Was this guy the most tolerant parent on earth?

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

I just went to Movie Gallery to rent some DVD's for the weekend. A man was there - an obviously wealthy man, impeccably dressed, who arrived in a late-model, fancy car with a "W The President" sticker.

He was there with three kids (each called him "Dad" or "Daddy" at least once) picking out DVDs. The 8 year old (approx) girl was dressed in a very expensive outfit, black leather shoes, white tights, beautiful green skirt and frilly white blouse. The 10 year old (approx) boy was in a pair of khaki slacks, a very sharp white shirt. Both had perfectly coiffed hair.

The 13 year old (approx) boy was wearing black jeans, neon-yellow high top Converse sneakers, a black t-shirt with a vulgar saying on it, spiky black hair with green tips, and EYE MAKEUP. Mascara and eyeliner.

The father was really good with all the kids - very affectionate, laughed a lot, very kind, gently vetoed the R-rated stuff they wanted to rent but let them pick out other stuff in its place.

I was basically in shock, *especially* when I saw that W sticker.

Maybe there's hope for the world after all.

Oh -- and this is Blood-Red State, USA.

Damn.

[roguevalley]

1. he loves his kids. He won't spend forever in hell, just a little while.

:+

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

3. Think that'll shorten his stay, eh?

You may be right. :)

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

2. I don't care if everyone has me on ignore. I'm kicking it anyway! HA!

:kick:

[Zomby Woof]

28. NEVER on ignore

I was on stage, dammit! ;-)

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

33. Did you see my message to you in the "Hey ZombyWoof and Fenris" thread?

[Zomby Woof]

46. yes!

:o :loveya:

[HuskiesHowls]

4. But it won't be HIS fault

when the 13 yr old gets older, lands in jail and tells him where to stick it!!

Its going to be the fault of all the left-wing ideas he got from the "internets" and all those subversive movies.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

5. What?

Why do you think a 13 year old who's allowed to express himself is going to end up in jail?

Do you have a problem with this guy's parenting? I think it's astounding - theirs is obviously a family where appearances count for a lot, but he is still letting his son be who he is.

And the problem with this is.....what, exactly?

[Left Is Write]

6. I'm with you.

I don't see anything wrong with letting a teenager express him or herself in harmless ways through appearance. Stifle the kid, or force him into a mold he hates, and you'll be fostering the kind of rebellion and anger that will be more likely to lead to trouble.

Understanding the kid, letting him be his own person, guiding him, and loving him - THAT'S good parenting.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

7. I was a little confused by your earlier post.

Thanks for clarifying. :-)

[Left Is Write]

8. That earlier post wasn't me.

That was someone else. :)

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

9. Jesus. I am confused.

Sorry!

[HuskiesHowls]

11. The way that I see it,

at 13, the kid is getting pretty radical (spiked hair, eyeliner and mascara?).

Now, for a little background, I grew up in rural Central Iowa, was taught to think for myself, BUT, I also learned that respecting my parents is shown by honoring their values.

What I read into this, is a kid who is aggressively rebelling, and will soon be getting into major trouble as his rebellion grows, especially if there is almost ANY type of attempted correction.

I see disrespect for the values that this gentleman is trying to teach.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

16. ROFLMAO

Since when are liberals all about the young submitting to the values of the authority figures? His father voted for W -- is it disrespectful if he joins a Young Dems club or expressed support for Kerry this year?

Furthermore, where the hell do you get rebellion from? These kids were all happy and cheerful and just as affectionate with their dad as he was with them. He wasn't sullen and stomping around. It was actually a very nice family moment.

You get all of that out of CLOTHING and makeup? I was pretty amazed by the father's tolerance for difference - what, you're saying the W-voting rich dad was TOO TOLERANT?

What board did I stumble onto today, huh?????

[HuskiesHowls]

20. NO.....

NOT Submitting.....Respecting!!! a HUGE difference!!

If the father is that tolerant, he won't mind his son in a Young Dems club....I know that I don't mind that my son is a registered Republican.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

21. A HUGE difference?

What's the difference? His dress means he isn't "respecting" the values? So in order to respect the values, he would have to do WHAT, exactly? Dress like them?

What the HELL is the difference between submission and respect then?

Tell me exactly what he would have to do to "Respect" the values -- he's already got a loving and affectionate relationship with his dad. So, if not that, what?

[miss_kitty]

30. I think the kid is respecting the family's values.

It's obvious. The family's values are, as demonstrated:

Respect yourself and others.
Don't judge people on their outward appearance. That's not who they are.
Express yourself, the way in which you feel is best for you.
Behave well in public.

JMHO
I'm with you, GB. It's too weird people find a 13 year old kid expressing himself with a little colour in the hair, wearing vibrant clothing and having some makeup on to be threatening to them.

I like your OP.

[Left Is Write]

37. Well said.

:thumbsup:

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. Oh, bull-the-fuck-shit

"Disrespect for the values that this gentleman is trying to teach" - bullshit. How do you know what values the man is teaching? Doesn't seem that enforced homogeniety is one of his values, and thank God for it. Seems that love for children, and allowing them to dress like they want, are his values.

Obviously, neither one of us knows - only the father knows. But since the father didn't seem to be taking issue with the clothing/outfit/outlook of the 13 year old, I think it's a safe conclusion that the father felt there was no disrespect for values being shown.

Knowing some guys like this, it is rather likely he's voting republican purely for economic reasons, not for rightwing bullshit "christian "values"" reasons. The guys I know like this - wealthy, dapper, and republican - tend to be socially somewhat liberal in terms of not demanding that their children or wives submit to them, and not demanding that everyone and everything in the world be exactly like them in order to be considered "valuable".

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

29. Thank you!

That's exactly the impression I got - he voted his wallet and surely mocks the fundamentalist wack jobs every Sunday morning as they drive by, if he can see them from his golf cart. :7

[miss_kitty]

31. Perfect

Perfect answer, Rabrrrrrr.

:hi:

[Left Is Write]

36. But I don't see spiked hair, eyeliner, and mascara as having anything

to do with "values."

Why do you read aggressive rebellion into the kid's actions? If the father appears to be okay with his son's appearance, what would the kid be rebelling against? Do you assume when you see a young person similar in appearance to the one described here that he or she is a troublemaking kind of person?

[Tsiyu]

45. Ummmmm there could be all kinds of reasons for the look

Youthful experimentation, adolescent desire for individuality, kid is in a band, was in a play ( my son was pulled over recently and also had on the Goth look and makeup-he had been in a musical that evening), the dad doesn't MIND the kid's self expression.

There is a mindset among the elite as well: allow the child to buy fringe stuff to keep them tranquilized and assuage parental guilt over not being around.

I am not offended or scared of the "Goth" look, personally, and know many "Goth" kids who are sweeter and have better morals than the Abercrombie and Fitch Preppie kids.

[TexasLady]

10. I almost think that people who DONT CARE

one way or the other are worse! To be indifferent to me, is a much worse way to be sometimes.

Living in Bush country, I have learned to tolerate an awful lot of viewpoints...I swear it is mostly the media that put us all at odds..I mean, I am related to a lot of conservatives, and I dont care to be at war with ALL of them!

W stickers are rampant here, and I stick out like a sore thumb, but for the most part, I have been left alone.

Most of the conservatives are pretty cool here, as long as we leave the chimp out of the conversation!

[Mabeline]

12. Sorry, but no way is my 13

year old gonna dress like that as long as me and Dh are buyng the clothes, we'd find out the problem and work on that.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

15. What problem?

A male child who wants to dress like himself and wear makeup?

I don't see a problem for anyone unless they object to the gay overtones?

You're new here. Hint: we love gay people here.

[Mabeline]

18. I don't see it as gay overtones, I really

see that the child has a problem and is doing it for attention.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

19. Why?

Why is it a problem?

That kid likes his hair spiky with green tips. I like my hair with a ribbon French-braided into it. Do I have a problem? Am I doing it for attention?

I wear eye makeup, too. Am I in rebellion against society?

No? Then it IS the fact that it's a MALE child, isn't it?

Edit: typo

[miss_kitty]

24. why is wanting attention bad?

it's just clothing. Not car theft. Not shooting off a gun in a schoolroom. Sheesh. Why do some people think everyone has to look the same?

[Left Is Write]

38. Why do you assume there is "a problem"?

Why are we making judgments about this boy based on his appearance?

When I was in high school in the 80s, I dated a guy who wore eyeliner and earrings. He was a kind, honest, respectable guy, eyeliner or not, and he grew up to be a kind, honest, respectable member of society.

What "problem" are we talking about?

[gollygee]

42. There isn't necessarily any problem

Geeze when I was that age I cut my hair to 2 inches all over (I'm female) and dyed it blue.

I didn't have any "problem" - kids rebel in one way or another. I'd rather my daughter rebel with her appearance than in some of the other available ways.

[miss_kitty]

13. As a kid who grew up in a household where my style was not allowed

I say bravo to those parents. My mom and I spent so much time in a power struggle over how I was going to present myself, we wasted valuable time and energy we could have used to get to know one another better, and how she could have spent that time guiding me into adulthood a bit more smoothly.

And there was no end of pain I got a school, dressed as my mom wanted me to. And I'm not talking radical on my part either. I mean 8th, 9th grade, no leg shaving, no nylons, no makeup. Skirts below the knee (first go round for minis) no knee socks. Anklets and saddle shoes.:eyes:

Pretty much a dweeb with a real unhappy puberty/young adulthood.

ON Edit: fix typo

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

17. Exactly.

Major kudos to the guy, even though he voted for W, for loving his kid enough to let him be who he IS.

[Pithlet]

14. Good for him.

But, I'm the type of parent who'll be thrilled if my kids aren't dressed overly preppy.

[RevolutionaryActs]

22. Thats so cool. Its great that guy can and will let his son do as he likes.

:thumbsup: For the parenting.. :thumbsdown: for the voting. LOL

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

23. It makes me feel some real hope.

Men wearing eye makeup is strongly associated with gays in this part of the country. I'm not saying the kid is gay -- only he really knows that -- but that an obvious Republican is okay enough with that to not just PERMIT it, but also to be affectionate and just as good with that kid as with the others -- THAT gives me hope.

Thirty years from today, homophobia will still exist, but it will be something that its practitioners must deny and be ashamed of, like racism is today in most circles.

[RevolutionaryActs]

25. I'll be waiting for that day. It makes me so sad, some of the very best

people I know, are gay, and the fact that these wonderful people have to even think of dealing with morons hating them is so sad and sick. ;(

Everyday, 24/7, I wear a ring on the middle finger of my right hand that says, 'hope.' I will always hope for many things. So here's to hope :toast:

[KitchenWitch]

35. Teenage appearance

It sounds like (by his method of dress) this kid may be a skateboarder. My 14 year old son is a skateboarder, who does not dress as extremely as the above mentioned teen, but the skater uniform seems to be dark shirts, jeans, and studded jewelry. My son does not dye his hair or wear eyeliner, but his hair is long (think early Beatles) and the clothes are typical skateboard wear (I draw the line at t-shirts with emblems that look like the old SS symbols from WWII - he understands, as his grandpa on his dad's side is a WWII combat wounded Marine).

Note: we live in the suburban Twin Cities area, and there is a lot of diversity in appearance for teenagers, it depends upon what they are into, as to how they dress.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

26. Maybe his "W"

stood for something else...like "What the fuck?"

[Nordic]

32. My Dad's a total RW neo-con ex-military, but he let me do whatever

when I was growing up, including wearing LONG LONG hair and little wirerim glasses that I'd wrap around my face.

I looked like a damn girl when I was 13.

Looking back, I almost wish he'd forced me to get a haircut.

He's never understood me, but he tolerated me.

[patdem]

34. Of course you are on my ignore list..and this man may have bought

the car to help a neighbor, an out of work republcian...there are many out there!

[NNadir]

39. It escapes me how one could vote for Bush and love his kids.

You have to hate the future if you voted for Bush. If your boy is wearing mascara at 13 and you voted for Bush then you really, really, really hate your kid, no matter how nice you pretend to be in public.

[Deja Q]

41. Not necessarily. Many repubs I know feel hopeful for the future.

A few I know have the same fears and concerns as I.

Whether it be a load of bunk on taxes, blind political alliance, or other concerns, the yvoted for *.

Maybe their minds were focused on something else.

Maybe some of them do hate the future.

Maybe they don't know what's going on because of the media. If money is a central point in their lives, they're going to have little time for news as they're too busy playing golf with their buddies, in the name of 'networking'.

I don't know. But as easy and fun as it can be to glibly accuse of all republians to be the same, and I've done it before, I really can't.

[NNadir]

44. Ok I qualify it. You can't love your children vote for Bush and have more

than a very weak and dysfunctional brain all at the same time.

Irrespective of why these pathetic excuses for humanity voted for Bush, whether out of ignorance, pure stupidity, rapaciousness, or being so distracted by golf to notice what was going on (and that hardly qualifies as parenting) the outcome is going to be the same: The complete destruction of the future of this country.

[Deja Q]

40. Coiffed? Isn't that FRENCH?

So he can raise children. I'm more curious about what he's done to earn that money. I'm not keen on too many corporate execs or drug dealers these days.

[regweb]

43. There can only be one reasonable answer

based on your description. He recently bought the car used and has been unable to get that damn sticker off. Have you ever tried to remove a bumper sticker?