Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Holiday Eating Tips

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-17-04 11:23 AM
Original message
Holiday Eating Tips
Edited on Fri Dec-17-04 11:24 AM by ET Awful
1. Avoid  carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're  serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like  fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer  than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it.  Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole  point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4.  As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk.  If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic  transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort  to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.  Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the  time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food  and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really  good at a buffet table,like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and  size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you  can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded  with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If  you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you  haven't been paying attention.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
kslib Donating Member (485 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-17-04 11:38 AM
Response to Original message
1. ROFLMAO!
Can I pass this to a friend of mine?

:yourock:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-17-04 11:40 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. Of course, I just got it in e-mail myself :) n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Fri Apr 19th 2024, 03:04 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC