Kids say the darnedest things (and consequently embarrass their folks!)

[Maddy McCall]

I posted this in the silly joke thread, but since these are true stories, I thought they merited their own thread. Follow up with your true "kids say the darnedest things" stories.

This is a true story, happened in my hometown.

The baptist church broadcasts their services on the local radio LIVE. The pastor has "children's church" during the regular sunday morning service, in which he calls the children to the front and tells them a simple little bible story.

On easter sunday about 8 or 10 years ago, he called the children down, and he said to one little girl, "You sure look pretty today, Anna, in that dress. Is that a new Dress? It is pretty." Anna replied, "YEs, it's new, but my mother doesn't like it cuz she says it's a bitch to iron."

ON the radio, broadcast to every car and living room in the town. LOL!

And, here's another embarrass the parents story.

At my son's school, a little girl brought her mother's, er, stimulator, ur, vibrator, um, DILDO to school for show and tell. The parents removed the child from the public school the next day and enrolled her in the private school in the same town.

These things really happened. Kids truly do the damnedest things, eh? LOL!

[Supply Side Jesus]

1. My niece snitched out her grandpa

He was is Vietnam and brought back some thai stick, and has been growing the same shit for over 20 years. Anywho, they were discussing Mary-Jane and the evils and such...you know the effective DARE program. So she pipes up that her granpa smokes the weed. Her mom, who is a high school teacher just about died on the spot.

[Maddy McCall]

3. OMG that is hilarious!

ROTF! How did the DARE folks handle it?

I smoke cigarettes (outside, not inside--secondhand smoke and all), and my son came home one day to tell me that his teacher asked students with smoking parents to raise their hands. Then she told the kids "Your parents are drug users." Well, she wasn't counting on my son's response. He asked her if she drinks coffee, and she said yes, and he told her, "You are a drug user too!" (I have always talked to him about the fact that there are chemicals in everything, even brocolli, and that coffee and soda pops are addictive because they have caffeine, a drug, in them, and that's why I don't let him have soda. Anyway, that PISSED me off that teachers are labeling parents druggies. They even told kids to call the cops if they find pot in their home. Showed them joints and baggies with pot in them so they could recognize it. I understand that it is good to tell them about the evils of smoking and doing drugs, but to have the students rat on the parents is SHIT to me.)

[TlalocW]

2. I consistently embarrassed my mom...

Throughout high school. The best one was on senior wrestling night. The parents of the 3 seniors on the team (I was one) were supposed to come, stand up when announced, and get a flower from their child before the matches started. Mom snuck out to have a cigarette and missed the ceremony so I went up to the teacher who was doing the announcing for the ceremony/matches and asked him to do me a favor.

When my mom walked back in, the teacher said in his best boxing announcer voice, "And now... Entering the gym by the north doors... Mrs. Neva W, mother of Jaaaames!"

All eyes were on us as I went up to give her her rose. She said that she would never leave any room that we were both in outside of our house. :) She was a good sport though... She was very much the practical joker when she was in school/the workforce.

TlalocW

[Maddy McCall]

4. LOL...I embarrassed my dad really badly once...

When I was in high school, I borrowed his insulated vest one night to go to a bonfire. I snuck it back into his closet and he never knew I had worn it...until he was at a football game standing around conversing with about of ten of his gentlemen friends.

He reached into the vest pocket and felt a foreign object that he couldn't figure out what it was. So he pulled it out of his pocket in front of all of his male friends. It was a Tampax super tampon.

He almost killed me when he got home!

[FireHeart]

5. Way back when...

my daughter was about 4 years old, we had a Siamese queen who we wanted to breed. Every so often, she'd go into "heat" and we couldn't find a comparable male to mate her with. We *tried* to explain to the kid what was happening, but obviously she didn't quite get the explanation...

One day, I was on the phone with a friend from my computer club. A few minutes later, my daughter picked up the extension phone and yelled..."Dad, the cat's on fire again".

Oh man. Talk about having to explain things...and got the queen spayed real fast.

:evilgrin:

[Rowdyboy]

6. My partner's 4 year old nephew....

25 years agom informed a room full of relatives "My daddy shares his cigarettes".

Some 15 years ago, my goddaughter-then four-was very bright. I had been quietly dating her uncle for a few months but we had broken up. One night when the whole family, the Uncle and me included, were having dinner, Katie stopped all conversation by saying, "Steve, why don't you and Billy get married?"

My response, "You'll have to ask him Katie" was a cheap dodge!