was 23 and I was 31.

[CornField]

4. Actually, the older I've become -- the less it has mattered

My husband is five years younger than me. I remember that it use to be a big deal... now it is hardly ever discussed.

[Dorian Gray]

5. I kissed a guy once who was three years younger than me.

My husband is a month and a half younger than me. Other than that, most of my dates/boyfriends/sexual relationships have been with men who are two years older, though usually between 4-7 years older.

I never had a "rule" about it... it's just the way that it worked out!

[Dastard Stepchild]

6. hmmmm.......maybe 5 or 6 years.

I've done that... but the six year difference was kind of pushing it for me. of course, this particular gent was a tad juevenile in many ways. :)

[bettyellen]

9. Oh five years doesn't bother me.. this one has proved to be twice that..

which was shocking, he just doesn't seem so to me.

[Dastard Stepchild]

25. yes... seems to be that age is very subjective...

in my case, I've not met people considerably younger than me that would make a good partner. BUT.. that's not to say that the situation can't exist :)
Plus, I think as I get older, this could change. I was dating a 19 year old when I was 24. Very different from a 29 year old me dating a 23 year old. well..... depends on the person :)

[NC_Nurse]

11. I don't think about it in terms of years...

has more to do with maturity....as long as they're legal of course. When my husband and I got together, he was 22, and I was 33. We are now 32 and 43. I think we have a great relationship and he is not sexist and emotionally immature like so many of the men I know who are my age or older.

Besides, women live a good bit longer than men generally and peak sexually later than they do too! ;-)

[bettyellen]

16. and i am peaking real soon !!

[blondeatlast]

18. 12 years here, and we are going on our 8th year of marriage. nt

[Cadence]

55. That's a really good point

about not being as sexist or immature as older generations. I've noticed that too. The younger generations are more open and weren't exposed to the old school mentality. It makes a big difference.
I dated a guy that was 8 years younger.

[the Princess]

12. The answer to all those questions is the same

18 years old. That's as young as I go damn it! I SWEAR! LOL

[mcscajun]

13. Youngest guy I ever had a relationship with was 11 years younger than me..

...and it was fantastic...while it lasted.

[SOteric]

14. For me, it's not a number of years

so much as a level of compatibility.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

15. i am 26 so 2 years younger at most

[blondeatlast]

17. Marrying a guy? 12 years, which is how much younger my gorgeous, wonderful

husband is than me!

[bettyellen]

19. that's encouraging... thanks!

[flamingyouth]

20. Don't get hung up on the age thing

If you really feel a connection to this guy and sincerely like him, just pursue a relationship the same way you would with anyone else. It took me a long time to come to terms with my own fears about dating someone younger, but it's turned out to be amazing. He's 15 years younger than me. There have been challenges, sure, but it's also great.

My friends have been amazingly open-minded about it (at least to my face). People who care about you will want you to be happy. :)

[bettyellen]

23. sounds like good advice... thanks !! nt

[frictionlessO]

33. Well said!! my wife is twenty years older than me and we are

going on 81/2 years January 27th. There's things to work through but yeah anyone gives you shit just look 'em in the eye and ask if they care about your and your mates happyness...

My family was thrilled when they met my wife, almost more thrilled than I was when I met her!!

[flamingyouth]

36. I heard a good line about this very subject...

It's from a book, and went something like, when someone asks if you're his mother, answer, "His mother? Oh no, she's much younger. I'm his girlfriend." ROFL

I'd never say it, but it sure made me laugh when I read it. :D

[frictionlessO]

40. now thats something my wife would say... funny enough we're so

touchy feely in public that its pretty hard not to know!!

[bettyellen]

44. Aw that' s so sweet... good for you! !

[fluffernutter]

67. i'm attracted to the person, not the age. as long as we connect

intellectually and have chemistry, it's cool. i don't mind a guy younger or older, either way is fine as long as he is self-confident and mature.

[WindRavenX]

21. The answer to all three is 25

I don't care about age at all- I actually prefer older men- but I've discovered it just isn't worth the bitching from my family about my older boyfriends.
I'm 19, FWIW.

[bettyellen]

22. so you are not allowed to go much younger either!

[WindRavenX]

27. LOL true

Then again my experiences with men in the same age group as I (18-22, college aged) have not been pleasent.

[bettyellen]

32. when i was 22 i dated a 19 year ols and got so much grief!! he's teenage!!

blah blah... but i loved him instantly, and so it didn't matter at all.

[Divernan]

24. Depends on whether either of you wants to have kids.

When I was a divorced 40 something with three kids, I turned down dates with childless guys under 40 - couldn't see wasting either of our times. Even if a guy wasn't immediately interested in having kids, the chances were high, if he was a normal, mentally healthy person, that he would eventually want to have a family. If he didn't like kids enough to want his own, he wouldn't be that great to have around my kids. Now that my kids are long grown up and off on their own, my significant other going on three years is a widower, ten years younger than me. He is silver haired and looks older than he is; I have always looked 10 or more years younger than I am. He has two kids in college (and they like me). The thing is we have many, many shared interests - diving, biking, cooking, foreign travel - same political beliefs and religious non-beliefs. He is the best friend I've ever had. The statistics are that women live ten years longer than men, and in my family women live into their mid-90's. My health is better than his. We talked about it and we decided to take our chances with the age difference.

But it takes a guy with a strong degree of self-confidence to do this, because a lot of men will ride him about dating someone older. Funny - one of our acquaintances who is a bitter divorcee, and has said to my guy(just last August) that he would NEVER date a woman of his own generation (and he was a professor dating women 20/30 years younger) has just announced his engagement to a woman professor who is a few years older than him! Like the movie Love Actually, says, Love is all around.

[bettyellen]

30. Interesting... i dated a guy 8-9 years older and he said he didn't want

to date anyone the same age as him... he knew my age mind you, but he considered us the same age, and i so begged to differ!!
i think beause he was well off, they lop off a few years in their minds!! LOL!! and so he could happily date someone 1/2 his age too. i guess. weird.

[RebelOne]

26. Most of the guys I dated were at least 4 to 6 years younger

then me. I could relate to younger guys more so than those of my own age. In fact, when I was 30, I dated an 18-year-old for a very short time. But that was too much of an age gap.

[Samurai_Writer]

28. I'm 44 and female...

I would date, sleep with, and/or have a relationship with a guy who was 28 or over. I prefer dating guys younger than me, for several reasons.

[put out]

31. 44 and female here, too.

I could go 15 years younger. I think I might get along better with men at that age than 15 years older. Maybe. The want-a-baby would be a deal killer for me, and for the younger, non-existent man in question.

It's a moot point. I'm married, and dating is frowned upon in my social circle.

[bettyellen]

37. the not having a baby is a deal killer with a lot of men already...

i'm not willing to second guess a guy who says he doesn't want to have babies.. if he changes his mind, so be it. i think that's a danger with any man that doesn't already have a load of them anyway. but i can't not see someone becasue they don't already have kids.
that leaves too few of them left for me!!

[frictionlessO]

41. nah dont by into it so much, I knew from a fairly young age

my baby making days were not gonna happen. I always wore a condom. I have enough responsibility keeping myself alive and sound!!

Plenty of guys out there that dont want children... trust me, and plenty of them wont change their mind.

[bettyellen]

45. thanks, i always figure, i have to take them at their word... peoples

wants can change regarding any aspect of their lives. so you can never be 100% sure anyway.

[frictionlessO]

46. yeah I just think it always come down to the individual involved...

ya know?

[Cerridwen]

29. 6 years so far; for all of the above. Any more than that and I start

to feel like Mrs. Robinson; or Jennifer I-forget-her-name in that Summer movie, the name of which I also have forgotten.

Criminey, having a senior moment discussing younger men! :-D

I also agree with the previous poster about children. I don't want children and am now too old (possibly) to have them. So that's an issue regardless of age; though it's something I worry about with younger men rather than men my own age.

[Skittles]

34. LOL, my limit is no one born past the 60's

to me it would just feel too strange dating a guy if I was old enough to be his mom. That being said, I have very rarely dated a guy older than me.

[bettyellen]

43. darn he was born in 72 ! LOL !! but he looks older.....

i guess i'm just looking for permission at this point!
LOL!

[JanMichael]

35. This is Stephanie

and I am four years older than Michael. NEVER dated younger men in my life---but, my GOD he's cute!

[bettyellen]

38. go for it, four years is nothing!!

[JanMichael]

47. Well she did go for it, we're married!

BTW this is Michael posting on my own ID...

[JanMichael]

52. I hope it's not!

I married him a year and a half ago! ;)

One of the first DU marriages

[Nikia]

39. I met my husband when I was 19

My husband is less than a month younger and was actually the youngest guy I dated. I only dated a few guys though who were 1-2 years older. The youngest guys that I wanted to date were 2 years younger.
Now I am 26. If something happened to my husband, I don't know if I would have a problem dating young guys. I still get carded often and am probably less serious than I was when I was 19. I think that I agree with my sister who is 2 years younger and single, a guy who she seriously dates must live independently. Some guys in their late teens and early twenties are effectively children.

[bettyellen]

42. He's not living with his parents or anything! he's 30 , and probably

more of a grown up than i am in some ways!

[Left Is Write]

53. 30 is good.

My husband is 30 and I am 38. The older we get and the longer we're married, the less we feel the age difference.

[samplegirl]

48. When i was 27

I met a guy that was 20 and we dated for quite awhile. I never really
noticed to much difference as he was so mature for his age. He owned
his own home worked all day and attended engineering school in the evening. We were really good together. The only thing i can really
remember a difference with was his taste in music.
I was actually the one who called it quits I felt he had met me and
never really gave himself the chance to date much. He married
just two years later and is still married to her today.
Hes a hard driven workaholic type guy has a successful career selling
commercial real-estate adopted a child from Guatamala & is really
kinda miserable in his marriage as she trys to be controling so he
says.
We were very compatible and would of been very happy being married
and regret it sometimes. I had a child and felt he needed to have
the chance to have his own and i really didnt want anymore.
Anyway..........we are still great friends and we shared alot together
greatful that we still have the friendship we vent when we talk.

[SarahB]

49. It depends.

I have lived a lot of life in my mere 32 years. I honestly can't see having much of anything with someone under 30. I might go out with him if he asked and if we were otherwise compatible and try to keep my mind open, but I wouldn't sleep with someone unless we had enough of an emotional bond that we could consider ourselves in a relationship. There's no hard and fast rules, but from my experience, I'd prefer someone on the same wavelength as myself for anything. I don't find most men younger than me I'd be interested in for an actual relationship in all honesty. I don't find many men period I'd want to have a relationship with.

I am me and you are you and follow your own gut. If you like this man and find yourself compatible, give him a chance at least.

[tjdee]

50. Jamie Bell is 18, so there's where I'd start--however, I do feel weird.

In the trailer for Undertow, whoa, I wouldn't mind having that kiss me goodnight. I'm about 10 years older than he.

As for noncelebrities and reality, I'd say about 5 years back. I don't see myself having much in common with a kid who's a senior in high school. Plus, I have a child so I'm sure an 18 year old isn't gonna be hot for me!

As I age I imagine an age difference of 10 years won't mean as much.

[brook]

51. Don't have time....

to read the whole thread - but I'll jump in anyway- I've had a bevy of husbands - the one who was 16 years younger than me was probably one of the best. IMO, age is a superficial standard imposed by the thought police. (For clarification: Not one was underage!)

[Catherine Vincent]

54. My bf is a year and a half younger than I.

I could probably go as far as 5 years. As far as sleeping with a guy, he has to be at least 20.:-)

[bettyellen]

56. oh yeah well, they really have no idea how to

get in on until they're at least 20 or so!
LOL!

[nini]

57. age doesn't matter... mind, maturity, passion, intelligence,

sense of humor do.

I wouldn't date a 19 year old, but say 10 years younger is ok if he's on the same page as me on most things.

[Zomby Woof]

68. it helps

If he hates god! :crazy: ;-) :evilgrin:

[Bouncy Ball]

58. Eh....

Dating? Gotta be at least my age or older or very mature for his age (I am mid-30s).

Relationship, same thing, I really prefer older than me, but the keyword is MATURE. If he's in his mid 20s and incredibly mature then that works.

[bettyellen]

61. i hardly dated 20 somethings when i was 20 something....

but guys in their 30's. that's the common thing. i guess there's just a lot more of them out there!

[radwriter0555]

59. I'm 44 this past birthday, and my last long term bf was 8 years younger

than me... he was great. We're still friends.

I don't look my age at all. I'm quite a hottie with no wrinkles or sagging or fat thing or grey hair going on.

And I'm just 27 in my heart!

Age is irrelevent.

[fortyfeetunder]

60. Once again street legal

Most of the guys I dated or hung out with were younger than me. Or the younger ones were always attracted to me when I was growing up. I was worried about jailbait. Therefore, had to be "street legal"

OTOH, the spouse is older than I by a few years but he certainly does not act his age...

[BellaLuna]

62. I'd have to go older....

Guys younger than me are too young. Older guys are ok but not anyone old enough to be my father. :D

[SiouxJ]

63. I would go 10 years either way

(older or younger) for most of those things. Beyond that it gets a little weird IMO. I tend to be attracted to older guys though. Maybe that's my problem. :shrug:

As for the younger guy you've met, I say go for it! Have fun!

[Cobalt Violet]

64. As long as he isn't jail bait.

In theory anyone old enough is old enough. But I can't say that I really would be attracted to someone so young.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

65. I've dated someone ten years younger than me

When I first took up with someone six years younger (I was in my late twenties), I was a bit uneasy about it, but one of my friends asked, "Does he know how old you are?"

"Yes."

"Does he mind?"

"Doesn't seem to."

"Then why should you?"

So that's the philosophy I followed when I went with the guy who was ten years younger. I was 35, and he was 25.

[Catherine Vincent]

66. ...

18 to 80
Blind, crippled or crazy,
If they can't walk, I'll drag 'em

[Kat45]

69. I've been with a LT f*buddy who is 15 years younger than me.

But it wouldn't be relationship material, unfortunately, because one of his "goals" in life is getting married and having kids. I'm just about too old for that now, and I was never interested in kids anyway. I tend to be more interested in younger guys, but the biggest problem is that I often manage to meet guys who are very interested in having kids; it was a problem when I was younger, and the problem continues today.

[bettyellen]

70. yeah, i am not a breeder either, so it's always been a thing......

i know how that can be.